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Preemies
One year ago Nathan passed away.
I realize I haven't been on this board much lately - mostly just stopping by to lurk for a few quick minutes, then back to my busy life - so, I apologize for suddenly showing up in need of support. Last week marked Aubrey and Nathan's first birthday. I insisted it be a day of celebration, because that's what Aubrey deserved. Although, we did make a small cake just for Nathan and kept it off to the side. Now today marks the one year anniversary of Nathan's passing. I'm so sick of wanting to feel what I know I feel, but I just can't let myself. I keep plugging along and 'staying strong.' It's so difficult to look at Aubrey every single day and wonder what Nathan would be like and look like if he were here now. I know a few of you on here have gone through a similar situation (losing a twin or multiple), how do you deal? How do you not look at your baby and know that something is missing?
On a completely different note, I must boast my li'l Aubrey and how far she's come. She came into the world at 2lbs 4ozs and on her 1 year b-day she weighed in at over 19lbs and is 28.5" long! Last month she had to have the rest of her shunt tubing placed. That surgery made us push off her previously scheduled hip surgery (now scheduled for September 16). She's sharp as a tack and all smiles! She would be crawling if it weren't for her hips, so instead she just barrel roles everywhere and tries to get herself into sitting position on her own. Again, her hips being out of place hinders her. She talks like crazy - screeches too - and has some serious drive. We pray this hip surgery gets her completely on track and that she will one day walk.
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Re: One year ago Nathan passed away.
I remember that day you posted and I can't imagine how difficult today is for you. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
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Your ears must have been ringing b/c someone just posted about you the other day and people were saying they were thinking of you.
I'm so sorry for the pain you must feel. I remember when it happened and I think of you often. Have you guys had any therapy?
I'm so glad Aubrey is doing well and it's so nice to see new pictures!
Come chat with us more often ok? We miss you!
No, no therapy. We were going to do it, but honestly there just hasn't been time. I'd say for the most part, I'm handling everything as best as can be expected, but some days... well, they can be a little overwhelming.
Look at Marino! I looooove that picture! Can't believe we have TODDLERS now!
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. i can't even imagine how difficult what you have gone through must be. your daughter is beautiful and im sure she keeps you going and your spirits up.
Happy birthday Aubrey!
Brandon turned 1 on July 5th and I have also been having a hard time dealing with looking at him and knowing something is missing. I also wonder what she would be doing if she were here. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Brandon's twin sister. May 25th is the day that we lost her and it was a hard day for me. We did celebrate it as a family and we plan to every year. It was nice to be together as a family that day.
I can't even imagne how hard this must be for you, but I don't think there is any shame in not being strong.
Hugs!
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I remember when you posted about Nathans passing. My thoughts are with you.
What a darling little girl you have! I can't imagine how bittersweet this time is for your family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you too.
Your daughter is adorable. And so big!
I know there are some online groups for parents who have a surviving twin. I can find out the information if you would like me to pass it on. Perhaps it would be helpful to talk to others who know. Just let me know!
Yes, that would be very nice! Thank you!
1st off - ((HUG)) angelversaries are very tough. 2nd off -Happy 1 Year Birthday to Aubrey!
It was hard for me on Sophie's birthday too, b/c I wanted her sister to be here to enjoy everything as well. I had a lil cry to myself as were standing around the cake singing. It gets easier, and you will be able to tell her about her brother when she's ready. I wonder the same things though, what would she look like/act like? How would they interact together? I see the way Sophie looks at other kids and it hurts b/c I know she was supposed to have a playmate.
You know what? I remember when you posted about Nathan passing but I didn't remember the actual date and I swear to you that last night when I was praying I prayed for you and Angel baby Nathan. I mean I pray all the time but I don't usually name the angel babies specifically and Nathan was one of them I said last night.
Anyways, that probably didn't help the way you feel right now. I don't know what you're going through but I do know that you don't have to be "strong" if you don't want to. It's OK to break down. ((HUGS))
And Happy Birthday to Aubrey!!!! You should be so proud!
((hugs)) I can't imagine your pain, but remember it's not to be strong sometimes.
I love your pictures of Aubrey! She is a cutie. Keep us updated about her surgery.
Aubrey is absolutely beaufiful and your updated pic are fabulous. ?She sounds like a very determined little girl so if anyone can get through hip surgery and cast, it will be her for sure! ?
Sending many hugs about Nathan's anniversary. ?I have not lost a child so I don't have any great words of advice to pass along, but know that you have a large group of caring souls here praying for you and your sweet little boy.?
I had been wondering about you guys lately so when someone posted wondering about Cody, I had to bring you up and I am glad you replied to that post and updated us on Aubrey's progress today!
Happy B-day to both your sweet babies (the one here and the one in heaven). I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a child and I am sure it gets easier with time but you can never forget or heal completely. I would assume talking to others would help.
I hope Aubrey's hip surgery goes well and I am so glad to hear that she is doing so well. She is so big!!! I love the new pics. You are a beautiful family.
I can't even begin to imagine what you've gone through in the past year. Its okay to stop being the "rock, the strong one" You have every right to cry, kick, scream and ask "why me?"
On a happier note, I love your new pictures of Aubrey. The fist full of cake is the best! And I'm sure she'll be a little rockstar through her hip surgery! You and your sweet babies are in my prayers!
I remember when you first started to post on this board. I was a new preemie mom who had just had my daughter due to pPROM. I also remember when you posted about your DS's passing. I am so very sorry for your loss, then and now.