discipline worries and tantrums

hilltop

I am stuck in the middle of the terrible twos with DS. Recently, he pitches a fit over everything. So I thought the answer was to be stricter. This has not worked at all. I have also been spanking him on the hand. Spanking kind of works but after i spank him i have noticed an odd reaction. A minute or two after spanking him I sometimes notice that he is spanking himself on the hand and telling himself no-no. I am frustrated and do not know what to do. Part of me feels like I am failing as a parent and part of me feels like he is just two. Help me. What do you do to keep your two year old under control.

abpdjs

i pick and choose my battles.  just depends on what he is doing.  for things that he is doing just for a reaction, i mostly ignore and he quits.  i just literally go on about my business like i don't see anything he is doing (as long as he is safe, lol).  for things that i can redirect his attention to what i want him to do, i do that.  i.e.: if he goes for  a "no touch" cabinet.....i redirect him to the cabinets he can play in.  i reserve timouts for biting or hitting out of anger after i have already given him a warning not to hit or bite and i tell him to give gentle touches.  if he does it again i put him in a two minute timeout.  i have not had to spank as of yet.

Gorillakisses15

I am kind of in the same boat my DD is 2 1/2 and she does not listen to ANYTHING we tell her and I feel like a total failure because we are both teachers that deal with kids yet cannot figure out our own...  We use time out and spank.  Nothing we do has an effect.  At this point I feel like it is a wast of time to do either and I really hate spanking her.  I almost want to ignore her behavior but I think that it will be even worse and I have a 9 month old that takes the brunt of a lot of her bad behaviors.  I have tried taking things away, making her give up fun time, sitting in time out in different places.  None of it works.  I have no answers but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  They cant do this until they are 12 right?

Jelliebean1982

Try reading Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood.  It's incredible.  It's all about how to give your toddler choices so that they feel like they have more control.  We rarely ever have temper tantrums anymore. 

jlw2505

I am reading Love and Logic and its great.  It takes a lot about giving choices.  I know, hard at times at this age but you can do it.  Give your child choices that you can live with, redirect.  I don't beleive in spanking as it doesn't teach the anything other than they will get hit if they do something you don't agree with.  Time outs with a good talk about why after work great.  As others said - pick and choose your battles, ignore behaiovors when you think it is just an attention getting.