Help! Advice for my 5 year old.

mswestbrook22

Okay, so my daughter is not a baby anymore..but we have this problem.  She just about always poops on herself when we are at recess or playing on the playground.  I've tried talking to her...spanking...time out..taking beloved things away..and nothing seems to work.  She starts Kindergarten Monday and I am scared the other kids will laugh at her or she'll be thrown out of school.  This only happens when she is playing.  Is anyone else going through this and if so, what did you do?  Thanks!

cjtcc

Why would you spank for an accident? To make her feel ashamed? Hmm...that makes no sense.

TJ had that problem for a little while and I just had to remind and reward- Rewards were small, we used a sticker chart as he loves loves loves stickers, but I don't see why you couldn't use something else. GL

roseroseroseroserose

I am a teacher and she's not going to get thrown out of school for an accident.  Come on.  We HAVE to educate everyone. 

The kids may say something, but that'll probably put a stop to it. 

I would just have her go potty before you go play.

kaydee_2008

i dont see why you would spank a child for having an accident!

That being said, if you know she will poop when she is playing outside try putting her on the potty before you go out.

mswestbrook22

Well, you spank because you have to see what works.  And I don't think they are accidents; they are intentional.  I just don't know how to get it in her head that it is a no-no and that when her tummy starts to hurt, go to her teacher and ask to go potty.  Or to run and tell me before she does it.

roseroseroseroserose

Have you ever had so much fun that you forgot to do something or lost track of time? That's what's happening to your dd. Tell her "we can't go play til you sit on the potty."

kellnbri

Unfortunately your punishments for her accidents could actually be the cause of them.  She should not feel ashamed or embarrassed.  Once she is in school and surrounding by lots of other children I doubt this will happen as frequently.  Have you talked to her pedi??  Maybe there is something wrong and she is not able to hold it. 

mswestbrook22

Well, I am for SURE the spankings are not the problem.  She was in Pre-K last year...and this happened almost on a daily basis..whether she was in the classroom or outside playing.  We went to a pedi one time and the told me to put her on the B.R.A.T diet, which I did.  I did not see a change.  This happens at home when she is playing....at my parents..  I feel that it is laziness to take the time to go to the bathroom; but have no idea how you'd break them of that and make them understand to go to the potty when the urge is there.

kellnbri

Is she not able to t hold it to make it to the potty??  I taught kindergarten for 6 years and NEVER had a student with this issue.  This would be a big red flag to me that something was going on in the home or there is some developmental issues.  Either she is having trouble controlling her bowels, she is not making the connections, or there is some abuse. 

kada626

Have you asked her why she poops her pants? Does she just forget because she is having fun? I suggest taking her back to the pedi, a different pedi, or a therapist. There has to be either a mental or physical reason behind it.

I know that everyone parents different but I highly suggest you google why you shouldn't spank your kids. It distracts from solving the problem & only makes the child scared of you. 

neverblushed

Is the poop solid/formed (like play-doh) or is it runny (like yogurt)?

If the pediatrician put her on the BRAT diet, I'm guessing the doctor thinks she is having problems with diarrhea.  The BRAT diet is great for getting a kid back on track after a stomach virus, but it won't "cure" chronic diarrhea, so it's no wonder it didn't work. 

Any way you slice it, you need expert help with this problem.  If your daughter's poop is solid, I think you have an emotional/behavioral problem on your hands.  If the poop is runny, you could have a serious physical problem to deal with.  Either way, I would urge you to push your pediatrician for a better answer.  If your daughter really, truly cannot control her bowels, or really doesn't want to at age 5, that's not normal.

mswestbrook22

Exactly..everyone parents differently.  So if I feel she needs a spanking; that's what I'll do.  If I feel I need to go another route, then I'll go that other route.  And it does not make a child scared of you for giving them a spanking.  For them to be scared, one would have to be "beating" their child; which I do not do.  So thanks everyone with concerns on spankings. 

mswestbrook22

I did ask her last night why she did it in the classroom.  She told me because this specific girl that would be her friend and turn around the next day and tell her they werent friends.  And would also hit on her.  I asked why on the playground and she said  because she couldn't make it to the bathroom.  Either way, I'll just have to keep working with her I guess hoping that she'll put 2 and 2 together to go to the potty.

neverblushed

Hey there -- I know a lot of people jumped on you about the spanking, which is not what you're asking about.  However, a number of people gave you good advice and didn't question your decision to spank, and you kind of ignored all this advice as well.

I'm not sure what kind of answer you were looking for in response to your question.  I don't think there's a "potty training trick" that you can easily use to snap her out of this.  If you have only used punishments to deter her from having accidents, maybe try rewards for making it to the potty on time. Punishment clearly hasn't worked. However, I REALLY think that this is not a problem that can be solved by a sticker chart.

If I were in your situation, I would not be satisfied with the pediatrician's answer of "Try the BRAT diet."  I'd go back and push for a more complete answer before you do any rewards or punishments.  There are many things that cause chronic diarrhea.