Ready for baby # 2 but...

LuvBeingMama

One of my really great friends has been trying for #1 for a while. Now she is on medicine to help regulate her cycle...she is on month 3. I know it would kill her if I was pregnant with #2 and she still couldn't get pregnant. Her doctors said that the medicine should work by month 4 or 5. I am waiting but am really ready to start trying. My DD will be 14 months on the 9-1 and I would like for them to be 2 years apart. I also have really LARGE breast. I am having a reduction after bf #2. My back kills me every day and Im too little to have ddd's!! What to do... But I do not want to put another arrow in her heart

Emmasmom30

It does hurt to see your friends get pregnant before you do when you've been trying for awhile.  I'm on my 6th cycle TTC#2 and watching everyone around me get pregnant has been hard.

That said, one of my good friends recently got pregnant after 11 months of trying and I couldn't be happier for her.  It didn't hurt at all when she got her bfp and I am super thrilled for her.

I don't think you should put off TTC.  You never know how long it's going to take.  DD wasn't planned and I assumed it would just as easy this time around but it hasn't been.  

mrshutch

Yes, it's super hard to watch friends get pg when you're having trouble (it was torturous after I had a m/c this winter) but I also think you need to be fair to yourself and if you and DH are ready for #2, go for it. It sounds like you're a very supportive friend, so if you get pg before your friend does, you can gently break the news and hopefully she'll be supportive as well. Even when I was so upset when friends kept announcing pregnancies, it wasn't that I wasn't happy for them. I was just still grieving for myself.

teakum

I agree with everyone. While it sucks that she is having a hard time, you can t put your life on hold. Go ahead and start trying, who knows it may take you a little longer to get pregnant this time around....

brightning

I was really torn over this because my good friend was TTC and I got pg on the first cycle. She ended up having IVF after almost 3 yrs of trying and just recently had her baby. She told me the other day that even though it was hard to see me get pg, it was really nice that I'd already had a baby so she could ask me questions! In the end, you've gotta live your own life and hope that your friend would be happy for you even though it's hard.

jlw2505

I am so sorry for your friend and understand your not wanting to make her feel worse and all but you really would put off TTC yourself because of her.  Sorry but I just don't think that's a great reason.  It is sort of like when people tell me they are not TTC yet because they are in a wedding and don't want to be PG and a bridesmaid.  If you and your DH are ready to TTC for #2, go for it.  You never know when you will get a BFP and you never know when your friend will.  It could happen right away for you both or take a really long time - you just don't know and I can't imagine not TTC just because my friend is also TTC and might feel bad.  Your friend might be jealous and sad but will also be totally happy and excited for you.  Does she know you are thinking about this?  Sorry, but I have a ton of friends who have had a hard time or never got pregnant and ended up adopting and one who has a child and has had 4 m/c since then.  All have been thrilled and sad when other friends have gotten pregnant but ot overall has not changed the relationship.  My oldest sister tried for 2 years and had countless m/c.  She annouced her plans to adopt a few weeks before my other sister found out she was pregnant - the 1st month TTC>  Yes it was hard on both but they survived.  My oldest sister found out about ehr oldest DD (adopted from China) on my other sisters DD"s 1st b-day (adoption from China is a long process and even longer now than back then 8 years ago).  She has since had 1 biological child and adopted another.  Sorry to go on and on but I really think you need to rething this decision and make sure you really want to put this off.