Anyone have a DH that will be/is a SAHD?

kds

My DH was laid off in Jan and has been working P/T in retail, but when the baby is born he will be SAH.  Unless of course, he is able to land a job that he actually enjoys/is in his field.  DH has literally changed only 1 diaper in his whole life, so I'm in search of some baby care references for him.  I bought a couple of books geared towards men for him today, but I'm looking for any other suggestions.  I don't doubt that he'll do an excellent job though.  He's very good with young kids, but just hasn't been around too many babies.  He is already d-amn good house-husband!  If he's half as good at parenting, I'm going to have it made

Any advice for me?  I've already tried telling him how tired he will probably be by the end of the day and I'll try my best to be ready to give him a break when I get home. 

Irish_gal

I could have written your post!! My DH was laid off in January, and when it came time for me to go back, (late May) I was really hesitant. He had never changed a diaper...ever!! Now, my LO is almost 5 months old, and LOVES her time with daddy. We each have special things we do with her. I always give her bath, and daddy plays with her when she has extra energy.

I always try to go the extra mile and do things before I head off to work to help out with the housework. Even if its throwing the dishes in the dishwasher as I run out of the house, I do something small before I leave in the morning, and ensure he gets alone time when I get back. If we need to go to the store, he goes. If we get take out, he goes by himself to get it.

My DH isn't the book type, although its a great idea. He just kinda went with it, and has done an amazing job. Its understanding and not taking him forgranted that has really sustained our marriage. Good Luck to you both!! 

EastCoastBride

I think a majority of parenting is just jumping in and doing it and learning it.  My DH had never changed a diaper EVER before DS was born, and while in the hospital, jumped right in and figured out how to do it.  And he's been amazing ever since.  I read the books, pass on info I think is important, but it's amazing to me the intuition that he has about DS and how much he voices what he thinks is the right way - and how spot on I find his advice to be.

abpdjs

dh is not a sahd but he is a killer daddy to Carson.  from day one i had dh doing diapers, bottles, and bed routines  - both of us work full time.  he now thanks me for having him so involved from day one b/c he has an amazing bond with Carson.

i guess what i am trying to say is his knowledge of baby comforting and caring will just kick in and become better and better the more he does it.  there really is no science to it, dh had never changed a diaper before and he changed all the diapers in the hospital.  try not to worry about dh's capabilties, he'll figure it out.  gl!

Kris&Amy

My DH is home with DD while I'm at work, but he works 3rd shift. He had no experience with babies and had never changed a diaper. To my surprise, DH was the one who changed all of DD's diapers in the hospital because I was stuck in bed from my c-section. I figured DH would be good with DD, but I never expected him to be that good! I also used my time on maternity leave to help show him some tips on caring for DD and he's done a wonderful job, even when he's super tired from working the night before.
My advice would be to just be supportive and if he's doing things the way you wouldn't do, don't try to correct him on them unless they're clearly not working.
Good luck with everything!

Bella427

My DH was laid off 9 months ago and has been a SAHD doing freelance work at night ever since.  It's worked out really well for us.  My daughter loves being with her dad and I enjoy not having to rush to get to daycare every morning.  She doesn't get sick as often either.  There's a book called The Expectant Father that has several follow up books from the same guy that are really good.  The author's name is Armin Brotman? I think.  But really, whether you're male or female, most of us make it up as parents as we go along.  You'll both be fine!

jc&cat

January must have been a tough time for layoffs since that is when my DH was let go. I was still home on mat leave so we decided he would be a SAHD when I went back to work and that is our situation now. It has been GREAT! When it's your own child, I think the care comes pretty naturally. My DH used to brag that he had changed 1 diaper in his whole life but that changed very quickly when DS came along. I too would recommend the expectant father book by Armen Brot. Really good book. If you DH is going to be a hands on dad from the start, I think he will do just fine. Please PM message me if you want to chat more about it. It was the best decision we made and we're so happy with the arrangement. GL.

nova@spamcop.net

DH has been a house husband for years, so it was the only choice for him to be the SAHD.  DH is not into books.  He wasn't much into the baby during pregnancy, but after DS was born, he was incredibly supportive and helpful.  He was very, very stressed out by the first month, and he's noise sensitive, so when the baby cries, it really bothers DH.  But he's developed callouses on his brain, as he says, so it's not so bad anymore.  DH is great with the baby, but he needs support and encouragement from me.

We have an agreement that I won't work late and I won't dilly dally on the way home from work.  When I get home at 5, I take the baby, and I do most of the child care on weekends.  DH cooks dinner, and we do grocery shopping as a family.  We try to split the child care duties as much as possible and help each other out where we can.  

Talk openly with your DH about your expectations.  Don't let things fester because with the stress of a newborn, things can blow up really fast, even little stupid things.