I think we are on a break until June..(long)

madelyn07

and I am NOT happy about it.

AF still hasn't showed so my surgery this Friday is a no-go. And my boss won't let me take time off for the surgery until January since these next 4 months are black out months for our office, she is having double knee surgery and will be out a long time and one of my co-workers turned in his two week notice this morning.

In January DH's season starts (college coach) and he won't be home hardly at all until their season ends in mid June. We could theoretically try during his season but I just know with our luck, he'd be out of town on a road trip when he needed to be home and I'm not willing to waste the time and money on more canceled cycles due to his job. I think by that time we'll be to an IUI but our local RE's office doesn't use frozen sperm, only the main office which is over two hours away and therefore not really doable for me with my work schedule.

I'm just so disappointed. I'm so disappointed in my body. I'm so disappointed that there will be 7 months in which we can't do anything. And I just know that DH's sister and cousin will be getting pregnant very soon (just have that feeling and I know both of them are trying) and I'm not sure how I'll be able to handle it. They've both just started trying and we will be at 2 years of "trying" (year wise, not cycle wise since we have to take so many off) before we will even be able to resume.

How do you deal with extended breaks? How do you keep yourself from not being absolutely miserable? I just feel so helpless, so broken, so worthless...I can't even give myself and my husband the one thing we want the most.

susan1017

It must be hard when your husbands job schedule is so demanding. I dont have any insight just ::hugs::.

That aside, why does your boss get to choose when you take off for a medical procedure?  I would be in HR right now causing a stink!  I would look into your rights even if you take short term disability or family leave to get the surgery taken care of. It is absurd to me that your boss has a say so in your healthcare!!!

 

ladychicago

oh hon, i am so sorry!!!!        i personally think it is absolutely ridiculous that you couldn't get time off for a SURGERY.    have you asked?   what if it was an emergency?   or you had swine flu?   would they make you come in?!    if you have sick time, and you have an urgent medical needs, i can't understand how it is legal for them to prevent you from getting medical care.     that's infuriating.         or is there a way for you to induce AF so you could schedule the surgery next week?     is that not an option either? 

 

:-(     i'm so frustrated and mad for you!!!!

theworms

I've had several forced breaks on this journey b/c of DH's dx (6 months b/t each procedure and waiting for MFI Dr. to have mTESE cycle) and let me tell you they stink but they usually pass pretty quickly.

I just tried to focus on other things that make me happy and since our last failed cycle on trying to lose weight.

GL

madelyn07

susan1017:

It must be hard when your husbands job schedule is so demanding. I dont have any insight just ::hugs::.

That aside, why does your boss get to choose when you take off for a medical procedure?  I would be in HR right now causing a stink!  I would look into your rights even if you take short term disability or family leave to get the surgery taken care of. It is absurd to me that your boss has a say so in your healthcare!!!

 

From what I've gathered it is because it is a black out time that we've all had to agree to. It is our busiest time from September-December and we are not allowed to take any vacation days during that time. Sick days need to be approved and she said she won't approve them since we are so short handed right now. I don't even really have the energy to bring it to HR because in the end it really isn't going to matter. We'd get one, maybe two cycles in before January hits and we have to stop. And it isn't worth it to me to go behind my boss's back and drag HR into this. Even if they approve it, she'll just make my life miserable for doing it (she is very immature, very "entitled" and holds grudges like no one I've ever met before..).

hillaree

Wow, I would be so frustrated and sad too. I'm so sorry your schedules, surgeries, AF, and TTC in general aren't working out. That stinks.

We were "on a break" in a way from Nov 2008- June 2009 as my DH had surgery and then I had surgery. There were a few months in there that we did "try" but without any medical intervention our chances are really slim. It was so hard to wait. I will say that the beginning of the wait was the most difficult as I anticipated the long stretch...but once I was in the midst of it I accepted it for the most part. I don't really have any tips and I just know it sucks. I'm sorry.

I would say if there is ANYTHING creative you can do to TTC sooner I would. ((hugs))

madelyn07

ladychicago:

.         or is there a way for you to induce AF so you could schedule the surgery next week?     is that not an option either? 

 

:-(     i'm so frustrated and mad for you!!!!

I don't know if there is...I had a shot of progesterone last Wednesday..and we've been having lots of sex (which usually does the trick for me) and neither have worked so far...any other recommendations? Basically this Friday was my best shot b/c it is my last day of only having my returning student workers working..next Monday all of the new ones start and I'm not going to be able to take off work until they are all trained...

susan1017

madelyn07:

susan1017:

 

From what I've gathered it is because it is a black out time that we've all had to agree to. It is our busiest time from September-December and we are not allowed to take any vacation days during that time. Sick days need to be approved and she said she won't approve them since we are so short handed right now. I don't even really have the energy to bring it to HR because in the end it really isn't going to matter. We'd get one, maybe two cycles in before January hits and we have to stop. And it isn't worth it to me to go behind my boss's back and drag HR into this. Even if they approve it, she'll just make my life miserable for doing it (she is very immature, very "entitled" and holds grudges like no one I've ever met before..).

 

I guess that makes a bit of sense but still it is frustrating. Since DH is not available until June, maybe getting the surgery done in the new year is not so terrible.  I hope the time goes fast for you and I didnt mean to stir a pot with the work situation.  I just get infuriated when bosses think they can run the lives of people who only work for them.

;-)

madelyn07

susan1017:

madelyn07:

susan1017:

 

From what I've gathered it is because it is a black out time that we've all had to agree to. It is our busiest time from September-December and we are not allowed to take any vacation days during that time. Sick days need to be approved and she said she won't approve them since we are so short handed right now. I don't even really have the energy to bring it to HR because in the end it really isn't going to matter. We'd get one, maybe two cycles in before January hits and we have to stop. And it isn't worth it to me to go behind my boss's back and drag HR into this. Even if they approve it, she'll just make my life miserable for doing it (she is very immature, very "entitled" and holds grudges like no one I've ever met before..).

 

I guess that makes a bit of sense but still it is frustrating. Since DH is not available until June, maybe getting the surgery done in the new year is not so terrible.  I hope the time goes fast for you and I didnt mean to stir a pot with the work situation.  I just get infuriated when bosses think they can run the lives of people who only work for them.

;-)

Oh no don't worry, you didn't stir the pot at all. I just really don't want her to make things any more difficult than they already are...and she is good at that. I agree with you, I hate that they feel that way too and both my boss and my husband's boss feel that way. And right now I just don't have the energy to deal with her.

Jin'sWifey

I hope you don't mind my posting but i have also had several forced breaks throughout our ttc journey..The last being 11 months b/f this BFP..They do suck, i won't lie but like a pp said they do seem to go by quickly..

I will keep you in my thoughts.. i am sorry your break has to be as long as it is...i hope the next several months fly by for you! ((HUGS))

can i make a suggestion though..if your boss wont give you time off is it possible for you to apply for FMLA? That way your boss has no say and your job will not be a jepordy...

madelyn07

Jin'sWifey:

I hope you don't mind my posting but i have also had several forced breaks throughout our ttc journey..The last being 11 months b/f this BFP..They do suck, i won't lie but like a pp said they do seem to go by quickly..

I will keep you in my thoughts.. i am sorry your break has to be as long as it is...i hope the next several months fly by for you! ((HUGS))

can i make a suggestion though..if your boss wont give you time off is it possible for you to apply for FMLA? That way your boss has no say and your job will not be a jepordy...

I don't mind at all...I haven't really thought about applying for FMLA because it would only be one day..my surgery would be on a Friday and I'd be fine to go back to work on Monday. I'm not worried about her firing me or anything over it because she can't...we just tend to have a very tense, hostile work environment anyway and I don't want to make it worse..

nikinikinine

I'm so sorry. I really don't have any suggestions as the longest break we've been on so far is two months (we start something, lord knows what right now next cycle).

For me I've focused on other goals (running a half marathon, decorating our house, etc.) and that's helped...a little.

(((hugs))) and best wishes to you!

AuburnBride06

The PIO shot does not bring on AF for me either. I would suggest taking prometrium to bring on AF and then scheduling your surgery.  I take prometrium for 5 days (200mg/day) and then AF usually starts 3 days after the last pill for me (but for some it can vary, as much as 14 days).  Once AF starts, schedule the surgery, and call in sick. Don't tell them why, it's only one day. They don't need to know why, and you are entitiled to the sick days. If you are sick you are sick, nothing they can do about it.

madelyn07

AuburnBride06:

The PIO shot does not bring on AF for me either. I would suggest taking prometrium to bring on AF and then scheduling your surgery.  I take prometrium for 5 days (200mg/day) and then AF usually starts 3 days after the last pill for me (but for some it can vary, as much as 14 days).  Once AF starts, schedule the surgery, and call in sick. Don't tell them why, it's only one day. They don't need to know why, and you are entitiled to the sick days. If you are sick you are sick, nothing they can do about it.

Thanks for the info. I have to call in to the RE tomorrow to tell them that I haven't started yet and at that time I'll ask about the prometrium.

perry7285

don't be so hard on yourself, sweetie! you're NOT worthless. you're an awesome woman who has to deal with incredibly annoying medical crap that's not your fault.

i don't have anything helpful to say, just lots of hugs. i'll e-mail you soon.