going back to work tonight

pbhennessy

So it's been just about a week since we found out about our loss.  Last Monday was the day of our first u/s and the day we were told that although I was supposed to be 10+ weeks, the pregnancy never progressed past 5 weeks.  I had my d&c Tuesday and since then my whole world has turned upside down.

My doctor wrote me a note for work that I was not to return for the rest of the week.  Since I'm a nurse, I only work three- twelve hour shifts, so this gave me the whole of last week off, which was a small blessing.  However, tonight I return to work for the first time, and I'm SO anxious.  I guess I should mention what kind of nursing I do... labor & delivery.

Needless to say I have been dreading this day for the past week.  I know I need to get back in the saddle at some point, but I've never dreaded going to work as much as I do today.   I only told the head nurse on my floor last week what happened, and I'm pretty sure she didn't go around telling everyone else.  I guess that's both a good thing and a bad thing... good because no one even knew I was pregnant to begin with... but bad because if I fall apart tonight I'm not really sure how I will deal all by myself.

Anyway, I just needed to vent.  Thanks for reading... please wish me luck tonight. 

Ehoff33

I wish you the best of luck tonight...I am very nevours to go back to work tomorrow also..I am a hearing specialist and I will see about 10 patients tomorrow and some knew I was pregnant...So I pray you and I do not break down or fall apart to anyone...and if it does happen I know everyone will just feel bad and say how sorry they are..

smileychic10986

Best of luck to you tonight at work.  I am sorry that's it's gonna be so tough.  I know I would have had such a hard time with that if I did what you do!  If you need to sneak off and cry, do it.  I'm sorry 

vkbaby09

Good luck at work tonight!  Maybe sharing what happened to you will not only make you feel more comfortable with the people you work with, but it may also make you feel better.  I know every time I talk about what happened to me I feel a little better.  Remember that though it may be super hard for you to see all the pg ladies and new babies at your job (and I don't envy you for that job so soon after a loss), you can also take your experience and be an even better nurse.  I'm sure you will be able to be a lot more compassionate with patients who lose their babies or even have difficulties and maybe even impact their lives.  I know the nurse that I had while in labor made such a difference in the experience we had.  She was truly amazing.  (((((big hugs)))))

Heckelsgren

It's a little late, but I hope your first night back at work was as smooth as could be expected.