I found the problem

pincushions

with Miles.

He misses my sister. For 5 weeks now he has wanted nothing to do with her. This has been since my niece was born. She has been here a few times and we have gone over to her house but he barely even talks to her. I didn't realize until now that when they were here on Sun. he said hi and walked away from her.

Today when I asked him if he wanted to stay the night at her house he said NO. I asked him why and he said "Violet hurt his feelings."

He has never said no to time with me sister. My sister loves him to death, but she has her own baby now and she can't give him that 100% attention.

So how do I help with this? I thought I had prepared him. We talked about it all the time.

More important I think it would break my sister's heart if I said anything about this to her. She goes back to work on Monday and I can't imagine the chaos of a newborn and work, then trying to throw in time for him.

emilykristene2006

That makes me really sad for him. I don't know what you should do, but I realize that's what happened with my niece. It's been 3 years and I finally figured it out over the weekend. Once me and DH had kids, she didn't get all the attention.

Poor Miles... I might try and have a talk with your sister. Maybe you could watch the baby while her and Miles go for ice cream or something?

mlm1128

Is your sister at a point yet where she will be away from the baby for any extended period of time?  If she is, can you ask her to switch kids for a full day so she can have one on one time with Miles? 

I understand this completely.  My nephew and I spent a lot of time together before I had Madelyn (actually all 3 of my nephews, but 2 were old enough to underwstand) and he disliked me and the baby immensely for at least a year.  It took him a long time to warm up to her and to like me again.

xbrooklyngrl

I think its just something that comes with time. No matter how many times you explain it to him, its really impossible to understand for a kid.

Before I had B, I always talked to my little brother and sister about when I had a baby it would take more of my time but that I'd always love them abd bla bla. But when I had her, it was really hard, especially on my sister and she was 8.

I hope he feels better about it soon!

DandelionMom

Poor Miles.?

I'm worried about something like that happening when my sister has kids.??

A little extra understanding will go a long way.? Maybe a special card from your sister?? Maybe he can get involved with making something for his new cousin???

neesernicole

And maybe if she can't do anything in the immediate future, you can set up a date for later when she's able.  This will give him something to look forward to and show that she still wants to spend time with/loves him.