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Do you discipline at home for misbehavior at DC/preschool?

REOMREOM member
in Parenting

My DD was hitting yesterday, and today she pulled a little girl's hair and kicked another child. I am at my wit's end with her. Yesterday, we took away TV time, and I guess I will today too.

She wasn't hungry, slept well last night, and isn't feeling sick. Her trigger was simply that the girl was on the see saw, and Gina wanted on and didn't want to wait her turn.

The teacher made me feel awful -I really don't know what she wanted me to say. What am I supposed to do with her?! I am afraid they are going to kick her out if she keeps acting like this...

DD1 12.18.06 DD2 9.18.08 DD3 EDD 5.10.2012 BabyFruit Ticker
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Re: Do you discipline at home for misbehavior at DC/preschool?

  • BrewsterBrewster

    Not sweet Gina!

    I think consequences at this age need to be immeadiate.  I would definitely discuss with her how to behave properly, remind her of the situation, and express disappointment.  Other than that, I am not sure at our kids age they can understand a punishment that comes hours later.  KWIM?  I ask the daycare how they handled it and maybe offer some consequences that you think may work for her. 

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  • A-baybrideA-baybride
    DD's not in DC or PS at the moment, but as long as I thought that she understood the connection - that privileges were being taken away because she kicked someone (or whatever) - then yes, I think I would.
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  • DandRDandR

    that's so hard because at that age the "punishment" really needs to come from the teacher and be more instant...you know "sorry you don't get the see saw the rest of recess" type thing...and whatever you do in the evening won't really be as effective for TOMORROW because its hard to associate the two....

    what did they do at school?

    and why are they guilt tripping you?

    honestly, I think I would really talk to the teacher about what they are doing at school and offer suggestions that you think may help them????

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  • mlm1128mlm1128

    She's with my cousin all day, and she knows that she can punish her if she does something there so I haven't needed to yet.  I do discuss it with her and let her know why it's wrong, etc.  I'm sure there will be issues when she starts preschool because she is very bossy.

    Is it the same kid she is doing it to?  Maybe she just doesn't like her?  Or is it possible that the other child is sneaky and is picking on her on the sly?

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  • amiamishamiamish

    My son is only 2, so he wouldn't understand why he was being punished ( i dont think)... I might say something to him at school AT pick up--for instance:

    the teacher tells you what happened while DD is next to you, I would look at DD and say "you did that? Oh my, that is not nice."

    Until she's older, I wouldn't carry punishment over from school to home. DCP should address it at school and maybe take away a privilege there.

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  • jessicaclarejessicaclare member

    No, because I don't think she'd make the connection between the punishment at home and the behavior at daycare.I'd definitely try to talk to her about it, though.

    IMO, the teacher should not have made you feel like crap about it. Toddler/preschooler misbehavior needs to be dealt with on the spot, so its really the teacher's job to discipline. Besides that, kids often act a lot differently at home than they do at school, so how are you supposed to know its an issue if its not happening at home? 

    image
    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
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  • REOMREOM member

    No, not the same child. And she kicked her little boyfriend today, I just don't get it.

    They are doing time out with her, but it doesn't seem to be working. Then they report back to me, I just feel like I need to DO something, you know?

    She started in the class last week and did great all week. I would understand if this happened in the beginning, but not now.

    DD1 12.18.06 DD2 9.18.08 DD3 EDD 5.10.2012 BabyFruit Ticker
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  • dpdwdpdw member
    We don't do delayed discipline.  At this age I don't think that kids get the connection between the act & the punishment if it's been so long between the two.  But we do talk about the offending actions -- a lot.  Like on the way home from daycare, during dinner, before he goes to bed, before we drop him off at daycare.  The daycare says that they do notice a marked improvement in his behavior once I talk to him about it. 
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  • sweetie1528sweetie1528

    first of all, I can't believe what a bad child you have.  my G would never do such a thing.

    seriously, it is a tough age.  I think all that we can do is be consistent and keep teaching them what to do and what not to do.  I think taking TV away is a great way to show her that actions have consequences.  

    I am sorry that you felt bad bc of the teacher.  maybe it's the sign our Gs' were born under.  It WILL get better!  lots of hugs to you!

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  • buffalo_buckeyebuffalo_buckeye member
    I'm sorry. That has to be so tough when you aren't even there to see or correct it. Did you ask how they handeled the situation? And I'm sure you don't let her do those things but maybe ask the school what you can do at home to help? Like a sticker chart if she has a good day at school or a reward? I can't see punishing her for something that happened at school quite yet. Seems a little young, but if she gets it than maybe? Does she do this at home too or with her playmates or is this just an adjustment to a new school?
    imageimageimage
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  • BrewsterBrewster
    imageREOM:

    No, not the same child. And she kicked her little boyfriend today, I just don't get it.

    WHAT??? She is 2 timing Noah?  Definitely no TV then.  LOL

    Maybe they need to try something else.  Not just timeout, but take things/privileges away from her at school.  What is the antecedent to this behavior?  Maybe she needs to practice/roll play. If she knocks someone off the see saw, they need to have her practice saying, "Suzie, can I have a turn when you are finished?"  or whatever while reminding her to have nice hands.  You guys could do the same thing at home.

    And if she was moved to a new room recently, I definitely think she has passed the honeymoon stage and moved on to the testing the waters stage.  She is probably trying to figure out what she can and can not get away with with new teachers/friends.  

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  • REOMREOM member
    imageBrewster:
    imageREOM:

    No, not the same child. And she kicked her little boyfriend today, I just don't get it.

    WHAT??? She is 2 timing Noah?  Definitely no TV then.  LOL

    Maybe they need to try something else.  Not just timeout, but take things/privileges away from her at school.  What is the antecedent to this behavior?  Maybe she needs to practice/roll play. If she knocks someone off the see saw, they need to have her practice saying, "Suzie, can I have a turn when you are finished?"  or whatever while reminding her to have nice hands.  You guys could do the same thing at home.

    And if she was moved to a new room recently, I definitely think she has passed the honeymoon stage and moved on to the testing the waters stage.  She is probably trying to figure out what she can and can not get away with with new teachers/friends.  

    LOL he is just a little fling ;)

    But yes, I think you are right, she is testing them.

    And I think I will start rewarding her for having good days at school, good idea.

    And sweetie, these Gs are something else! Although, I'm sure yours would never-eva! LOL

    DD1 12.18.06 DD2 9.18.08 DD3 EDD 5.10.2012 BabyFruit Ticker
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