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Adoption
has my first "ignorant" run-in...
so i was just at the paint store buying pain for the nursery. It was fairly busy so i just stood in line with my bucket of paint to be mixed. An older man, i would guess 70-75 offers to put it on the counter for me. (he was waiting for his paint to be mixed). I thanked him and said i was fine.
A few minutes later, this was the conversation, which progressively got worse.
him: "do you like to paint?"
me: "yes"
him: "are you painting alone?"
me: "no, MH and i are painting."
him: "what are you painting."
me: " a nursery." (clearly, i don't look pregnant whatsoever, so i get a bizarre look, so I feel the need to explain)...
me: "we are adopting."
him: "congrats, i'm so sorry you can't have your own kids." 
me: "thanks"
him: "Where are you adopting from?"
me: "The U.S."
him: "when are you getting your child?"
me: "i don't know, but we are just getting prepared."
So i walk from the counter after my paint was being mixed, not far from him. My back is to him as i'm picking up the supplies i need. He starts conversing again.
him: "so since you are adopting from the U.S, will be be local?"
me: "could be, you never know!"
him: "oh.. i wouldn't do that if i were you, you are asking for trouble!" "that is a terrible situation." 
me: now i am fuming..."why don't you educate yourself before giving a stranger advice." 
Girls, it just came out. I couldn't help myself. I was totally enjoying my day, and his ignorance made me so mad. I am normally able to brush things like that off, but i think i need to get thicker skin for this process. I'm sure that is the first of many, many conversations. The kid that was checking him out must have been like whoah!
The nerve!
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Re: has my first "ignorant" run-in...
I had a similar situation earlier this week-so I feel your pain. My philosophy:
"I can't teach all of the ignorant of the world, I can only teach my child about the ignorant."
Hang in there!
I LOVE that you actually said this. Don't worry, you didn't owe him any type of courtesy. ?
It never fails to amaze me how free people are with their unsolicited advice. I think I see what he was saying...but he had no business saying anything at all.
Me too! In the moment it felt weird, but i called to tell MH and he gave me a hi-5 over the phone!
It really does amaze me. I wanted to hand him a Cliff Notes version of what was going through my head and ask him ..."do you really think you know what is best for me and my family? "
ditto! good for you!
You are my hero!
Yes! Good for you.
On a sidenote, I can't wait to see your paint!
thanks ladies! You are the best!
Steph - the paint is just so darn pretty. Much prettier than i thought it would be. So i'm even more excited now.
Ditto...I would never have been quick enough to get this out! Good job!!
I'm proud of you!
I had a similar "ignorant run-in" this past week. Someone I work with asked me if they will "just take the baby" from the birthmom after she gives birth. Sigh. After I got over the stunned feeling, I took a moment and explained how things would probably go at the hospital from what we've been told.
I got a similar statement from my mom.
*sigh*
Good job with the comeback.