NTR: NEED ADVICE PLEASE!

jessicada76

I have a dear dear friend that has a WONDERFUL family!  She has a son about the same age as Paige and a wonderful husband.  They have been married several years.  She has expressed to me since her son was born that the sexual relationship between her and her DH has not been the same - mainly she is having low libido - and I can sympathize with that!....lol.  Well, she has come to me over the last week and told me she has a male friend that is texting her and asking her some pretty intimate questions about her sex life with her DH - she is being totally honest with him too!!!!!  I was a little shocked!  I can't imagine talking to one of my male friends about the intimacy between DH and I.  Her reasoning for doing this is - so she says - this guy is helping her by introducing her to new sexual things that she can do with her husband - she says "Kind of like getting into a man's head".  Ok my question is - why can't she just be open to her husband and ask him what he wants instead of going to this male friend for sex advice.  Would you go to a male friend for sex advice and do you think this is OK that she is doing this? Isn't it like they are having phone sex via texting?  I am worried it is going to hurt her marriage not help it!  What can I say to her?  TIA!

MamaNikki

Tell her to get a Cosmopolitan magazine, and either HBO or Cinemax!  She can learn everything she needs to know from those!!!  lol.

Seriously, I agree with you.  Sounds like an excuse to me. 

Ask her if she'd like it if her husband was the one "sexting" with a female friend of his?  Hmmmm???

jessicada76

MamaNikki:

Tell her to get a Cosmopolitan magazine, and either HBO or Cinemax!  She can learn everything she needs to know from those!!!  lol.

Seriously, I agree with you.  Sounds like an excuse to me. 

Ask her if she'd like it if her husband was the one "sexting" with a female friend of his?  Hmmmm???

I asked her this - she said she wouldn't care as long as it helped her sex life - I highly doubt she would REALLY feel that way - I don't know I just consider this CHEATING in my book!  Am I alone on that?

acppa

I would say that she's getting more out of these conversations than a few new techniques to try with her DH.  

IMO a new thing to try isn't going to help with a low libido but getting turned on by the conversation about sex will.  Tell her to get HBO and watch a few Real Sex episodes with her DH.  That should get the lines of communication open.  

acppa

Forgot to add.  What's she going to tell her DH when he asks where all the new moves came from?  

abpdjs

jessicada76:

MamaNikki:

Tell her to get a Cosmopolitan magazine, and either HBO or Cinemax!  She can learn everything she needs to know from those!!!  lol.

Seriously, I agree with you.  Sounds like an excuse to me. 

Ask her if she'd like it if her husband was the one "sexting" with a female friend of his?  Hmmmm???

I asked her this - she said she wouldn't care as long as it helped her sex life - I highly doubt she would REALLY feel that way - I don't know I just consider this CHEATING in my book!  Am I alone on that?

no you are not alone, i am on board with you.  if i found out dh was sharing or getting "advice" from other women "friends" i would be very upset and not to mention probably take a long time to trust him again.

did you ask her how she would feel if her dh was engaging in this type of convo with another woman?  what would her dh do if he found this info on her phone?

i dunno, there are soooo many other ways to go about fixing your sex life without involving a "friend" of the opposite sex.  imo, she is crossing the line.

jessicada76

acppa:

Forgot to add.  What's she going to tell her DH when he asks where all the new moves came from?  

LOL!  That is a good question!  Will have to approach her with this one!

abpdjs

MamaNikki:

Tell her to get a Cosmopolitan magazine, and either HBO or Cinemax!  She can learn everything she needs to know from those!!!  lol.

you mean Skinemax?  lmao!

watch porn, get some toys, get liquered up, talk about it.........SOMETHING........but do it with your dh, not another man.

dnagal

OOOh, not liking the sound of this at all.  AND I bet she's not giving you the whole story either. 

marriedchick06

abpdjs:

jessicada76:

MamaNikki:

Tell her to get a Cosmopolitan magazine, and either HBO or Cinemax!  She can learn everything she needs to know from those!!!  lol.

Seriously, I agree with you.  Sounds like an excuse to me. 

Ask her if she'd like it if her husband was the one "sexting" with a female friend of his?  Hmmmm???

I asked her this - she said she wouldn't care as long as it helped her sex life - I highly doubt she would REALLY feel that way - I don't know I just consider this CHEATING in my book!  Am I alone on that?

no you are not alone, i am on board with you.  if i found out dh was sharing or getting "advice" from other women "friends" i would be very upset and not to mention probably take a long time to trust him again.

did you ask her how she would feel if her dh was engaging in this type of convo with another woman?  what would her dh do if he found this info on her phone?

i dunno, there are soooo many other ways to go about fixing your sex life without involving a "friend" of the opposite sex.  imo, she is crossing the line.

Agree with all of this!! I think she needs to be talking to her DH about this, not another man! If I found out DH was talking to another women about our sex life and trying to get advice, then I would have some major issues with that!

soontobecapek

i agree very much with you all, it's one thing to talk to a good friend about not having sex, not ok to text about having sex and how to do it..

jessicada76

Thanks for all the advice girls!  I don't want to hurt our friendship but I think she really needs to go out and really get sat down for a good talking.  Deep down I feel like she is wanting this other man - and whoever said it is probably right - she probably isn't telling me the whole story!

momofolivia

sounds fishy, and I have very close male friends.  I don't see myself texting them for advice.  I might have a conversation with him, but not texting.  crosses the line for some reason.

ecoppins

dnagal:

OOOh, not liking the sound of this at all.  AND I bet she's not giving you the whole story either. 

I feel this same way, but what if it is not quite like is sounds. Let's play devils advocate here. There is a difference between phone/text sex and tips. While I think communication with your dh is very important... What if he was saying things like "Men like mystery, and the occasional surprise. Try buying some new panties."