guilt or just me??

redheadedmomma

I have not posted in  a LONG time, and never on this board.  I work full time and have a 13 month old.  I feel guilty ALL the time.  But then when I am with her all day on the weekends I feel I need a break.  THen I get ask to go on girls night out I never go, because of the guilt.  THen I finally said yes to this weekend.  I will be gone all day saturday and come home sunday mid day.  I feel so guilty.  this is normal right?  how do you all handle it, or should I find a shrink??

jellybean529

Not just you...I haven't gone out with my friends since DD was born. DH & I also just had our first date night in over a year last weekend. I just hate leaving her with someone when I barely get to see her all week. Just keep in mind though, happy mom = happy kids and it is OKAY to get out and take some time for yourself every now and then!

tosababy

It really is not healthy to feel guilty all the time.  It couldn't hurt to talk to someone about it.  Or just to commit to making your life more balanced (going on some of those girls' nights outs and weekends away). 

I feel guilty sometimes, but I know it's usually irrational.  For example, my husband responds correctly that it's great for our son to have time with his grandparents (which he gets when we go out without him).   

AlisaS

I agree -

Happy Moms = Happy Kids.

Guilty Moms = less energy/time to be a Happy Mom.

ai&Jas

I have to agree with the previous posters. Happy moms = happy kids. Kids can pick up on your emotions. I do feel guilty sometimes but its very rare and normally happens when my DD is having an off day and cries when I drop her off at school. I know that she stops within 5 mins after I am gone because I call her room when I get into my office (about 5 mins away) and her teachers tell me she's fine plus I don't hear her crying.

Being a mum can be so overwhelming sometimes and it does take a while for you to be ablw to go out for fun and without your DC. The first time I did this (work function) I called my DH to make sure everything was fine and although I missed her I also really enjoyed the night out

I hope you enjoy your time out

duchess0727

The only time I feel guilty is when I'm home and I can't make that time with my kids quality.  The time my kids are away from me, they are almost always with someone who loves and cares about them and who is playing with them and having fun - whether it be DCP, grandparents, my husband or a babysitter.  I can't imagine not ever spending time with my friends since having kids.  I would be miserable without them.  Six weeks after I had my daughter my husband made me have a drink with a friend just to get out of the house and it completely refreshed me.  If you are really feeling guilty all the time, you may want to consider talking to someone.  I don't think therapy hurts anyone - the worst it can do is nothing and the best it can do is help you feel good about your situation.

kim_and_tony

I feel guilty a lot, but we just moved so I feel like my time at home is distracted too.  Go on your girls weekend, it will make you feel better to know you get to sleep in/ do your own thing.  Can you get a day off the week following and spend it with your DC?  That really helps me recharge.  I totally get what you mean about feeling like you need a break after a weekend with DC too.  I think we are all only human, and we get tired of "doing it all."

jlw2505

As others have said, you really need to try and a happy balance for you as your kids will pick up on things.  I had some PPD in the 1st year or so of my younger DD's life (17 months now) and until I did something about it, things were really hard as I know the kids picked up on how I was feeling and also on the stress between DH and I.  I went and talked to someone and DH and I spent a lot of time talking through all the things that could help.  It did wonders.  We are all much happier.  I am taking more time for me and working on not feeling guilty about it which is not always easy but I am doing so much better as I know I am happier when I get some real me time and that does not mean the time I am at work.  Try to plan girls nights out to be later in the day so you still get the whole day with your child or over nap time.  I have done that and its the best of both worlds.

carrie4g

I understand your feelings but life just shouldn't be that hard. You need to enjoy what you have and part of that is realizing that you can't be perfect and with your DC 100% of the time.  Go out and enjoy yourself this weekend. Feel guilty if you're doing it every weekend but you're not.