Miscarriage As Part of Your IF Journey?

*kendrick*

I got some support on the TTCAL board, but I would love opinions from here, too. 

DH and I TTC for 11 cycles before I got PG and then had an MC. Since cycle 12 was soon coming, my charts have always been screwy,  and there are long waits for these kinds of appointments, we actually had an SA set up for DH and an RE referral appointment set up for me when we got our BFP. Then we had the early loss (<5 wks). At my MC appointment the dr. told me we would have to try for another 12 months before being considered IF and to cancel the reproductive counseling appointment since we are no longer close to being considered IF. She refused to look at my charts and accept that angle.

We are keeping the SA since it is w/ DH's insurance (we have different insurers, both offer some degree of IF coverage). Can his insurance give us the RE referral and then my insurance covers it? Or will my insurance only cover if it my physical issue, not his? Any idea if trying another year after a loss is an "industry" standard? Can I get an RE referral based on charts and dr. is just being difficult? I know this varies by insurer and doctor, but hopefully hearing your experiences will help me know the right questions to pursue.

yodasmistress

I have heard what your doc is saying, though I have also heard other opinions.  If you really want/need the referral, I suggest looking around for a doc that sees things more your way, because they do exist. 

harley12

I'm not sure about the insurance piece, but I can't imagine your RE would make you try for another 12 months. That is absurd! I had just started with my RE at about 13 months and I had an early miscarriage(chemical pregnancy)  without any treatment, They never mentioned starting over to be considered IF. We then picked up where we left prior to the chemical pregnancy and went right into IVF.

Is there another RE in your area you can see?  

 

missred75

I don't know about the insurance, but I hope that you can convince them otherwise. That's terrible if they make you keep waiting. I wish you all the luck in the world, and I'm sorry for your loss. ::hugs::

kimarino13

I had 3 early losses and was never told I had to wait any amount of time to be considered IF again.  I would switch REs if it's an option.  GL!

*kendrick*

Frustratingly, I am not seeing an RE. I can't get the referral. I have a VERY strict HMO. My GYN or my PCP has to give me the referral to the RE or I pay OOP. I think my GYN and my PCP are sbeing bone-headed. If they would actually look at my charts I really think it would be clear that my LP is probably not long enough to support a PG and that I need to be seeing a specialist. I genuinely was shocked to even get PG, and sadly wasn't too surprised that I lost it because I feel so strongly that I do have an issue.

DH suggested that we pay OOP to get a referral from another doctor, but I don't know if my insurance will accept that. It is so frustrating, so I am trying to do some "out of the box" thinking.

yodasmistress

If you think you have an LPD, is there any chase your OB would give you a script for progesterone suppositories?

*kendrick*

yodasmistress:

If you think you have an LPD, is there any chase your OB would give you a script for progesterone suppositories?

That is my hope. Unfortunately my OB/GYN is in the "doesn't believe that LPD treatment results in a PG" camp. She said the next thing she would consider is a uterine biopsy, but being that she is in the school of thought that she is in, she says that even that won't be conclusive. If I could just get the darn referral I could go to an excellent fertility center that is covered at at 50% and I they would be experts at LPD treatment, but alas. She won't give me the referall since she doesn't believe I have a problem (or that it is a treatable problem).

Really, I know I need a different doctor but I have seen three already and they all are in this same school of thought. My HMO makes it very difficult to feel out the philosophies of different doctors.

Thanks everyone for helping me think this all out!

sliz

I would try to find a pcp/ob that gives you a referral -

Dragonfly1226

First, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. As for trying to get a referral, I would say go to another obgyn who takes your insurance. (There has to be more than one.) Maybe this doctor will see things differently. Unfortunately, I'm not sure the doctor will be able to help with insurance. I wish doctors would listen more to patients - I put a lot of stock in your gut feeling that something is wrong. For me, I knew that things weren't right after my D&Es. My cycles were all messed up but I still had to wait the 12 months after my m/c before getting referred to the RE. I would definitely have your dh go for the SA. If there's something there, then you'll be able to go to the RE. One thing I have learned is that sometimes you have to be your own advocate with the doctors. I would encourage you to find a doctor who will really listen to you. Also, some obgyns will do some basic blood work to check things out. I wish you the best of luck!  

Dr.Loretta

I'm sorry for your loss, and for the difficulties you're going through.

I would talk to each of your insurers about the RE referral question.

I have never heard of trying for yet another year with 11 months of TTC and a m/c. If anything, I've had REs that are too aggressive, not too laid back.

IMO the dr is being difficult and you should at least seek a second opinion.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Quizzle

That is ridiculous!

 

I had a m/c in cycle 5, and my cycles freaked out after that, so I was put on clomid after 8 months TTC (in cycle 7). Granted it was with my ob, but that goodness I didn't need a referral.

 

Can you pretty much pitch a fit to your ob? Just because you CAN get pregnant doesn't mean there isn't a problem. We have severe MFI. I got pregnant naturally with our 1% chance. It just didn't stick. 

 

I'd try a different doctor. 

beadgirl2

ugh, I am so sorry.  I had a similar situation with a m/c after 7 mos TTC on our own and my cycles were screwed up the whole time. My OB/GYN never mentioned going to an RE so after 12 mos total I made my own referral.  I am OOP though so that is one luxury of all those bills.  I have never heard that about the IF diagnoses though, if you aren't pg I think most people consider it IF.  Waiting another year is BS.  I agree with pp's about either switching OB's or talking to your insurance.  Does your insurance have a specific definition of IF that they use? Or is it strictly based on your OB/GYN referral.  I did get a second opinion with a different OB/GYN before we decided to go with an RE.  So that is definately not out of the question for you. Also, if you know what RE they would refer you to you may consider calling that RE's office (since they may be used to working with your OB) and getting their advice on getting the referral.  Good luck.  I'm sorry you have to deal with the frustration on top of the loss.