Parenting

Would this be rude? weddign question

A friend asked if she can invite people to the reception but not the wedding.  I told her that I think if you invte to one you should invite to both.  Just thought I would ask what others thought.

Re: Would this be rude? weddign question

  • I would love to just go to a reception! My mom just got an invite to the recpetion.
    Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image
  • I think it's completely rude unless it's a religious/cultural consideration. For example, if my Muslim friend gets married, I won't be able to attend the wedding but would be able to attend the reception - it's a religious consideration.

    If it's simply a financial consideration, it's rude.

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  • IMO it is rude its like saying you aren't important enough to see us do it but I will take your money.
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  • I could be wrong, but it seems it would be way MORE rude to invite someone to the wedding and NOT the reception. Isn't the reception the expensive part, anyway?

    What would the reason be to not invite someone to the wedding...is the church small and doesn't hold enough people or what?

  • It depends.  Is she doing an intimate ceremony with just family and close friends?  If so, then absolutely.  If not, then its kind of tacky.
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  • imageJen2124:

    I could be wrong, but it seems it would be way MORE rude to invite someone to the wedding and NOT the reception. Isn't the reception the expensive part, anyway?

    What would the reason be to not invite someone to the wedding...is the church small and doesn't hold enough people or what?

    This is how I think too. Come for the party.

    Audrey Elizabeth 11-11-06 image
  • imageMrs Manners:

    I think it's completely rude unless it's a religious/cultural consideration. For example, if my Muslim friend gets married, I won't be able to attend the wedding but would be able to attend the reception - it's a religious consideration.

    If it's simply a financial consideration, it's rude.

    Ditto this.  Some of H's cousins are Mormon and we've only gone to the receptions because we aren't allowed in the temple since we aren't Mormon.

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  • Josh & Bobbi did this.  They wanted a very small & intimate ceremony with just the immediate family.  Then they had a very informal reception the next day.  Nobody had a problem with it at all.
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  • Rude, unless its for religious reasons. The ceremony is my favorite part of the wedding, and really, its the reason WHY you're having the party, so shouldn't people have the option of attending both?
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  • You need to tell us her reason before I can commit to my answer!
  • imageJen2124:

    I could be wrong, but it seems it would be way MORE rude to invite someone to the wedding and NOT the reception. Isn't the reception the expensive part, anyway?

    What would the reason be to not invite someone to the wedding...is the church small and doesn't hold enough people or what?

    This. ?Although I've been invited to one reception only. ?The couple got married in a little chapel, barely big enough for their family. ?It's their day, not mine. ?I was fine with it. ??

  • I have gone to several weddings like that.  This seems popular among my Jewish friends, now that I think of it, but I don't think it is a religious thing, maybe just a function of the space to have the wedding vs. the reception.
  • That's what we did. The room where we got married only held about 30 people, so it was just immediate family and our very best friends. We had 90 people total at the reception, in the ballroom at the same hotel as our ceremony. (5:00 wedding, 6:00 cocktail hour, 7:00 reception)
  • Sorry took a shower and put dd to bed so im just getting back online.

     

    Im not sure what she is thinking.  I know she has a very small budget so it may be that she cant find a place big enough to fit 100 people for the wedding in her budget but she may be able to for the party after.

  • No it is not rude.  Matter of fact, many people do this because of space limitations.  My DD's church only held 100 people comfortably.  It was a very old historical church.  The reception hall was modern and could accomodate up to 200 people.  My DD was having 150.  She invited everyone to both but only about 100 came to the church (which we figured would happen).  As far as the pp who said it would be like asking people to just bring a gift if they were only invited to the reception.  Guests are not "obligated" to bring a gift to the wedding or the reception.  Most do...but really only the bridal shower is specifically for gifts. 
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