Can't stop crying

may2806

I know this is more a post for the m/c board but I don't really know those ladies and I feel more comfortable here. I thought I was getting ready to move on - all of my doctors said it was most likely a chromosomal problem, they didn't think it was because of the clotting issues, so I felt like there was nothing I could have done about it. But now I'm questioning the doctors and thinking that maybe if I had known about the clotting issues sooner maybe I could have stopped it. Maybe it was preventable. I'm never going to know and it's killing me. I feel like that was my miracle baby and now that it's lost I'll never have another chance. I just don't know what to do. DH is out and I already talked to my mom for an hour. I just can't stop crying. Trying to get through the work day has been torture all week. Saturday we're going on vacation but I'm convinced it's going to rain the whole time. I'm not even excited about it and I should be. I don't know what's wrong with me... I'm sorry for this rambling post.

theworms

I have no words - I'm so sorry

((HUGS))

I hope you manage to have a nice vacation.

smilee

Hugs, honey

Temp893722312503334

I'm sorry, I know nothing helps but it is true that time does help.  (((hugs))).  BTW, I feel most comfortable posting here vs. M/C board or TTCAL.  

MrsP71506

I am so incredibly sorry.

((hugs))

SweetDahlia

:< I am so sorry. I just want to give you a big hug. You have to believe that it wasn't yoru fault. I hope you can enjoy your vacation. I found a lot of comfort just being with my husband.

Kiki11

I am so sorry.  (((hugs))) After my 3rd IVF failed, I was in a really bad place emotionally.  And we were supposed to be going away on vacation and I really DID NOT want to go.  But I did go and it actually turned out to be just what I needed.  I hope you manage to have a good time. 

Believer09

(((HUGS)))  I'm so sorry. However, I do know how you feel.  I found out that my first mc was due to trisomy something (can't remember which #).  However, I couldn't stop blaming myself.  To be really honest, it took me a long time to even believe what the doctor told us.  I thought he was trying to spare my feelings and came up with that chromosomal issue.  It's not your fault.  There is nothing you could have done.  You'll have your baby...and you'll get through this.  While you may not think so now, you will get through this.  We're here for you.

missred75

I'm so sorry. I don't have any words of advice, but wanted to offer a hug. Maybe the vacation will be much needed. Just getting out of your "normal" routine for a bit. ::hugs::

psychmusetls

::hugs::

JM1977

I'm so sorry about your loss.  I hope you find it helpful to get away next week.  I will be thinking of you.

waitingforbaby#2

I'm so sorry     (((Hugs)))

Mouseygail

I'm so sorry. I hope that you are able to find a little peace on vacation! Hugs!!

may2806

Thank you all for your kind words. They truly made me feel better and I actually stopped crying! I will try to enjoy my vacation.

sliz

i am so sorry

I also look back and wonder if I had just known more if I could have prevented our loss - i.e. maybe if I had refused the physical exams, or stayed in bed etc....

it really is torture....

I hope you feel better...

koyn

I am so sorry.  ((hugs))

MerryMarisa

I'm answering this post late but wanted to give my two cents.  I've had many losses and after every one of them, I've spent days, sometimes weeks, torturing myself with the same questions you're asking yourself.  Honey, there is nothing you could have done to save this pregnancy; the fact is, you had no idea about the blood clotting issues sooner and many, many losses are due to chromosomal issues.

There is nothing wrong with you - you experienced a devestating loss, are trying to understand how it happened and are trying to figure out how you are going to recover.  You're feelings are totally normal, honey.  I think a vacation is a great idea; I hope you enjoy it!  (((( BIG HUGS )))

Dragonfly1226

I'm so sorry! I wish I had seen your post last night. I totally know what it feels like to try to make sense of a m/c. After mine, I tried to think of anything I could have possibly done to prevent it, and I blamed myself for eating a few packets of Sweet N Low with my decaf coffee before I realized I shouldn't have it. I think it's totally natural to have that reaction, but your m/c was not your fault! There's nothing you could have done to prevent it. It was just a really horrible, terrible thing that happened to you. It's not fair at all. Please try not to blame yourself. I'm sending you (((((HUGEHUGS))))) this morning.  

yodasmistress

I wish I could say something to ease your pain but the grief is something we each just have to wade through individually.  I'm sorry.  I wish this were easier for all of us.  ((HUGS))

MrsKario

Im coming in late on this post - I hope you are feeling better today.

Im so sorry for your loss and pain.