wwyd?

Samidez

So I joined a pre-natal yoga class last month and low & behold, my ex-sister in law had joined it also. We haven't spoken in over 10 yrs because our lives obviously moved on separately. She then asked me to be her 'friend' in fb so that we had a way to communicate. (nothing special, just "are you going to class" kinda stuff)

So today my brother shows up at my place to 'discuss' it. He's not a fb user, but his 'current' wife is and so I guess she's been checking my page out and saw the 'ex' ask me on my wall if I was going to class last night. 

So big bro tells me that if I don't quit that yoga class he won't have anything to do with me or my child again for 'hanging out' with his ex. (Believe me...hanging out is not nearly the way I'd describe it!)

I told him to forget it. It's my class too, and he should know me well enough to know I wouldn't talk about him/his family etc...But it's my life and you can't control who I talk to. Now my father isn't talking to me because I've "upset the family" by disrespecting my bro's wishes. 

 comments?

Johnna&Ralph

He sounds like he's being a little childish... or maybe his new wife is. I would just reassure him that you won't be bringing the ex to any family events, and that you will continue to enjoy your class.

KacieLeigh

Um, you can't help that she's in your class.  You could defriend her on facebook and tell her your phone number instead so she can text you - but I still don't even know that I'd do that.  It's a prenatal yoga class...you can't help who else is in there!

lizrenee06

be prepared to flame...

BOO-HOO!

family should quit crying! as you even stated, she is someone you havent spoken to in 10 years. this woman has obvioulsy moved on, considering she is pregnant! its not like ya'll stayed close & are doing something to intentionally p!ss off the family. sounds like brother's new wife is jealous....

prneyes3

I would still go to the class. I probably would not be friends with her on facebook, but that's just my opinion.

Becky262

Good for you!  Your brother needs to grow up and your father needs to stay out of it.  And if your brother isn't over his ex 10 years and another marriage later, then his drama isn't your problem

I might un-friend the ex on FB, but def keep going to yoga class 

Bellabella483

lizrenee06:

be prepared to flame...

BOO-HOO!

family should quit crying! as you even stated, she is someone you havent spoken to in 10 years. this woman has obvioulsy moved on, considering she is pregnant! its not like ya'll stayed close & are doing something to intentionally p!ss off the family. sounds like brother's new wife is jealous....

This. 100%

Samidez

Love the flamin' post! That's how I feel. My bro himself told us all his ex was pregnant right before I announced mine. (we're 12 days apart). So he gets his info about her elsewhere...not from me! If we weren't both pregnant, I wouldn't have run into to her.

btw: His current wife of 8 yrs deleted me as a friend on fb because of it all. I got told this today by my bro. I think I was supposed to be hurt and insulted but secretly, it pleased me.

lizrenee06

Samidez:

btw: His current wife of 8 yrs deleted me as a friend on fb because of it all. I got told this today by my bro. I think I was supposed to be hurt and insulted but secretly, it pleased me.

REALLY!? help me understand something, this woman is over the age of 15, right?!

ZAngel

Are they still in High School?  Seriously... grow up!  I would tell my brother to get a life and stop worrying about mine and who I talk to.  He needs to get over it.  You aren't talking to her just to get back at his wife.  I sense some serious insecurities.  Tell them all they need to snap out of it and start acting more mature.  If something this stupid will get in between your relationship, I think they have some serious issues that need to be dealt with. 

Samidez

Thanks everyone. This is all how I've felt about it all day. I do plan to continue with the yoga classes. I paid for a session after all! I did consider removing the ex from my fb but realized that plan was a waste of time when the current wife deleted me anyways. I never considered giving the ex my phone number because I didn't think it would be good to have that close of a relationship. I figured fb was waaaay more casual.

Believe it or not, my bro is in his 40's and current wife is 38! Frightening I know! Thanks again for comments.

LiebeMama

I think he is being absurd. My DH is friends with his Ex's brother, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

bandwife

That sounds really petty of them. Isn't this supposed to be your time and about you?

I recall a post a while back about a SIL of yours that sounds like a bit of a nightmare. Is this the wife of the brother? 

Maybe they do just need reassurance that the ex is not going to become your BFF.

I'm in Vancouver too and went to a drop-in prenatal yoga class a while back. Need to get my act together and go back. It was very relaxing and nice to be around other bellied folk. 

Samidez

Bandwife: You have a good memory! Yes, wife told me to get used to my legs being fat cuz they are going to stay that way. IMO: It all dates back to an argument she had with my mom over something stupid...and I came to my mom's defense. Wife didn't like it and she's never been pleasant or polite since. Yoga class is in nvan. Funny thing is, I'm not a reliable attendee to that class even! Think I've been maybe 4 times instead of the possible 15ish!

Honeybunny01

I'm pleased for you that she deleted herself off the friends list. And if you want to keep her on the fb friend's list, then thats your choice. The brother is probably not over her and the wife probably knows it. DUN DUH DUN!!!!!! Oh well, insecurities is a b*atch. Good luck with the prenatal yoga classes and your pregnancy. 

bandwife

Samidez:

Bandwife:  Funny thing is, I'm not a reliable attendee to that class even! Think I've been maybe 4 times instead of the possible 15ish!

I went to one downtown back in early July... have not been since! I am so bad but things keep coming up, now we're moving, yadda, yadda. I have promised myself I will start going regularly once we are moved into our new place in mid-September.

While I like the yoga I am also there to meet other neighborhood moms who will be on mat leave at the same time. Need to get on that!

Good luck with the family situation. 

 

acherryfamily

acherryfamily

Samidez:

btw: His current wife of 8 yrs deleted me as a friend on fb because of it all. I got told this today by my bro. I think I was supposed to be hurt and insulted but secretly, it pleased me.

 Once he said this I would've said woohoo.

Beaming_Bride

This is basically just a reiteration of what PP have already said, but 1) it's been a decade; 2) obviously she has moved on; and 3) you didn't plan to take the class with her.  Unless she did something really heinous 10 years ago (i.e. cheated on your brother while using meth and kicking puppies), your family needs to grow up.

KimberlyJean

prneyes3:

I would still go to the class. I probably would not be friends with her on facebook, but that's just my opinion.

ITA with this. Unfriend her out of respect for your brother and new SIL and as a means to compromise, but continue going to class. It's not always easy to find one that you like and that is convenient for your schedule. You have every right to go.

Other than that your brother is being an overbearing azzhat by telling you how to run your life and threatening to cut out his niece/nephew if you don't bend to his will, and your dad needs to butt out.

lbachelot

That is crazy!  I am FB friends with my DH's ex-wife and talk to her a couple of times a week via text or phone.  They do have a child together so I see how it might be a little different but really? Give me a break!  We are all adults!