Reality check, please!

Julia-Henry · August 2009

Good morning, Ladies!

I'm trying to decide if this is just pregnancy hormones, or if it's reasonable for me to be a little bit upset. Please tell me what you think.

THe cleaning lady found my (hidden, but obviously not well) sonogram pics of baby this morning. So she brought it to me and said "are you pregnant?". I did not react well. I was completely surprised and take aback since we're not telling until I get out of the first tri.

Anyway, I'm upset that she asked about personal stuff. I know she's going to see things, but I somehow expect her to not say anything. I don't think the world revolves around my pregnancy or anything, but I was just surprised and felt very uncomfortable.. I'm sure she just wanted to be happy for us, but I felt really put on the spot and exposed.

Am I being unreasonable? Please tell me if I am.

Did you ever have to deal with people finding out before you were ready to tell? If so, how did you respond? Any tips? Thanks!

gobigblue · August 2009

i will say that was "ballsy" of her to approach you w/ that. but no, no one ever found out if we didn't tell them. just think, you only have 1-2 wks before your 2nd tri and you can joyfully spread the word. i'm sure no one else will find out. i would let this one slide although does that mean she was snooping or digging in places she shouldn't have been?

ToshaGirl · August 2009

How hidden were they? Did she have to really dig to find them? I'd be more concerned about that if there's an issue there.

That is ballsy of her. But for whatever reason she felt comfortable doing it (or is devoid of tact).

And no one will find out anything unless we tell them.

Laura Cochran · August 2009

If they were hidden, I think that was quite an overstep for her. In a job like that, I'm sure she comes across private things all the time and she should be discreet. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Does she think you were hiding them from everyone else but really wanted her to be the first to know?

BrideBuddies · August 2009

Tough one.

I guess if she was just going about her job and stumbled on the pics in a drawer or something, I can't really blame her for commenting about it. I'd be a lot more uncomfortable if she found porn pictures of you and your hubby!

What if she spotted a pregnancy test while taking out your bathroom garbage? Or spotted newly purchased baby clothes or maternity wear while putting away your laundry? Kind of falls into that same scenario. I'd be more weirded out about her finding a preg test, tho.

You do give up a little bit of your privacy when you ask someone to come into your home to do work. She just has access to more private areas of your home, than, say, a painter or an electrician would.

Yeah, maybe she shouldn't have said anything, but babies make people stupid sometimes. She may see you more as a friend than an employer and she's just happy for you and wanted you to know that. Or, she's a busybody! Either way, what's done is done.

Plus, as someone pointed out, you're getting pretty close to 2nd tri anyway. I guess I'd just let it roll.... the news is going to come out sooner or later, anyway.

carladillon · August 2009

I would have felt a little taken back to say the least and put on the spot. It is a very personal thing and I think you are not out of line to feel the way you do. Not knowing your relationship with her or her personality, it's hard to say, but I'm sure she meant nothing by it. People get very excited with pregnancies - whether you really know someone or not.

It's all okay though - take a deep breath...although it may feel like it, she did not steal your thunder. You still get the joy of sharing your wonderful news with your friends/family.

prazenjc · August 2009

i do think it is an unwritten rule for house cleaning people to not talk about what they find during the course of their job. however, i do agree w/you that she was likely just wanting to be happy for you, so i wouldn't hold it against her. i have had to tell more people at work than i wanted to b/c of travel restrictions and i normally travel a lot w/work.