WWYD: To wait or not to wait

Susie_Kisses

DH and I were married just over a year ago and although I wanted to wait a few years to ttc, the pregnancy bug hit me late last year.  I've been trying to get these thoughts out of my head but I really would like to get off my BC and just let nature take its course.  I'm not in a hurry, but at the same time, I'd love for us to take the next step. DH is coming around to the  idea and we talked about getting pregnant sometime late next year.  Besides for the reason of money (which you can never have enough of), I'm unsure if I should wait until I finish my MBA.  I am eight classes away and I'm trying to push myself to take two classes each semester so that I can graduate in December 2010.

 So I guess my question is did anyone here work full-time and also go to school (I'd probably only take one class at a time) while being pregnant or having an infant? I realize every pregnancy is different but I wonder if I will be okay conceiving next year and being pregnant during school or even finishing up my degree while I have a baby. 

 Should I just wait?

 Sorry for the long post.  TIA.

abpdjs

i worked full time and went to school full time (night program) while pregnant.  my last class was two weeks after Carson was born.  i only missed class the week he was born.  it is doable, just depends on your determination and i think it made my pregnancy go quickly.

katydid2007

How old are you?

AlisaS

katydid2007:

How old are you?

This. You are 25? What is the rush?

Snowy_Owl

I took a class while PG - I wasn't in a degree program and it was just for my own education.

I couldn't focus on it and ended up auditing it rather than taking it for credit.

I would HATE to be in school while pregnant & loathe it way more with a newborn.  You want to focus on being PG & your LO 100% and wont give a hoot about school.

I'd wait.

azuremama

Wait.  It's hard to work full-time while pg or with an infant.  I wouldn't tack going to school on top of that.  There's really no hurry, especially if your dh is not really ready for kids yet.

MKE6115

I work full time and I am in grad school, although I have not taken classes since having DD so I can not tell you what it is like with an infant. But it was hard being pregnant working full time and having a toddler. I got through it and will get through the next 2 years as well. If I had to do it all over again I would of gone to school first and then had kids but I did not know about the program until after DS was a year old so it was already to late. My classes are online which is the only way I think I would be able to get through it.

So to answer your question, wait, finish your degree and then have the baby. Or try to plan your pregnancy so you are due after you graduate, however things do not always work out the way you plan them. GL.

kamcfarlane

wait, finish your degree, and then have a LO. we were ready to have kids after i graduated from law school, but DH started law school that same year and we waited until he was done. there's no way we could have handled both and he wasn't even working. i'm trying to finish up the CPA now with a 9 month old and i'm kicking myself for not finishing it before DS arrived!

also - i had a high-risk pregnancy complete with bedrest and a preemie. rescheduling work was difficult enough, i can't imagine trying to reschedule school too!

good luck! 

abpdjs

i wanted to add that i did plan Carson around school.  the night of my last class my mom came and stayed with him until dh got home.  i would never want to be in school with an infant or a toddler for that matter. i was away from him that night about 2 hours max. i purposely got school out of the way before having kids.

jellybean529

I started my master's when my daughter was 7 months old and it's been just fine so far! I do my homework at night and while she naps. My degree program is completely online though, so that helps. GL!

DG1

Snowy_Owl:

You want to focus on being PG & your LO 100% and wont give a hoot about school.

I'd wait.

This.  I'd maybe be willing to finish up one class during the pregnancy, but I wouldn't want to take a full load and work and try to get ready for the baby.  And once the baby comes, forget it. You'll be too tired and not all that interested in anything else.

It's hard not to make them the center of your whole universe, you know?  I know I don't give two shts about work right now. It's just a paycheck that helps us give DS a nice environment to grow up in and seed his college fund.

Maybride2

I was pregnant most of my last year of grad school.  We planned it so that our child would be born - at the earliest - 1 month after I graduated.  I was also working full-time.

It was stressful, but doable.  But I would NEVER even consider doing it with a newborn or even a toddler.

Here's the deal - you've only got 24 hours in a day, and you've only got so much energy and brainpower to invest.  If you're trying to work full-time, go to school, be a wife, and be a mother........that's spreading yourself terribly thin, and fact is that you can't be 100% at all of those things and something is going to have to give.  What are you going to sacrifice on in order to get everything done in those 24 hours?

I typically don't believe in making my life way harder than it has to be.  Trying to go to school while working full-time while having an infant or toddler doesn't even make sense to me.

Wait.  Focus on finishing up school.  Do like we did and start trying 7 or 8 months from when you plan to graduate. 

momofolivia

i got pg one year into my MBA (evening classes) while working FT. 

The first trimester was rough - I was extremely tired and had a hard time focusing. 

The 2nd tri was easy - no problem. 

The 3rd tri - it was rogh mentally because I was only thinking about the baby.  I wanted to prepare and had no interest in class.

I had DD in December, took a few weeks, then did an independent study for one class while on maternity leave.  This was fairly difficult trying to juggle a newborn and a class, but I did well.

I had one class left - my capstone - when DD was 4-6 months old.  Hands down - the HARDEST 3 months of my and DH's life.  DH basically raised DD during this time.  We were BFing, so I was pumping at work, pumping at class, waking up with her throughout the night, spending 4-5 nights away from home. 

It is doable, but it is freaking hard and stressful.  If you do not have to do it, then don't.  Your DH MUST be on board.  He will have to carry more than his fair share while you are in school.

gypsywitch

Right now I work full time ( air force), have a 2 year old and go to school online, and am pregnant with #2. It can be challenging, and tiring but definately doable, so I wouldn't let school hold me back if having a baby is something you want to try right now. If DH is on board and you really want to I say get off the BCP and let nature do its thing. DH and I haven't been married quite a year yet and are having our first together ( DD31 from previous marriage)....so I don't think how long you've been married should affect your decision unless thats something that is important to you two, and not jsut something you think OTHER people think is important before having a baby.

yellowcar

I worked FT and went to school (one class a semester) up until I was about 6 mo. PG with DD (I finished a summer term, did not enroll for the fall term, was due at the beginning of Jan.).  My school was 35 miles away and I did not feel comfortable going to classes that far from home at 8+ months PG.

After my DD was born, spring semester was out (I ended up with a c-section) and then it was really really hard to start back up again.  I couldn't imagine leaving my little baby one night a week or more, plus I was breastfeeding and that adds a whole new dimension to being connected to your baby.  I also went back to work FT and there is very little time to study, write papers, etc. with an infant.  Yes, I know that people do it, but I was not going to sacrifice my time with my family.  I was 6 credits short of my M.Ed. and I figured I would never finish (there was a 7 year time limit and I was getting close).

I changed my mind when DD was almost 2 and reenrolled.  Every time I complained about my job, DH would ask, "when are you going to finish your masters???"  So I finally answered, "right now."  It was tough still to leave her, but DH was a wonderful support and it was so great to walk across that stage--even better to have a 2.5 year old cheering me on (now 4, she promises that she remembers me graduating, but I can't be sure!)

If I could have finished pre-children I would have--it would have made things much easier.  But it can be done even having young children.

Ms.Wax

DH said I had to finish school before we had a baby, and now that we have our little man, he was SO right!

I worked full-time and took 2 classes/semester while I was pregnant.  I finished my Master's in May and had our baby in July.  I had a very easy pregnancy, so it really was not a problem for me to finish school while I was pregnant.  I realize I was very lucky and this is not the case for everyone.

DS was a VERY demanding baby.  I cannot even imagine having to finish school after we had him.  Not only would I have not wanted to leave him (after being away from him all day), but it wasn't until he was 7 or 8 months old that I had ANY time to myself.  He was glued to me ALL. THE. TIME.  

Push yourself.  Finish in Dec. 2010.  Then have a baby.

MargieMom

I'd wait.  It's stressful, but do-able.  I just started back at grad school, at night, one class per semester...and I work 50-60 hrs a week.  It's hard.  I wish I would have just hunkered down and finished my classes before, I was so close!!...but DS was a SURPRISE and I took a leave of absence while pg and his first year.  Having a toddler, a job and a DH is exhusting enough - why stress yourself out on purpose?  Just my 2 cents.  GL!

Taylor44

While I feel that there is never a perfect time, and like you said, you will never have enough money, you must take the child and your family into consideration.  Having a child is wonderful, but it is also time consuming, and can be stressful at times.  It is hard for someone to give advice on this topic, because every situation is different.

jenny1980

You're young. I'd wait to finish the degree and spare yourself needless stress.

I had a pretty tough first trimester and felt pretty crappy through about week 16. It would have been near impossible for me to work and go to school. As it was, I had a tough time making it through a shortened (4 day) work week.