S/O: How do you encourage sharing at this age?

KristinKD

We were at the pedi yesterday, and DD kept trying to take toys from another little girl who was playing with the play kitchen. I tried telling DD that the other girl was playing and DD needed to wait her turn, and she freaked. Fortunately I was able to distract her and avoid a major scene by offering to read a book, but that doesn't help her learn to share.

Her one playdate friend is such a good sharer, but his mom says it's just his personality and she didn't really do anything to encourage it.

Anyone have any tips?

june10-06

I think it's helpful to explain what taking turns means because kids may think that when they give their toy away to a friend then it's gone forever. So, explain that she will get her toy back in 5 or whatever minutes and then follow through and praise praise praise when she does it. I think it takes lots and lots of repetitions, but then eventually understand it. They may not love it, but once they get the concept it's easier to give a toy away.

brittneycc1982

M is naturally good with that too, but sometimes instead of saying, "No, you need to share. Let her play with that toy!"  I can say, "She wants to see the baby dolls eyes, can you show her where the eyes are?" You know, just a using other words basically.

cjtcc

I agree with what the other pp have said. I also praise when he does share. While it's happening and then after. Oh TJ it was really nice of you to share your monster truck with XYZ today, mommy likes it when you play nice like that or something along those lines.

katy75

I used to have the child that would NOT share and at daycare would bite when someone took a toy she was playing with.

I realized that, at home, she never had to share.  It's just her and if she wanted a toy, she got a toy.  We never tried to take anything from her.  So, we spent a lot of time on the floor practicing sharing.  She'd play with something and I would try to take it or ask for it and a meltdown would ensue.  I'd just tell her that mommy wanted a turn to play and she could play with me and then have it back and that she needed to share.  It actually went really, really well.  She thought it was fun.  Now, she will give me a toy and tell me "mama turn".  She was with other LO's over the weekend and no real issue's then.  I do have to remind her that she needs to share.

ETA:  During the meltdown of sharing, I would basically ignore her and play with her toy and after a few minutes, give it back to her and tell her it was her turn to play.

neverblushed

The advice posted above seems very sound, in my opinion.

I do think some kids are just wired up to be better sharers without being taught.  My DD had trouble sharing, but my DS has always been very laid back about sharing.  And it's not like he learned this by having to cooperate with big sis all the time -- when he was a toddler they rarely interacted much and certainly didn't play together!

I agree with the modeling thing.  You have to teach them how to share and give them the experience of getting the item back after they've been willing to turn it over to a friend.

annak23

I usually just give DD another toy to play with so by the time she is done with it the other toy is availible for her to play with.  "Can you play with this one & then you can trade in a little bit".  If your child is not around other kids to learn how to share, then you can practice with her at home.  "Lets share this bowl of ice cream with mommy" & I will hold the bowl & we will take turns taking a bite.  I praise her for sharing well & I keep saying "we're sharing, that's so nice", etc. Things like that.