Update #2: Breast vs. Bottle

robynlesley

I read all your responses to my post yesterday and after seeing the pediatrician today, I've made a HUGE decision.

I'm not going to breastfeed. 

While it's true that I'm not giving it a chance. I HATE pumping and after thinking long and hard about this, I don't want to be tied to a machine every 2 hours for weeks and pay all this money for lactation consultants and feel so stressed that my son feels stressed. So I'm going to be a proud formula feeder and let my milk dry up.

I was formula fed and turned out OK. I have several friends who went this route (and several who breastfed) and for my own mental sanity and health, I've made this choice.

Some women may judge me. But my friends won't.

Now to figure out how to survive engorgement/and shutting down milk production. But I feel better about that and that I'll be able to heal.

edhid1

I am so happy for you that you made your decision.  I too, have made the decision to exclusively formula feed and do not feel guilty about it.  I know it will be the better choice for me. 

Good luck to you and let us know how you are feeling.  I would like to know how the engorgement/shutting down process goes as well.  I am not looking forward to it :-)

Feel better and heal well!  

 

 

daisydana

Glad you've made a decision that works for you.  As I said in my post to you earlier, I plan on breast and formula feeding together.  I don't want to rely too heavily on breast feeding in case it doesn't work out.  I have heard from too many women how difficult it can be.  No need to make yourself crazy.  Do what works for you and your family and don't let anyone judge you.  We won't either.

 

Skyler&Paisley

Reality is that we aren't all cut out to be milk machines!  Don't worry about your decision.  I made it to 6 months of pumping plus formula feeding since I never produced enough [at most only 1/2 of what she needed].  I quit because I couldn't take being tied to the machine.  I always had to be home every 3 hours in order to pump.  Yes, I work from home, so most of the time it wasn't an issue.  BUT when you finally start taking baby out with you and you become a slave to the pump, it just sucks! 

jennandjt

Good for you Robyn....you're right, your friends won't judge you and you have made a decision that is best for you which in turn is best for your son ....no one knows how they'll do BFing until they've tried, my bff loves it and hates using formula and my sil decided it wasn't working for her, pumped for a while and is now an eff.....I'm glad you are at peace with your decision...YAY!

carladillon

You know, just like birth, we can plan and hope for things to go a certain way - but ultimately it's up to our babies, isn't it?  I think it's important to be flexible throughout this whole experience - I'm glad to see you are being flexible and letting your little guy lead the way!

iluvtom

Feel good and proud of your decision, we love you Robyn

leffe1

iluvtom:

Feel good and proud of your decision, we love you Robyn

Ditto this

Sunsh1ne

You are a great mom and formula is the right decision for you and your baby!  Don't let anyone give you the side eye!!  I hope you continue to heal quickly

JenniferTCU

Robyn- NO ONE should judge you for the decision you've made. It's your decision- your body- your son. It's no one else's business what you decide to do. I am glad you made a decision. You probably feel so relieved!

jennasita

I've done both breast and bottle.  Either way, if it's right for you that's what matters most!  The best things to help ease the frustration of drying up are ice packs and tylenol. 

BrideBuddies

Ditto what Carladillo says.....

We can make all the advance planning in the world.   But when it doesn't work out like we planned, you have to adapt the plan and do what's best for you AND the baby.

ShannonLK

Robyn, it sounds like you are making the best decision for you and your baby.  That's all that matters!

I had to give up breastfeeding my 2nd after only a few weeks because it just wasn't working out.  He wasn't gaining weight so we went to formula and things went much better!

Hang in there!  You are doing a great job. 

stever

No judgment here!

I'm so proud of you Robyn! You keep doing what's best for you and your family!!!

ksek

JenniferTCU:

Robyn- NO ONE should judge you for the decision you've made. It's your decision- your body- your son. It's no one else's business what you decide to do. I am glad you made a decision. You probably feel so relieved!

 

I'm so glad you've made a decision you feel good about.  Its so crazy to me that there are moms out there that would judge other moms for FF!! Everyone of us is different, and no one solution is right for all. What's important is that you and your LO are happy and healthy.

Peppernut

No judgment here, you rock!  Besides, you did try it out, it just wasn't right for you.  I hope your decreased stress levels kick in immediately!

Gossip Girl

Good for you!  I'm glad you're feeling better about everything.  You are right that the baby will pick up on your stress and that would stink.  Keep up the good work!  I'm taking notes from you.

busybea

JenniferTCU:

Robyn- NO ONE should judge you for the decision you've made. It's your decision- your body- your son. It's no one else's business what you decide to do. I am glad you made a decision. You probably feel so relieved!

Ditto this ...

You know, in the beginning, I had it in my crazy mind that I was going to be the Super Duper BF Mom, but then LO had so much trouble at first that I just gave up.  Then he finally latched after 9 days but I had already started him on the formula and he was loving that!  Plus the BF just wasn't going to be enough for him anymore.  So I made the decision that I was going to do both and that the BF was going to be his "snack", like Doritos!  LOL 

robynlesley

I AM feeling so relieved. And my milk is only just coming in right now. But I haven't pumped since this morning and I'm decreasing my fluid intake (though not a huge amount since I'M dehydrated) and putting ice on my boobs. I may even buy cabbage leaves. LOL.

But Aaron is doing SO much better today. He's sleeping comfortably?and most importantly he's peed several times! 

My one SIL is what we call a "t-t witch" (slang for boob) and she'll judge. But my health is more important and so is my son's.

Feeling better now. Less like a failure.

KD288

I am so proud of you!!

kristin7701

Honestly, I think my biggest regret with my first was busting my a$$ trying to BF for so long. I was a wreck because DS was not gaining weight properly and I felt like I was failing him. DH was deployed so it wasn't like I had a voice of reason to calm me down. Finally after 4 months, I found out DS was allergic to dairy, eggs and peanuts and was reacting to my milk.

So that is my very long way of saying that I think you are making the right decision. BF is wonderful if it works out and makes Mama and Baby happy. Otherwise, sometimes it's not worth it. Take care of yourself! 

NewMrs07

No judgement here, you have to do what's best for your family. GL with everything and keep us posted!

Chandypants

I had difficulty breast feeding my now almost 3 year old. I had a c-section and could not even lift the pump in the middle of the night. After 3 weeks of pumping and repeatedly trying to breast feed her, holding her in my arms, with both of us crying, I decided to switch over to formula. This took a huge burden off of me, but it was hard whenever anyone brought it up. She is a healthy and happy girl and once I got past other people judging me... which does not help with the hormones that come with just having a baby... I realized it was the best decision for us and that was all that mattered. As a parent you have the right and obligation to make the right decisions for your family. Others always have an opinion..... I am pregnant again and will try again this time, but be confident in your decision. Also, I pumped less for a week rather than cutting it cold turkey, so my milk production slowly dried up, it still hurts this way, but was not as bad as some of the stories I have heard- and I gave her the breast milk so it was still a win-win. The only thing I wish I would have tried was the plastic nipple over your breast - I had 2 moms tell me this worked for them.. Maybe give it a shot? Congrats, it is the most amazing thing you will ever do.

M.Amy

leffe1:

iluvtom:

Feel good and proud of your decision, we love you Robyn

Ditto this

 

Ditto Ditto

rmacb

You have to do what is best for you and your family and that is what is most important.  I didn't breast feed with my DD and I won't with this new little one either.   It is a very personal decision that is frankly no one's business but your own.

Good Luck!

Laura Cochran

Robyn,

 

No one can decide what is best for you and your child better than you. You sound so much happier now that you have made this decision and a happy and sane mama is the healthiest thing in the world for your little one.

 I'll never understand why some see motherhood as a competition.

Kat28655

No judgement here. You've made the decision that is best for you and your child. Good for you! Lord knows no one needs any more stress in their lives!! Good for you!!!

fauxshelley

Robyn,

I am so happy for you. You are absolutely right that your friends will not judge you. You made a decision that is right for you and Aaron. 

I have to say I tried to bf Pumpkin, and it worked for a few weeks, but it didn't work out very well.  No one ever mentions that it hurts!  My nipples were raw cracked and even bled.  I would cringe w/ pain every time she wanted to eat.  So much for the supposed bonding experience.  My milk supply dwindled and I had to supplement with formula anyway.  It was the best thing for both of us.  After I made the switch, I NEVER regretted it.  

wendylea73

I agree completely!! I have planned the whole time to exclusively formula feed and don't feel bad about it. We have a blended family of 5 (with the baby when he gets here) and I do almost all of the cooking, cleaning, errands, shopping, bills, and will be going back to work full-time after 6 wks. My SO will be out of work and home for the winter (he works a seasonal job) so I hate to sound selfish, but breastfeeding was just one additional responsibility that I was not willing to take on. Even pumping would be time consuming and stressful and I feel confident that formula is not going to hurt my LO.    

maschmidt16

Good for you, Robyn! I am glad to hear you and LO are doing better.

You just have to ignore the militants out there that like to judge other people. Most of us just try to do the best we can and we should never like a failure for not following some sort of "rule book".

MrsKLS

No judgement here.....DD was 100% formula fed and she is perfectly healthy and off the charts in height!!!! I wasn't sure I even wanted to breast feed in the 1st place and then my milk never came in so it was a non-issue.

You need to do what's right for you and your baby and not what everyone tells is you is right! Good luck!

lmizgala@hotmail.com

Hi Robyn, good for you for making such a difficult decision.  Don't worry what people think.  You are the mother and you know what is best for you and your baby.  Many of my friends had difficulty with breast feeding and turned to bottle feeding with great success.  Their babies are doing just fine.  

Now that the stress of breast feeding is behind you, I hope you now take this time to recover and enjoy your time with your baby. 

Louise

fiazo

I know what you mean about being tied to a machine all day. It's really hard to get things done. A bottle is so much faster, they eat it up alot faster. Breastfeeding is tough. I will do it as long as I can but I don't know how my sister did it for a year. And she worked, so she pumped at work. I am staying home & it's tough.

There is nothing bad about you not breastfeeding. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

benoitfan

Robyn,  I totally support your decision.  Yesterday when I posted, I was supporting your efforts to BF because I thought that was what you were looking for.  I would NEVER judge a mom for deciding that the best thing for her mental health and her child's well being is to bottlefeed.  I was a bottlefed baby, and I think I turned out pretty damn good thanks.   

My sister struggled with bf for 6wks.  Her son was being supplemented since birth because bf was not going well, so in the end she just gave it up.  She had friends who bf their kids til the age of 2 and various healthcare professionals giving her a hard time about her decision.  She felt much better about it when her OB told her that she herself only bf for 6 days.

While at this moment I intend to bf, I am not going to let some boob nazi make me feel bad if it doesn't work for us.  My mental health will more greatly affect my ability to be a good mom to my son than breastmilk will, so while I intend to give it a few weeks to a month, if I can't emotionally handle the process, we will move to formula sooner rather than later.

I'm glad that you are able to see things clearly for your situation and have made a decision that works for you and your little one.  Like I said yesterday, concentrate on your recovery and enjoy life as a new mom!

SFAug07

Congratulations on making a good decision for you and Aaron! I also chose to formula feed (without even giving it a try).

I do get some judgement from friends and family but I feel good about my decision too and it is the right one for me, keeping me sane and in turn helping me to be a better mother. Breastfeeding was just never right for me.

aracely523

You're right people will judge you but it doesn't matter as long as you feel good about your decision. 

MrsW.10.15.05

All that really matters is you have made the choice that works best for you and your family!  

Just wear a bra that gives support and when you shower, dont let the warm water continuously hit your breasts!!  Good luck!