To know, or not to know...

jessicaheath13

Next week is our big U/S and we cannot decide on whether to find out the sex or not.  Up until last week, I was all for keeping it a surprise.  Now I am having a change of heart.  I also like the idea of sealing the results and having a surprise cake or something like that later on.  Any words of advice from Team Green?

redhotchili83

we went through the second guessing right before we went into the 20 week ultrasound. Ultimately we didnt find out and, for me, I am so hapy we decided to wait.  I am soooo excited to have that "Its a ....." moment when LO decides to join us   So I guess I am very pro-team green

mhickey12

Once you make it through the ultrasound, you'll be fine. That's the only time I faltered. Thank God my husband stayed strong for both of us! I can't wait for him to tell me what this little baby is! It's one of the last surprises on earth!!

turkishdelight

We didn't find out with #1 and it was so so fun.  We had polls going for our family and friends to guess the gender and when the baby would actually arrive.  My husband LOVED getting to go out to a waiting room full of people and yell "It's a _______!"  The nurses in our delivery (both the L&D nurse and the baby nursery nurses) said they'd never been to a surprise delivery before and really shared in the excitement.

Plus, not to be materialistic or anything but we received almost no clothes at showers but TONS of the stuff we really needed--bottles, gear, toys, etc. 

LERAugust

Just go in thinking you're not going to find out -- it's not like the ultrasound tech is going to badger you into it.  Once you say you don't want to know, they won't bring it up again.

axr8111

I really like not knowing especially if you or family has a gender preference. I didn't but I know my family has been really wanting a girl and I'm glad they didn't find out that #1 was a boy before he came because I would worry that it would have taken a tiny bit away from the pregnancy. You know, like they would say, ohhhh, that's too bad or something. I know dumb, but that's why we didn't find out again, because having a boy, my mom and sisters are way too vocal about wishing for a girl for me when I really don't care. I know dumb, but I really liked not knowing and then spending the entire pregnancy thinking about whether it was a boy or girl. Ok this is wordy, but hopefully you get my point.?

LesleyKimball

I was in your exact position last week- I even posted a similar bulliten. I think that this decision is one that needs to be made by you and your SO. I can tell you my experience. My hubby and I were going to be Team Green- we told everyone that we were keeping it a surprise- and two days before the big US we decided that we did want to know. This is our first and here are our reasons to find out: 1. We think that it will be easier to feel a connection to LO now that we know the sex- we can say baby girl now.  2. It will make for an exciting last half of the pregnancy.  3. We can now focus our name choices on girl names.  4. Gender neutral clothes are hard to come by- and they are cute for boys but not as much for girls.  5. It is nice to prepare.  6. During labor- if you have an epidural- you can not eat, get up or sleep much sometimes for 2 days. I have heard that it feels like you are in a dream or on sedatives and once the baby comes out all you want to do is eat and rest. I wanted to hear everyone's reaction and be able to share that experience also. I would hate to miss that.

It is your decision and you need to think about what you want. I am so happy that I found out that I am having a girl. I am not diappointed at all that I cracked and changed my mind. Good luck in making your decision- your baby will be beautiful either way. And it is just as much of a surprise at 20 weeks or at 40!

llc730

My big U/S is next Monday. I am still stubornly on Team Green, but I know what you mean about second guessing. When we first got the BFP DH was very apathetic about either finding out or not finding out, but then we talked to a co-worker of his that was Team Green for both of her pregnancies and she told us that there is just nothing like that moment of the Dr. telling you it's a ___. I also think about telling people about LO when they arrive. If you know then everyone already knows the gender and the name. If you wait then it all gets to be one big surprise. I also agree with PP that talked about shower gifts. It is my hope that because we are Team Green we will get practical items that we need for gifts instead of 20 different outfits that LO will grow out of in 2 mo and that I didn't get to have a say in picking out. This is just IMO, ultimately you have to do what is right for you and DH.

llc730

LesleyKimball:

 6. During labor- if you have an epidural- you can not eat, get up or sleep much sometimes for 2 days. I have heard that it feels like you are in a dream or on sedatives and once the baby comes out all you want to do is eat and rest. I wanted to hear everyone's reaction and be able to share that experience also. I would hate to miss that.

Just wondering where you got this info. This was not the experience of any of my patients when I was in nursing school or any of my friends/family.

LesleyKimball

llc730:

LesleyKimball:

 6. During labor- if you have an epidural- you can not eat, get up or sleep much sometimes for 2 days. I have heard that it feels like you are in a dream or on sedatives and once the baby comes out all you want to do is eat and rest. I wanted to hear everyone's reaction and be able to share that experience also. I would hate to miss that.

Just wondering where you got this info. This was not the experience of any of my patients when I was in nursing school or any of my friends/family.

 

Well I have zero experience but I heard from a friend that had a 36 hour long labor. She said that all you could have was juice and popsicles. She also said that after the epi that you cant get up due to numbness. She was so uncomfortable that she did not sleep at all and by the time the baby was born she felt like she was delerious and missed a lot of the experience. I don't know a lot of Moms so I thought this was a normal experience. I take it that you have seen different? Please share! I am a bit traumatized and scared after hearing my friends labor story. I thought that this was normal.

LilBelly

I haven't had first hand experience with the epi either, but I do know neither my sister's or sil's was like this. I suppose that in such a long labor perhaps that could be the case, but from those that I've seen (which admittedly did not last long at all!), the epi did not make them uncomfortable or make them feel delirious or as though they missed any of the experience. They were both very happy with their l&d, including the epi. However, different people have different reactions to all sorts of medications, so I won't say what is truly the "norm."

llc730

LesleyKimball:

llc730:

LesleyKimball:

 6. During labor- if you have an epidural- you can not eat, get up or sleep much sometimes for 2 days. I have heard that it feels like you are in a dream or on sedatives and once the baby comes out all you want to do is eat and rest. I wanted to hear everyone's reaction and be able to share that experience also. I would hate to miss that.

Just wondering where you got this info. This was not the experience of any of my patients when I was in nursing school or any of my friends/family.

 

Well I have zero experience but I heard from a friend that had a 36 hour long labor. She said that all you could have was juice and popsicles. She also said that after the epi that you cant get up due to numbness. She was so uncomfortable that she did not sleep at all and by the time the baby was born she felt like she was delerious and missed a lot of the experience. I don't know a lot of Moms so I thought this was a normal experience. I take it that you have seen different? Please share! I am a bit traumatized and scared after hearing my friends labor story. I thought that this was normal.

If you are feeling traumatized I would advise discussing it with your OB. There are ways to avoid/minimize the chances of having the experience that your friend did.