STTN - preschooler problem.. any advice?

Julia-Henry

I can't quite believe it but my soon-to-be-4 yo still doesn't sleep through the night in his own bed. He arrives in out bed sometime between 12:45 and 3 am, with a couple of plastic dinosaurs (those things have sharp tails!) and his water bottle, climbs in, and spends the rest of the night with us.

I'd like to evict him - with a new baby coming, I don't think this extra nighttime disruption is going to help, and it's bad enough that I have to get up several times on my own to pee, let alone to deal with the arrival of the child.

Anyway, we're at a loss. ANyone got any ideas on how to evict a 4 yo? I wouldn't mind if it was once or twice a week, but he's there every night and he sometimes refers to dh and my room as "our" room/bed.

And if you don't have any ideas, could someone please remind me that teenagers don't sleep with their parents - that, worst case scenario, he will start STTN in his own bed before college?

carladillon

How about leading him back to his bed?  I imagine the first few times would be drama filled, but if you stick to your guns he'll get the message.  If you give in, then he'll learn that if he fusses long enough then he'll get his way.  Also - you can reward him when he does stay in his bed through the night....like a reward board.  For each night he stays in bed the entire time, he gets a sticker - at the end of the week, if he has 7 stickers or whatever you determine to be fair, he earns a certain reward (i.e. picking out a movie, going to the park, special time with mom and/or dad, etc.)

Artslvr

I like the reward idea in the post above.  Also, maybe talk it up ahead of time - we do this a lot with our toddler about all sorts of transitions (crib to bed, diaper to potty, in home daycare to preschool, sippy cup to regular cup, infinity).  We talk about how this big exciting thing is going to happen - because she's a SUCH big girl now - and soon she'll be doing this great thing and it'll be the best thing in the world. 

Something along the lines of "DH, you know what I think it's time for, because LO is such a big boy now, and I think he's ready... I think it's time for him to spend the whole night in the bed by himself.  Do you think he's ready?  Hmmm, maybe he's not... oh, you think he is!  Alright LO, starting this weekend, you'll be spending the WHOLE night in your bed!  And if you come into our room, we'll take you back to your bed so you remember..."

I know that sounds corny, but doing a little corny playacting about how exciting something is seems to help our toddler through things like this.

SuzP

I love the rewards idea.

 I came in to see what suggestions you got.  My DS who is also almost four, doesn't STTN either.  He walks to our room (our house is a split plan), only to ask me to put him back to bed.  Go figure. 

Good luck!

Julia-Henry

Thanks! We're going to try talking it up for a bit, then implementing a forced return if he keeps reappearing. We tried the reward idea last month. It worked for about 3 days before his desire to sleep in our bed outweighed his interest in any prize we could offer. But it may work better with the other stuff ( talking and returning) at the same time.

And worst case scenario, we'll just send him off to college far, far away from home