sleep training at this age??

trishie7

(thought I would post this on this board too, i posted on the 12-24 mos board as well)

please talk to me!

we've used Ferber 2x before with great success but with teething, getting sick, he hasn't been STTN.

right now, when we put him in his crib after milk at nite, he'll scream and cry and stand up. he'll want to be picked up. we end up picking him up because sometimes when he cries hard, he tends to throw up. (he takes his milk around 7.30p and then goes to bed)

last nite, he woke up 4x at least once every hour from 9p-1p. before he would wake up 1x and then would sleep through the nite. 

i'm feeling very frustrated that we did this to ourselves (rocking him to sleep). sigh.we're ready to do ferber. just worried that he'll throw up if he cries hard during the initial moments. but i guess some vomit is not a big thing compared to helping them learn to sleep on their own.

DH & I are beginning to dread night time.  

would appreciate any tips.

 

MrsAmers

There are lots of other sleep training methods besides Ferber.  If I were you I would go to the library and take out a bunch of different books to find the method that's right for you.  I know that there are methods that try to avoid crying and if you actually read the Ferber book there might be suggestions in there for a hard cryer.

Also, could he be getting his eye teeth?  Those were rough for us.  And we had some bedtime issues with DD at 18 months.  We rocked her to sleep for a few weeks (which we hadn't done since she was 10.5 months), and then she stopped needing it.  When we stopped rocking she had a HUGE language explosion, so we think the bedtime issues were a brain development thing.  Although once she got to sleep she wasn't waking up...so you phase might be different.

Good luck and don't feel bad.  It is TOTALLY normal for teething and illness to cause sleep setbacks.  You haven't screwed up your kid.  I promise that you won't be rocking him to sleep forever.  ;-)

teakum

What is ferber?

is this the cry it out??

MrsAmers

teakum:

What is ferber?

is this the cry it out??

Ferber wrote a book about sleep training.  Some people describe it as CIO, but it is really much more gentle than that and if you wanted to try his sleep training method I would suggest reading the book.

I can't give more detail since I haven't read it, I've just heard snippets from fellow moms.

trishie7

Thanks, MrsAmers.

I don't think it's teeth as all of his teeth are in including the molars.

I have read about the brain development at this age so perhaps it is that. He is not sick or had any changes to his nite routine.

Last week he was doing fine, he would wake at nite, he wold cry for less than 5 minutes and when we didn't go in, he'd stop and go to sleep.

This week tho it's different, his cries are different -- sounds so lonely as he calls for Mommy. 

Thanks for the tips, I did check out some books incl Ferber from the library.

Trish

momofolivia

I think you need to know your kid and their habits prior to deciding to CIO/Ferber, etc.  For instance, I know that when DD is not sleeping well, there is a reason for it.  But I also know that after she has stop teething or is no longer sick, that she is now stuck in a routine that we created to soothe her while she was teething/sick.  So I know there is a point where I can do sleep training.

If you aren't sure why he is upset, then you may want to wait a bit longer before trying sleep training, especially if he was sleeping well prior to this.

There is also separation anxiety, and we dealt with this from 18-20.5 months (along with teething and illness).  So if he sounds lonely, then this might be one of the reasons.  We did not CIO during this time.

SymphonyGirl

We loved No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.  It's definitely a different approach than Ferber, so I don't know if it fits with your parenting philosophy, but it worked great for us.  It really helps you identify what is causing the sleep problems and address those issues specifically. 

trishie7

Thank you ladies for your posts! A friend gave me the "no cry... " book so I will read it as well.

 

neya28

I might be in the minority here but I think you should re-ferberize. Ferber worked really great for us. DS wont even fall asleep if we try to rock him now. He prefers going to sleep on his own. He has had major separation anxiety lately and will throw a minor fit at bedtime but he still falls asleep and STTN w/o a problem. If he cries at bedtime, I'll usually go in and pick him up once and tell him that I'm gonna sing him a song and then he has to go to sleep. He usually settles down w/ no issue after. We tried the 'no cry solutions' and non of that ever worked for us. So I think you should re-read ferber and try again.