SO: from do you look back?

Mrs.Babbsy

Do you look back at your time TTC and fertility treatments and think that went fast? and have a hard time feeling those emotions?

 I was sitting here the other night, yes I remember the treatments, but can't remember what it felt like to be disappointed every month, because these girls feel soooo right and this is what the wait was for.

 I mean seriously, I can't even think about those emotions anymore.

 

kimarino13

I definitely think it went fast, but that's because I started with an RE a year ago this month.  I crammed so many cycles, surgeries, MRIs, etc in a year's time, and now that I look back, it flew by

But the emotions/pain... oh man.  I remember that clearly, and think I always will.  

tina623

I don't feel it anymore. 

I know that when IVF 1&2 were disasters that I had to leave work and spent the day bawling in bed but I don't remember how it felt.  I remember crying, and the needles and the anxiety but not the feeling of it.  I think it's because I refuse to bring it along on the journey I have ahead with my babies.  I suffered, I succeeded and I'm happy

tnkrbl21

looking back on everything from my first mc to now it all seems like soooo long ago and then it also feels like it just went so fast.  The feelings of utter disappointment and despair defintely lessened when I wa pg bc the boys were so real and right there. 

I'm having a hard time with how fast my pg went.  Crazy right!  It just took so long to get pg, and then I spent so much time worrying about the pg having a positive outcome that I wish I could just have it all back for alittle longer to enjoy.

Mrs.Babbsy

I am bitter about not being able to enjoy my pregnancy for sure.

cjsbdl

I still feel every second of it. I lived with IF for three years and lost three babies in the process...it's not something I've been able to let go, and I'm not sure I ever truly will. Don't get me wrong...I am so incredibly grateful that I will be a mother soon, something I wasn't sure would ever happen. But no, it does not seem like that time went by quickly for me. And I still live with the sting of it, although the pain is obviously not acute as it was then.

epphd

It doesn't feel like it went fast to me!! It was long and horribly painful.  But now that I am pregnant I know that there is no way to *truly* recall the fear, the pain, the bewilderment of still being in the trenches. It's a luxury that I never expected to have. 

And I think it's so important to know that our experience as pregnant women or parents after IF is fundamentally different than that of women who are still struggling.  We will always have our scars, but (barring any tragedies) we will always have made it to this side. 

 

 

Mrs.Babbsy

Epphd beautifully said!

skoorbnibor

then you are a very lucky girl. : )

Mrs.Babbsy

skoorbnibor:

then you are a very lucky girl. : )

 I must be:) I remember it, I just don't feel it.

 I do get jealous when people get pregnant so fast, so I guess that still counts and i want to throatpunch the lady across the hall because she goes downstairs every hour to smoke. Who smokes in high risk unit, butthole!

epphd

Thanks Babbs

MrsBee10

For me, it was a conscious decision to try and leave those emotions behind. I really wanted to focus on this pregnancy and just be a normal pregnant girl after everything we went through. However, I still find that I am different than those who have never experienced IF. It changes you for sure.

 

 

cjsbdl

epphd:

And I think it's so important to know that our experience as pregnant women or parents after IF is fundamentally different than that of women who are still struggling.  We will always have our scars, but (barring any tragedies) we will always have made it to this side. 

 

 

I think this is an important point, and I want to make sure it doesn't seem as though I think the lingering pain of my infertility is ANYTHING compared to those who are still struggling.

epphd

cjsbdl:

epphd:

And I think it's so important to know that our experience as pregnant women or parents after IF is fundamentally different than that of women who are still struggling.  We will always have our scars, but (barring any tragedies) we will always have made it to this side. 

 

 

I think this is an important point, and I want to make sure it doesn't seem as though I think the lingering pain of my infertility is ANYTHING compared to those who are still struggling.

Exactly

FreeSpirits

I think it's important for me to remember some of those emotions to truly feel blessed right now.  I think that those who have suffered from TTTC and IF that it makes us stronger women and great mothers.  We went through so much mental and physical pain to get where we are today.  Now we have the chapter in our lives that we worked so hard for getting pregnant, staying pregnant and giving birth to our precious gifts.

qtpa2t

No, I don't think that went fast at all.  And I'd have a better time enjoying my pregnancy if I could feel in the clear, but I'm not.  I feel like I'm holding on by a thin thread at best.  It stings a little less seeing pregnant women now, and perhaps if I weren't still having problems, I'd feel better, but I still feel broken and not normal.

myturnin09?

I don't think it was short compared to the amount of time I've been PG.  I was actually saying to DH the other day that I'm kind of mad that this PG has flown by as quickly as it has b/c it feels like a blink compared to the amount of time it took to get here...granted we were "only" 2 years, and I know lots of people wait MUCH longer, but those two years feel like an eternity compared to how fast these 9 months have gone by.  I have enjoyed this so much, and I think in part b/c of what I/we went through to get here, and it's sad in a way that it's ending in 30-something days. 

As for the emotions, I don't remember what they feel like on a daily basis, but when I hear of a friend, aquaintence, family member, being PG easily and quickly it comes back--even though I'm PG now.  It just hurts and stings still that it took so long for us to get one and people are having 2 or 3 in the same amount of time with little effort.  That's when I remember the feelings of dispair and utter saddeness.

piccolina09

I do believe these are the babies I was meant to have, but I still remember my emotions and my heart breaks for anyone who is and will have to go through the hell of IF.