Rough day today

luv2cook

Tomorrow I start back to school and I spent most of the afternoon crying today (and am crying as I write this).  I kept thinking of all the fun things I had planned to do this summer with DS (he's 15 months) and how I couldn't do a lot of them because I was pregnant.  I found myself exhausted during the day and couldn't wait for his nap time...isn't that horrible.  All of the fun things that I had planned to do just got pushed to the side.

I feel like I let him down.  This is the last summer that will be "just him" and I wasn't a good enough mother.  His baby sister will be here in two months and I won't have time for just him anymore.  Part of me is so excited for our family to be complete and the other part of me is scared to death!

 

HarrietNJMommy

I'm sorry. The good news is that your son will never remember that you let him down. He's too young to know. He doesn't know that you had all these things planned.

Don't beat yourself up about it!

Look on the bright side - you have 2 more months with just him - enjoy them!!! 

LoveEeyore

I'm sorry you feel that way.  I can tell you from experience that I was certain I was ruining DD's life b/c my pregnancy limited the play, rough housing and activities we always used to do.  We used to something big and fun every day.  By the end of my pregnancy I could barely hold her much less lift her.  And I worried her life would be over since she would lose her only child status. 

And guess what?

She is so in love with the babies.  She is desperate to benear them and giggles with anticipation when one wakes from a nap so she can "Hold baby, please."  A week after the babies were born, we moved into  a new house and she transitioned beautifully to that, too. She is happy and healthy despite my "slacking" during my pregnancy... I bet your boy is just the same.  Enjoy! 

ETA: Please read that as my perception that I slacked!

Mama Jan

Please read my post here: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/21362783.aspx

Mine are 17 months apart and I really went through that time of feeling like I ruined time with DS, like I let him down, etc.  That's so normal.  The end of my pregnancy was hard, esp. because DS was nearly 30 pounds and didn't walk until I was 35wks pg.  Everything was just hard and I couldn't be the mom I wanted to be.  Things are still not easy because the logistics of getting 2u2 from point A to point B are difficult.  But DS is so in love with his baby brother... I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Once your LO is here, I think you will begin  to feel differently.  But don't worry if that doesn't happen right away!  My biggest crisis came after DS2 was born.  For several weeks, I mourned losing my time with DS1.  But he doesn't remember the time that it was 'just him' and I don't wish that time back now.  We still have special moments during the day when it's just us and I cherish that time.

Hang in there and just know that what you are feeling is normal!

 

 

howleyshell

If it helps any I could have written this post 2 summers ago.  (complete with lots of tears and guilt!)

And... I thought the summer after the baby came would be better but I was still exhausted with a nursing infant so I still wasn't the fun run around let's go hiking kinda Mom I wanted to be.

But this summer I was.

And it was a blast.

Even more of a blast with all of us experiencing it together.

Dylan has NO memories of the summer I was a pregnant lounging oaf.  Nor does he remember the summer I was lagging while caring for his infant brother.

What he WILL remember are all the great memories we'll make together in the summers to come.

Cut yourself some slack.

You're being way worse on yourself than he ever will! 

luv2cook

Thank you for your encouraging words!  I'm feeling much better today!

DH wrote out a list for me with all the fun things that we did this summer with our son:  beach trips, park trips, trip to the zoo, etc.  I realized that we DID do a lot.  I think that I just have such big plans that I never get everythign done that I wanted to!

DS did great today at daycare.  He was so dirty when I picked him up (which I take to mean that he had a blast playing)!  We just had a great night playing outside and he went to bed 2 hours early....must be pretty tired!

Thank you again for your encouraging words.  It's so nice to have this board as a sounding board and to come here for advice for those who are in the same boat!