Biting issue at daycare

vagirl06

We are going through this now - DD is getting bit.  I'm curious to see what your daycare's policy is on biting and what steps they take to assist / help out the biter.

madhatter2003

They would call me as soon as she was bit, even though it never broke the skin or anything. They tried to keep my DD and the biter separate, and tried to intervene to prevent bites when they were playing together.  Eventually the other kid did get moved to another room as the problem grew to be more than just between my DD and him.

 

abpdjs

this happened for the first time to Carson about 3 weeks ago.  the biter was brand new to the class and apparently when he gets overstimulated he bites whomever is standing next to him.  the time Carson was bit they were lining up to come in from outside playing and my poor baby happened to be the one right there and got bit. Carson was not the only one bit that day either.  they put the biter in a "sit and watch" then the biter has to help take care of the bite (put an ice pack on the bite) and give hugs.  it has not happened since then and did not break the skin.  i believe the biter's parents are made aware. 

abpdjs

btw, if it was a continous thing and the same biter was biting him, i would be talking to the director on how to fix/change the situation.

jlw2505

Biting is a normal part of childhood and unfortunalty everyone goes through it.  My daycare does not do time outs but they do their version of taking the child away from the group and talking to them about the biting.  The kid that got bite gets lots of TLC and an incident report is written for both so the parents are aware.  Biting happens and there really is not a lot you can do about it other than to keep talking to the kids.  Kids bite out of frustratrion, teething, angry, wanting a toy that someone else has, and a million other reasons.  When they don't have the words to express how they feel, some kids bite.  Both of my kids have been bitten and have been the biters.  I don't agree with any daycare that kicks kids out for it.  The teachers can watch for the behavior but honestly, it typically happens super fast and sometimes with no warning.  Heck, my younger DD recently bite my older DD hard while about 10 adults and older kids were sitting right there with them - we were all playing, both girls were on my lap and my older DD reach over and sort of across my younger DD to get a toy and wow - it was a hard bite and there was nothing that could be done to stop it and my younger DD got a time out after- same basic way my daycare handles it.

DG1

Interesting. I was just over here to ask about a similar issue.

Our daycare's policy is to send a note home to the biter's parents and the bite-ee's parents.  That's it.  There's no limit, no kicking out for multiple offenses.  I'd guess they do some kind of time out or something for older kids, but we're still in the infant room, so IDK how you discipline a 12mo.

DS has gotten bitten four times in the last 2 weeks.  Never broke the skin, but left marks for a few days each time.  Always the same biter. (We're not supposed to know who it is, but she's the only other kid in the room with enough teeth to make the marks we saw.) I don't know if she bites other kids or if she just has it out for DS.

I'm aware that biting is normal and you can't flip out at the first (or even second or possibly third) offense.  I fully expect DS to be the biter at some point (so far, he only bites me. Nice, huh?) 

But on the other hand, when you have a repeat offender like that, she's creating an unsafe environment for the other children.  I should have a reasonable expectation that my child won't regularly be bitten at daycare, you know? 

I'm just not sure where to draw the line.  I feel like I should be talking to the director, but I don't get a great vibe from her.  And really, what could she do? They won't kick the other kid out. (Nor am I sure they should.) On the other side of the argument, DS has friends at this daycare, the providers know him, and it's one of the most affordable places around.

In any case, I'm anxious to see more replies.

momofolivia

DD has been bitten 4 times in two weeks as well, all from different kids.  It usually happens out of frustration.  Our daycare writes up an incident report for both parents.  If your child bites 3x, then they are suspended.  Luckily, DD is a hitter!

I am a pretty mellow parent about these things.  They never broke her skin, and I get that these things happen.  But DD has started play biting at home and with so many in such a short time, I got concerned. 

I spoke with the asst. director and she said they are putting an additional  teacher in the room.  I don't know how well that will work, like pp said - it happens very quickly. 

Libramom2b

jlw2505:

Biting is a normal part of childhood and unfortunalty everyone goes through it.  My daycare does not do time outs but they do their version of taking the child away from the group and talking to them about the biting.  The kid that got bite gets lots of TLC and an incident report is written for both so the parents are aware.  Biting happens and there really is not a lot you can do about it other than to keep talking to the kids.  Kids bite out of frustratrion, teething, angry, wanting a toy that someone else has, and a million other reasons.  When they don't have the words to express how they feel, some kids bite.  Both of my kids have been bitten and have been the biters.  I don't agree with any daycare that kicks kids out for it.  The teachers can watch for the behavior but honestly, it typically happens super fast and sometimes with no warning.  Heck, my younger DD recently bite my older DD hard while about 10 adults and older kids were sitting right there with them - we were all playing, both girls were on my lap and my older DD reach over and sort of across my younger DD to get a toy and wow - it was a hard bite and there was nothing that could be done to stop it and my younger DD got a time out after- same basic way my daycare handles it.

Well said - and this is the same way my daycare handles it.

soccermom-to-be

I personally think that my level of concern would depend on the age of my DD.  My DD is now 2.5 and had her first biting incident a month ago, which is shocking to me since she's been in daycare for over a year.

I am not upset that she was bit (it happens) and I liked the way that her daycare handled it (note to me, note to biter's parent's, biter was taken out of the situation and to the office to discuss why biting is wrong with the Director).  What would upset me, however, is if this same child kept biting over and over and nothing was done about it. 

At 2.5-3 years old I just don't believe that kids should be biting and that it should be considered acceptable behavior.  My DD is one of the youngest in her class and the boy that bit her was over 3.  Sorry but he needs to learn that it's not right at that age.

 

Taylor44

My son's classroom is having this problem at the moment.  My son has been bitten probably 10 times in the last 2 months; and once it was twice in one day.  None have been bad bites or broken the skin.  I get an incident report each time.  But the DC teachers are not permitted to tell me who is the bitter, so, I don't know if it is the same child or not.  In our handbook, the DC does have a policy, but I think they deal with this case by case.  Luckily, my son hasn't picked up this bad habit, or retaliated when bitten.  It is common with children, but obviously, you can't ignore it either.  Definitely talk to the teachers and the director.

DG1

soccermom-to-be:

I personally think that my level of concern would depend on the age of my DD.  My DD is now 2.5 and had her first biting incident a month ago, which is shocking to me since she's been in daycare for over a year.

I am not upset that she was bit (it happens) and I liked the way that her daycare handled it (note to me, note to biter's parent's, biter was taken out of the situation and to the office to discuss why biting is wrong with the Director).  What would upset me, however, is if this same child kept biting over and over and nothing was done about it. 

At 2.5-3 years old I just don't believe that kids should be biting and that it should be considered acceptable behavior.  My DD is one of the youngest in her class and the boy that bit her was over 3.  Sorry but he needs to learn that it's not right at that age.

 

Agreed. I almost think it would be easier to deal with for an older kid (I'd be much more comfortable raising a stink, because I think that disciplinary action is very appropriate and useful).  With 10ish month olds, it's a lot tougher.