im 41 and scared

annettejacob

im having a baby after 18 years and feel so alone. my kids r grown and i have no positive responses from people or dr's. im scared and have a wonderful husband. were really excited. this is my husbands first child.

pinkysun

You are in good company, Celine Dion, at 41, just announced that she is expecting her 2nd child:

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32461344/ns/entertainment-celebrities/

You always have us here on the 35 and over board for support!  Everyone is very supportive and never rude!

Good Luck!

annettejacob

thankyou so much, im the only one of my friends to have a baby this late in life and i dont even know what to exspect or feel or think or if what happening to me is right or wrong do i feel what others feel and do they have the same sickness, its really really scarey for me

stever

Don't be scared. This is such an exciting time. Congrats!

serrill2

Hi!!!

I am 41 and will be 42 when our LO is here.  I too have an 18 yo son, and also I have a 16 yo DD.   

I was scared and happy when I found out I was pregnant.  I thought the older kids would freak out, my parents would be upset, and I would get a lecture from my Dr.    For the first week after I found out, I was sure that I was dying of every known disease until my DH made me stop looking up illness on the web.

When I finally began telling people, I realized that there was alot of support, and very little negativity.

I never heard even one comment about my age, except the OB asked me if I had an oops moment or if the LO was planned lmao. 

One thing I have noticed is that I feel more comfortable and "in the moment" with this baby.  No hurry for milestones, or even finding out the gender.   

We will be excited for you!  Welcome aboard

OCNewlywed

Don't be scared! I just turned 43 and am due in December. This is my third - oldest is 5 - so I started out after 35! Three of my close friends also had babies at around 40. I am sorry you aren't getting positive responses - you will get lots of positive responses here. Also, re: the doctors, if they aren't positive, I would find new ones! My doctor was absolutely positive about it!

gobigblue

this board is great so if you're ever feeling down about anything, come check in!  congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

annettejacob

everyone thankyou. i think i might need a new dr. cause his response was why did u do that. i felt intimadated. i have had this obgyn for 10 years and never felt that way until i told him i took home test and im pregnant. yes it surprised me as well i was not really exspecting to be exspecting everyone said ur going through the change early. i have never been on birth control and never used protection and never got pregnant in 18 years. never thought  anything of it. just thought god wouldnt give me one or he thought i was done having them. i dont know, i just am suprised as much as everyone but so completely happy that i was chosen to have another baby. i am all for it and cant believe it. so is my hubby.

NewMrs07

Don't listen to people or doctors, they only go by the statistics they read about. Many, many women have healthy babies after 40. There are quite a few women of "advanced maternal age" (whatever that means) on this board that have healthy pregnancies and babies. I think you should enjoy your pregnancy and be happy about it, don't listen to the debbie downers out there. Happy and healthy 9 months to you!

NewMrs07

annettejacob:

everyone thankyou. i think i might need a new dr. cause his response was why did u do that. i felt intimadated. i have had this obgyn for 10 years and never felt that way until i told him i took home test and im pregnant. yes it surprised me as well i was not really exspecting to be exspecting everyone said ur going through the change early. i have never been on birth control and never used protection and never got pregnant in 18 years. never thought  anything of it. just thought god wouldnt give me one or he thought i was done having them. i dont know, i just am suprised as much as everyone but so completely happy that i was chosen to have another baby. i am all for it and cant believe it. so is my hubby.

Don't walk... RUN away from that doctor as soon as you can. There are plenty of doctors out there that have no problems with women giving birth after 40. The only thing they will do is make a note of your age and recommend an amnio or CVS when the time comes, which you have a right to refuse (I did). Don't let doctors make you feel powerless or guilty about such a blessing as being pregnant. And like I said, I've seen women all the up to their mid 40s giving birth to healthy babies. Are there risks? Yeah, but there are risks to everything in life. Most likely everything will be OK. We're all vouching for ya!

carladillon

You'll find there are plenty of women on here that have had healthy pregnancies and babies at 41 and beyond.  PLEASE get another doctor!  I can't believe the judgement he has passed on you!  All babies are blessings!  This is a very exciting time for you and your DH.  Congratulations!

JenniferTCU

Hi there! I understand about being scared. I am 36 weeks along and still scared As Carla said, all babies are blessings. I am so excited for you! I'd do as Mrs says and find a new OB. Mine was *totally* supportive of us starting a family at 40. Good luck and welcome to the board

Laura Cochran

You are in great company here and will find lots of support. Congratulations!

 

 

ETA: Yes, please find a new OB. There are so many Drs. out there that will be supportive of your decision. My Dr. has never batted an eye at me being over 35 and encouraged me before I even got pg. 

KGsky

annettejacob:

everyone thankyou. i think i might need a new dr. cause his response was why did u do that. i felt intimadated. i have had this obgyn for 10 years and never felt that way until i told him i took home test and im pregnant. yes it surprised me as well i was not really exspecting to be exspecting everyone said ur going through the change early. i have never been on birth control and never used protection and never got pregnant in 18 years. never thought  anything of it. just thought god wouldnt give me one or he thought i was done having them. i dont know, i just am suprised as much as everyone but so completely happy that i was chosen to have another baby. i am all for it and cant believe it. so is my hubby.

My sis had one at 43, one of her girlfriends at 41, it's getting to be so common now!  I'm happy for you (especially since you're happy) and enjoy this second go 'round on the motherhood wheel! LOL  I started late, so I'm afraid this go 'round is about all I have left!

Boricuabella067

hi

I agree with all the women on here, please find another Doctor, emotional well being is another factor and if this "Doctor" is going to make you feel bad and anxious everytime you see him, that is not good for you or the baby , you need to stay positive and with a doctor like that who can be?

I am 41 turning 42 in October and i am 5 weeks pregnant and looking forward to it! hang in there and by all means get rid of that "Dinosaur"!   

Peppernut

Congratulations, and welcome!

I'm 41!  My mother had me at 40, and my little sister at 42.

I would get yourself a better doctor, or if you can find a mixed midwife/doctor group, that might be even better.  It sounds like you need support and positive people around you and your husband. 

Also, I advise using google with caution!  As long as you're healthy and you take good care of yourself, you should be just fine.  

 

cfitz16

Get another doctor...perhaps a woman doctor might be more sensitive about that issue?  Congrats and have a H & H 9 months!

mommyof9+

I have 4 children from a first marriage ages 23,21,20,17, I remarried 5 years ago and we were told we would have no bio children, we only asked because my husband had no bio children. Since recieving this answer we went into foster care. Last fall we adopted our 6yr old who we have had for 3 years and his 2 yr old half brother we brought home from the hospital. In June, three days after signing adoption papers for three more children ages 5,7 and 12 we found out we were expecting. Last Thursday our adoption was final. Here I am at 43 pregnant with 9 children expecting #10 2/3/2010 Life throws us curves...at our age we just go with it I am scared of all the unknowns its been so long. My 20 yr old teases me that i act like this is my first pregnancy...after 17= years it feels like it happy and healthy pregnancy to ou

mommy_bear

Congratulations and welcome to the board. I agree with what all the other posters have said. Seek a supportive OB!

You will find lots of AMA ladies here including this 40 year old!

 

 

Gossip Girl

I just turned 41 and I'm due in October.  In NYC having a baby in your 40s is completely normal and nobody has made any negative comments about my age.  Definitely get another doctor asap.  And happy and healthy 9 months!