We are using a midwife this time, and I will get an epidural (again) after trying to go natural with my first. It wasn't for me. But so far I like the more personalized attention I get from the midwives than from the OB group I used prior.
I would hate to be that 5% statistic and something does go horribly wrong.
Things go wrong in the hospital and actually according to the statistics it is more likely to die in child birth in a hospital then at home.
I saw a lady on Oprah who lost all of her limbs after giving birth in a hospital and I believe it was because she contracted a bacterial infection in the hospital.
Have you heard of MRSA?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
I would hate to be that 5% statistic and something does go horribly wrong.
Things go wrong in the hospital and actually according to the statistics it is more likely to die in child birth in a hospital then at home.
I saw a lady on Oprah who lost all of her limbs after giving birth in a hospital and I believe it was because she contracted a bacterial infection in the hospital.
Have you heard of MRSA?
But keep in mind that high-risk pregnancies are more likely to be seen
in the hospital than at home. So it doesn't necessarily mean that it's
more dangerous to give birth in the hospital, just that those who are
more at-risk for complications are there. It's already been stated
that homebirths are for low-risk moms.
Duh of course things go wrong at the hospital. Where do you thing you're going to end up when ones midwife figures out that the previous low-risk mom is now suddenly in trouble? That dreaded hospital so basically I would want to be there in the first place, that is my point, clearly that is not a concern for some.
Please don't lecture me with statistics that can easily be manipulated for ones purpose.
I am in no way comparing the two but I was simply coming up with the first thing that pop into my head that would relate. Yes something horrible can happen with a home birth, something horrible can happen with a hospital birth. To not do something just because something horrible can happen to me is silly. to add, the chances of something "horrible" happening is very slim and a trained midwife will have spotted this with plenty of time to transfer to a hospital to avoid a major issue. Why do something (like to directly to a hospital) if you don't need to.
I get what you're saying to some extent but there is a chance you will end up in a hospital and throw the plan out of whack. I guess it's a choice between the lesser of 2 evils neither situation home nor hospital is 100% perfect.
If you think your hospital birth plan has no chances of failure then you have another thing coming. You always have a plan B, whether you are at home or at the hospital.
Let me see if I can dig up where I found this, but only 10% of homebirthers need a transfer. These are those that get to start labor at home. Midwives will refer you to an OB if you become high risk during your pregnancy.
My memory of my birth is apparently a little different from what really happened, but this is about right. Perhaps someone else who was there can correct it
I had been having contractions for weeks and was miserable. Add on top of that hyperemesis, and 3 pregnancies in 3 years. I hadn't slept more than two hours total in a night (a broken sleep) for over a week. My pubic bone was also starting to separate and I just couldn't handle it anymore. My body was seeming to fall apart on me. I had my OB write a prescription for Ambien after trying everything possible to help me sleep, including over-the-counter sleep aids. Even the Ambien didn't work. Having consistent contractions for weeks had left my uterus feeling sore all the time, too. I was way beyond over being pregnant.
I got up Thursday morning and sent my midwife an email telling her I couldn't take it any more and to do what she needed to do to help me have this baby. I also left her a message on her phone at noon. At 12:30 p.m., my contractions really changed. They were to the point that I needed to stop and focus through them. We agreed that her and her assistant would come over at 8 p.m. that evening. I had been at four centimeters for over a week at this point and now it was starting to thin, so things were favorable for a bit of a push. She stripped my membranes, and after that, I was 5.5 centimeters. I walked for quite awhile and then just rested and laughed with Jonathan.
We decided to break my water at midnight. I was at seven centimeters at that point. Things picked up rather quickly, but it was still manageable. At two, something really changed, and it got awful. The baby had been posterior for most of my third trimester, despite going to the chiropractor to help her turn three times per week. I had acupuncture on Wednesday and she finally had turned; I was so thankful. My first baby was posterior, even through delivery, and it was awful.
Maile turned back to a posterior position at some point after my water was broken apparently. That was when the back labor started. I didn't realize that was the pain I was having at the time, so I tried to labor in the water, which didn't help at all. I needed to be moving. I then felt like sitting on the toilet for awhile, which didn't help at all, either. Finally I asked to be checked to see if I was progressing. My midwife checked, and I was still at a seven centimeters, and she confirmed that baby was posterior again. This was at about 3 a.m. I started to freak out a bit, because my posterior labor with my first child was 36 hours (a posterior baby cannot help your cervix change as quickly, because there isn't the correct pressure on your cervix). I knew I couldn't do this for hours and hours on end.
I tried to get on my hands and knees to give her the most room to move, but I could not be still. I was pacing like a madwoman around the house. By 3:30 or so, I was begging to go to the hospital for an epidural. I could not chill out at all, I was just crying. I had no time between contractions and the pain in my back was awful. Right at 4 a.m., I experienced the worst pain I can ever imagine happening. (Came to find out, it was baby turning). I screamed something that sounded like it came from a horror movie, and told the midwife she could just cut the baby out of me. Then I realized that I needed to push (seriously the most welcome thing in the world at that point!). I dropped to my knees by the bed where I was standing, and Jonathan knelt down behind me and put his arms around me, with my head resting on the bed (he did this so I would chill out, but I was already calm since I knew it was almost over). I pushed a couple of times, and she was born at 4:04 a.m.
I had planned on catching her myself, but I honestly didn't feel like it. The midwife caught her and laid her down below me. I literally dozed off with my head on the bed for a couple of minutes (turns out it wasn't that long, and just felt like it to me), so relieved it was over and to hear my baby cry. I then got with it, and leaned down and picked up my perfect baby and was able to nurse her right away. I delivered the placenta and climbed into bed and nursed her for an over an hour. She was already a pro!
It was the most amazing experience of my life. The pain was awful, but I wouldn't change a moment of it for anything. I'm so glad that I was able to do this, and I felt so empowered. I was amazed with myself and my body's ability to do what it needed to do. I was so grateful that I could do it however I wanted, no rules like you have in the hospital. All three of my births were beautiful, but this is what I always wanted... it was so much more than I ever could have imagined. I was allowed to let my body do what it needed to do, I wasn't strapped to a bed or denied foeod and water, or told I had to stay in a certain position. It was perfect.
And here, 6 months later and knowing I'm done having babies...I'm finding myself sad and wanting to do it over again, just for the experience of birthing at home again
Giving birth at home is a choice. I get that. However, there are huge risks that go along with that choice. As a healthcare professional I can tell you there is no midwife out there who is prepared to save you no matter what. Post-partum hemorrhage can cause you to bleed out in minutes. Childbirth is a risky process, and before modern medicine many women died as a result of giving birth. While it's true that childbirth is natural, and that many women experience little to no complications, there is always the possibility for something to go horribly wrong.
You can have a natural childbirth in a hospital setting with a midwife present. I don't understand why giving birth at home is worth the risk to you and your unborn child.
I thought about it with my first and would have loved doing it. Unfortunately there are no midwives in my province and the cost is really prohibitive for us. The government pays for a hospital birth but won't even recognize midwives. So frustrating.
Rock on sister! I am SO proud of you for even considering this!
I have been present at both of my sister's two (SAFE, HEALTHY, HAPPY and BEAUTIFUL homebirths) and it was truly an absolute honor and joy to be a part of the experience.
Just last night, our childbirth educator said that in the United States, a hospital is actually the MOST DANGEROUS place to give birth, because they are in such a rush to intervene, to rush you and your baby, and to start the waterfall of complications (that NEVER needed to happen) which all too often end up with a baby in the NICU who never would have been if left alone, or a C-section that never needed to happen, or even something "minor" like a forceps delivery/episiotomy b/c hospital staff were unwilling to wait for the baby to come on his own timetable. ugh. it makes me so angry. Keep doing your research - GIVING BIRTH IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU WILL EVER DO. Make your decisions as informed as you can. Check out other websites, too, if you are looking for a more homebirth-friendly environment. www.mothering.com is one of my favorites.
I had to click on this, so I am jumping in. There are a lot of misinformed posts on here from people who obviously have no experience or education about homebirth. Midwives are highly trained individuals with strong medical backgrounds. They are prepared for resuscitation, hemorraging, and nearly all work with an OB in case of transfer. My midwife will be prepared in the case of my needing a blood transfusion etc.
I'm saddened by how few women question the level of medical intervention currently practiced in hospital birth. Having a previous hospital birth which led to a c-section, I know that birth in the hospital is treated as an illness or crisis to be resolved not a natural process. There is nothing natural about lying in stirrups and pushing a baby out. Ask yourself why in the world would anyone think that is the most conducive way to birth a child?
Medical intervention and hospital birth is great for those who truly need it, but less than 10% of mothers need fetal monitoring and intervention. Yet nearly all mothers birthing in a hospital have some form of intervention or augmentation. It's disturbing.
A pp mentioned mothering.com, which is a great resource if you are interested in homebirth. You might also be interested in the documentary Orgasmic Birth or the book Pushed. Good luck!
WhooHoo this is my first post. Anyways, my daughter was born in '06 in a hospital. They did not realize that her cord was wrapped around her neck and while I was trying to push her out it was tightening. I started pushing at 10 am and finally pushed her out at 10:45. They had to revive her, so even in a hospital with all of their fancy gadgets they cannot prevent something like that from happening. She was revived and spent 4 days in the INCU. They said that she would have to stay a min. of 10 days, but being the strong, beautiful girl she is she got her color back and started raising her head within 3 but they wanted to keep her for an extra day. The day after I gave birth they accused me of taking drugs while I was pregnant, and said that they could call the social services to take my baby away from me. They said that there were barbituites ( sorry don?t know the spelling) in her urine. I always called and asked my doctor what over the counter things I could take, and I had a root canal so I took something that the dentist gave me after clearing with my doctor. I am not a drug person, at all. SO ANYWAYs the point to my way too long intro is that no matter where you decide to birth things can go wrong just as much as they can go right. I am going to a midwife for my next birth, my man has already decieded that one. I was completely natural for my first and I believe in myself enough to know that I can do it again. In my opinion to ensure that you have the safest birth, you just need to exercise and be healthy. Lots of good sex and stretching is the best way
Home births are very dangerous. You really need to think of the well being of your child and deliver in a medical facility. I am a NICU nurse and have taken care of too many children who have been born at home and either have passed away or have a severe brain injury due to the length of time it took to get help to the home. Birth is also very messy and personally I wouldn't want that mess in my home. If you do decide to have a home birth, good luck.
Because when it comes to the well being of your child one would think that you would want to be in the safest place possible. Home births are illegal in some states because they are unsafe! No matter how close you live to a hospital it is not close enough.
I had a home birth. My best advise is run don't walk and get away from this message board. Do your research but get away from a message board like this one because most people do not research homebirth. If you have any questions you can PM me. Wish you the best with your choice.
Someone should have told the hospital staff that when I was trying to give birth to my son- I asked them to turn off the pitocin repeatedly and was promptly ignored. It was doing nothing but causing me to lose focus, but they kept it on because it was their normal procedure.
edit: I wish I'd had a home birth- the birth center I went was basically a hospital with curtains, and then they transferred me to the actual hospital when my labor exceeded the average.
Yes, waterbirth is very safe, in fact worldwide statistics show that waterbirth, without the use of drugs, is the safest way to be born. The concern of most parents is will their baby inhale water and drown? Babies have what is called a dive reflex which causes them to swallow instead of inhale when water gets in their mouth or nose. They swallow and then hold their breath. Because they are still attached to the umbilical cord, they continue to receive all their needed oxygen through it, making it unnecessary to breathe up to several minutes after birth. However, we always gently but immediately bring the baby?s face out of the water after the birth to initiate breathing. When the baby?s face comes in contact with cool air, it is believed that this is one of the main things that stimulates him to breathe and most babies begin breathing within seconds of this.
We planned a homebirth but ended up having to get induced at 23 days past due bc of the results of our BPP tests. Our midwife did all our prenatal and post partum care and was with us in the hospital for the birth. She and the women she works with are great and when we had to go to the hospital for induction, she made arrangements with a great OB who used to teach Bradley classes, trained as a midwife, etc. She was very supportive of giving us the most natural and homelike birth in the hospital.
Research your midwives carefully though, talk to other moms that have used them. Our midwife had to "rescue" a woman whose midwife went on vacation without leaving her someone to contact if she went into labor...the woman looked up our midwife in the phonebook to come to her birth! Our midwife has 2 apprentices, 1 assistant, and another midwife that isn't fulltime with her staff but they help each other out a lot with birth bc they used to work together and their coverage areas overlap.
I just want to state for the record that born at home doesn't equal homebirth. The NICU nurse said she has seen many babies born at home that almost died...for one, just bc they are born at home, doesn't mean it was on purpose or planned with a midwife. If it just happens, yes a lot can go wrong. #2, why in the world would someone bring in their healthy baby that was born at home? Of course they are going to bring in the ones that need extra medical help.
One of the major factors in our decision to go with a midwife and specifically the one we choose was a family friend of ours. She has 6 kids. The first was home birth that needed transfered for C-section bc of distress. Second born in hospital (she was a little scared to do another homebirth) and was a c-section (no vbacs at that hospital). The last 4 were homebirth. All was well even though they were VBACs.
A good MW can deal with breech babies (or knows how turn them), has meds to stop bleeding, equip for resuciating, etc.
Yes I was, but its not legal yet in the state of Alabama...lame right?... I did talk to a home birthing midwife in Fl (30 min away) and i would have to use my inlaws house (which im so not comfortable with!)
So i looked into Birthing centers... again NOT in Al... super lame... So i have a midwife here in Al that births in a hospital. we will stick with the birthing plan as much as the hospital will alow (because as u know from the documentary and the book the legality of it all)
I know in AZ indipendent birthing centers legally have to be so many min from the hospital and it takes that same amount of time for the hospital to prepare for an emergancy C-Section anyways so ur never in any danger. Probably the same thing for homebirths. which if you live in a metro area probly not a big deal.
as a midwife will tell u ur plan for birthing may change and they r ok with that too cuz u have to be comfortable with how YOU r going to birth cuz its gonna be all u!
I just wanted to point out that home birth is not illegal in any state. The confusion on this stems from the fact that some states do not license midwives. What is illegal is to practice medicine with out a license. State governments can not make the practice of home birth itself illegal, primarily due to the first amendment. There are some religious groups that forbid use of modern medical practices. The state can not make any holistic medical practice including home birth illegal for this reason.
Wow I am amazed at how quickly everyone is to judge homebirths & widwives! Long before hospitals were invented (beginning of the century), babies were born using midwives, not to mention the rest of the modern world primarily uses midwives and they have a lower mortality rate than the US! The majority of midwives in the US are Nurse-Midwives, meaning they went to nursing school & became licensed RN's before going on to midwifery school. These women have the same knowledge & experience as any nurse & doctor in the hospital do. The only difference is that your doctor is actually a surgeon, so he/she can perform that c-section.
The Business of Being Born was produced by Rikki Lake who had 1 hospital birth & then did homebirth the 2nd time around. Her perspective on this topic is very interesting & these women did their research. Even if you are against homebirth & midwives, I HIGHLY recommend watching this documentary. It is very informative & it's refreshing to hear another side to giving birth other than scheduled c-sections & doped up women in labor.
While I am still undecided which route I will go, I will do thorough research on what's available in my area before making the final decision.
Ladies - I urge you to know your facts before answering a thread like this one. It's ok if you're against homebirth...but don't go scaring a mother-to-be without knowing the facts first.
It's really long and very
detailed because I wrote it for myself and because I want to remember
everything! I don't think people get to hear truly positive birth
stories very often, so I wanted to share our experience.
Roscoe?s official due date was May 31st. A little back-story includes the fact that our doula had an out of town trip scheduled for the 21st through the 25th,
and that my Grandparent's were visiting from Hawaii, but headed back
home on the 21st as well. If we gave birth while Lori was away we would
have had to use her backup so our fingers were crossed that he would
come before or after her trip. As for my grandparent's, Roscoe is their
first great grandchild so of course they were hoping he'd arrive while
they were in town.
On Monday evening (May 18th)
I set out on my usual 3-mile walk. On the way back I was feeling really
tired and sorry I hadn't taken a shorter route. Later that night I felt
really stiff and sore and figured I might have overdone it. Despite our
initial plan to clean the house, go grocery shopping (our cupboards
were practically bare), and make our bed per the instructions of our
midwife, I was feeling so out of it that we decided to go to bed
instead.
The next morning I felt more pressure in my pelvis, and
found it increasingly difficult to comfortably walk around the house.
In particular, my lower back was getting tighter and tighter. I began
telecommuting up in the loft a little before 9:00 am, sat in on a
conference call at 12:00 pm, and took my lunch at 1:00. Around the same
time I felt a couple painless period-like cramps, not unlike those I'd
been experiencing for weeks. I set my alarm for 25 minutes in order to
take a quick snooze and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the couch
pillow. Not more than ten minutes later I woke to a flow of warm water
and quickly realized it was my water breaking. I made it to the
bathroom just in time for a big gush of amniotic fluid, and awesomely,
my back pain was instantly relieved, my belly seemed smaller, and I
felt great! Despite the early signs of progress noted in previous
weeks, Andy and I had tried to maintain the realistic expectation that
Roscoe might arrive after his due date, so I was actually pretty
shocked to be in labor at 38 weeks, 2 days. A rush of adrenaline
simultaneously brought on tears and the shakes.
I first called
Andy at work. When he answered I blurted out that my water had just
broken, and he asked if I was kidding. Tearfully, I said ?no?. He
responded with a few sweet words and I could tell he was excited. We
got off the phone exchanging ?I Love Yous? and a joyful ?Oh my god,
we?re having a baby TODAY!? Andy left work and headed home knowing it
would be at least an hour as he needed to stop by CVS
to pick up an antibiotic for group beta strep. With rush hour fast
approaching I next called Susan (our midwife), then Lori (our Doula).
At that point, I had not yet had any contractions so I was told to go
about my day, and to give Susan a call in a couple hours to let her
know how we were doing. She said that if contractions didn't begin
within the next 12 to 18 hours we would discuss how to proceed, but
added that she hoped we'd have our baby by then.
So! After
signing off at work, and considering my good luck in timing my leave (I
had only worked from home for 2.5 days), I raced around to tidy the
house (we had company coming!) and started some last minute loads of
laundry while I waited for both Andy to get home from work, and for the
contractions to begin.
When the first real contraction came I
called Susan for a little pep talk (the first and last) and said
something along the lines of, "I know we planned this natural birth and
all....but....uh...these contractions kinda hurt. I'm worried!" She
reminded me that they would continue to get stronger but that I would
acclimate to the pain as my labor progressed. While on the phone I had
another contraction more painful than the first, and said, "Oooh,
that one was worse." In a calm and steady, matter of fact way, she
said. "No. That one was BETTER, it was STRONGER!" Which reminded me to reframe the pain, and gave me a smile. Just one of the many reasons why Susan is awesome!
By
the time Andy arrived around 3:00 pm I had experienced only three
contractions. He had downloaded a contraction timing App a few days
earlier (there's one for everything!), and by 3:30 pm Andy's iPhone
showed my contractions coming every three to five minutes.
So there we were at the beginning of DC rush hour, with my midwife (in Maryland) and my doula
(in Sterling) on the wrong side of traffic. Susan and Lori kept
reminding me that first labors average 20 hours. They were very
laid-back and in no rush to head out onto I95. My mom was in labor for
8 hours with me, 1.5 hours with my sister, and 1.1 hours with my
brother. My labor was progressing as quickly and I was beginning to
worry about the timing of the birth team's arrival to our house. I told
them I'd call them if anything changed.
Initially, Andy helped
me manage my pain with counter pressure moves we had learned in our
Bradley class. Eventually, those were not at all helpful, and I did
what felt best which at the time was to simply rock and breathe through
each contraction. Lori suggested I drink a glass of wine and head
upstairs to take a bath. I didn't drink the wine, but I did get in the
tub; the heat felt nice, but lying down was uncomfortable. Andy and I
then hopped in the shower but didn't stay long because I just didn?t
find it very helpful which was disappointing because I had heard such
great things about laboring in water. I redressed and we headed back
downstairs.
In preparation for labor, Andy and I had created an
exhaustive list of activities to keep us busy in the early stages. They
ran the gamut from going to the grocery store to buy supplies for
Roscoe?s birthday cake, to taking a hike at the local park, or watching
video from our wedding. I entered the active stage of labor within an
hour or so of my first contraction, to our dismay we never had a chance
to implement the list! At one point, Andy suggested that we sit outside
in the sun and maybe take a little stroll. That sounded nice. Just as
we were headed for the door, the first of my transitional contractions
began, and there was no going anywhere but upstairs for the final phase
of labor. I called the birth team again and they were on their way!
I
went back to our bedroom and labored for a little while, and around
4:30 I wanted Lori?s ETA?I was more than ready for some additional
labor support. Andy called and she was only about 15 minutes away. I
crawled into my bed just as she arrived.
Soon after, I started
to bear down and Lori mouthed to Andy that we would have a baby SOON!
When Susan arrived around 5:20 pm, I remember seeing her walk through
our bedroom door, but I barely acknowledged her; laboring between the
time that I went upstairs to take a bath, and Roscoe?s actual birth was
quite a blur. I was definitely in my birthing zone, and completely
giving in to the experience. My body led the way and I intuitively
followed.
The transition from labor contractions to pushing
contractions was for me the strangest part of Roscoe's birth. At this
stage, the contractions began with rhythmic cramping pain but at the
height of the contraction started a completely involuntary squeeze
that, in the words of my doula,
"is like throwing up backward!" It was kind of awkward and I found
myself fighting the contractions. Up until that point I had been
practically silent, but with direction from Lori I began vocalizing
with each exhalation, which really helped me to focus and relax. After
several contractions I had it figured out and headed to the bathroom
for what would become my first true pushing contraction. I pushed only
once with each of the next few contractions, and alternated between the
bathroom and our bedroom for routine fetal monitoring.
When my
labor had progressed to the point where I was pushing three times with
each contraction, I instinctively retreated to our darkened bathroom
after declaring ?I want to be alone". I pushed over the toilet for the
next 40 minutes and every so often someone from the birth team would
poke their head in to offer water, or support. They also checked the
baby's heart rate periodically. Otherwise, I was left to labor as I
pleased. Andy, Susan, and Lori kept each other company in our bedroom.
Around this time, Mel, our photographer, showed up. She had driven from
Richmond (about an hour and twenty minutes away) and had timed her
arrival perfectly.
With each contraction I could feel Roscoe
moving down, and I could see my belly changing shape. I felt like I was
getting somewhere so I asked Susan to check me for the first (and last)
time. She said that I was making good progress. With the very next
contraction Lori said she could see Roscoe's head and asked me if I
wanted to touch it. I did and it felt wet, and squishy!
I
squatted there in the bathroom and was prepared to give birth, but in
an effort to avoid tearing, my midwife suggested we move into the
bedroom and try a different position. I had several contractions
kneeling in a "proposal" position, and then it was time for Roscoe to
make his debut!
I laid back with Andy behind me, and pushed
several times. At one point, I felt some burning and Susan suggested I
breathe through the contractions instead of pushing with them. She also
noted that Roscoe?s head was asynclitic,
which means that it was tilted to the side. Instead of the back-top of
his head coming out first, the side-top was leading the way. Susan
helped reposition his head at the end, which alleviated some of the
burning. Lori offered a mirror so we could see Roscoe crowning. The
next thing I remember, was reaching down to pull baby Roscoe up onto my
belly. His umbilical cord was on the shorter side so I could only pull
him up to a certain point, but he locked eyes with us and, like a
little animatronic
baby, his dark gray eyes opened and closed in unison. He was brand new,
beautiful, foreign yet familiar at the same time. Andy and I were
awestruck. Roscoe?s apgar
scores were 8 and 9. We invited my sister and my mom to come upstairs,
and everyone chatted while waiting for the placenta to be delivered
before Andy cut the cord.
When I attempted to breastfeed he latched immediately.
Roscoe
was wrapped in a blanket and handed to Andy while I took a shower and
got dressed. We climbed into bed, a new family of three, and waited for
our visitors to arrive. First came Roscoe?s Grandpa, then his other set
of Grandparents, and two sets of Great Grandparents. When everyone else
went downstairs to enjoy the meal my mom and my sister had specially
prepared, Andy and I were given time to ourselves to eat and hang out
with our son.
Roscoe was born in our bedroom at 7:54 pm after 5
hours and 23 minutes of labor. He weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces, and was 19
inches long. I didn't tear at all. Giving birth at home was calm, intimate, and empowering
above all else. I loved everything about it, from beginning to end.
Particularly the time Andy and I spent together before the birth team
arrived, and the fact that I got to call the shots and labor how and
where I wanted. Roscoe's birth was everything we had hoped for and
more. I cannot wait to do it again!
A few surprises included the fact that I preferred to labor alone during the pushing phase. I didn?t want an audience, and I couldn?t have predicted that prior to the actual event.
Also,
while we did not implement so much of what we learned during our
Bradley course, I absolutely believe that it was instrumental in
setting the tone for the kind of birth we wanted, preparing us
emotionally and mentally for labor, and for working together as a team
to bring Roscoe into the world. The confidence and excitement we had
going into the experience really made it for us.
Lastly, many
people thought we were crazy for hiring a photographer to document our
birth experience. In reality it was one of the best decisions we made.
Hands down. As the laboring woman, you miss so much because you have
only one perspective. Mel captured things that were happening in other
rooms of our home; sweet, sentimental moments that I could not have
experienced if it weren?t
through the photos she took. Furthermore, anyone who?s ever taken a
Bradley course knows that you get to see many, many, MANY births on
video. To tell you the truth, some of my absolute favorite pictures are
of Roscoe literally being born. It is AMAZING to see your own body work
in that way. As for my comfort level with being photographed at such an
intense time, mothers will tell you that your modesty goes out the
window during birth, but what I found was that I hardly noticed Mel was
there. If you ask her, she?ll tell you that it was the most intrusive
she?s ever felt behind her lense, but from our end we couldn?t have been more at ease, comfortable in our own space.
**My advice is to go with your gut. Everyone has an opinion but only you know what's best for you and your family. Do your research, and feel confident in your decision. Parenting your LO starts now!
Yikes! No kids yet, just TTC, but I'm surprised at the ferocity on this posting. A saying I heard in Economics comes to mind: "Anecdotes are not evidence."
Re: Anyone considering a home birth?
Are we considering it? No.
We are using a midwife this time, and I will get an epidural (again) after trying to go natural with my first. It wasn't for me. But so far I like the more personalized attention I get from the midwives than from the OB group I used prior.
Things go wrong in the hospital and actually according to the statistics it is more likely to die in child birth in a hospital then at home.
I saw a lady on Oprah who lost all of her limbs after giving birth in a hospital and I believe it was because she contracted a bacterial infection in the hospital.
Have you heard of MRSA?
Tales of the Wife
Duh of course things go wrong at the hospital. Where do you thing you're going to end up when ones midwife figures out that the previous low-risk mom is now suddenly in trouble? That dreaded hospital so basically I would want to be there in the first place, that is my point, clearly that is not a concern for some.
Please don't lecture me with statistics that can easily be manipulated for ones purpose.
If you think your hospital birth plan has no chances of failure then you have another thing coming. You always have a plan B, whether you are at home or at the hospital.
Let me see if I can dig up where I found this, but only 10% of homebirthers need a transfer. These are those that get to start labor at home. Midwives will refer you to an OB if you become high risk during your pregnancy.
Tales of the Wife
I had a homebirth. Feel free to PM me if you need to ask some questions!
Here's my birth story:
I had been having contractions for weeks and was miserable. Add on top of that hyperemesis, and 3 pregnancies in 3 years. I hadn't slept more than two hours total in a night (a broken sleep) for over a week. My pubic bone was also starting to separate and I just couldn't handle it anymore. My body was seeming to fall apart on me. I had my OB write a prescription for Ambien after trying everything possible to help me sleep, including over-the-counter sleep aids. Even the Ambien didn't work. Having consistent contractions for weeks had left my uterus feeling sore all the time, too. I was way beyond over being pregnant.
I got up Thursday morning and sent my midwife an email telling her I couldn't take it any more and to do what she needed to do to help me have this baby. I also left her a message on her phone at noon. At 12:30 p.m., my contractions really changed. They were to the point that I needed to stop and focus through them. We agreed that her and her assistant would come over at 8 p.m. that evening. I had been at four centimeters for over a week at this point and now it was starting to thin, so things were favorable for a bit of a push. She stripped my membranes, and after that, I was 5.5 centimeters. I walked for quite awhile and then just rested and laughed with Jonathan.
We decided to break my water at midnight. I was at seven centimeters at that point. Things picked up rather quickly, but it was still manageable. At two, something really changed, and it got awful. The baby had been posterior for most of my third trimester, despite going to the chiropractor to help her turn three times per week. I had acupuncture on Wednesday and she finally had turned; I was so thankful. My first baby was posterior, even through delivery, and it was awful.
Maile turned back to a posterior position at some point after my water was broken apparently. That was when the back labor started. I didn't realize that was the pain I was having at the time, so I tried to labor in the water, which didn't help at all. I needed to be moving. I then felt like sitting on the toilet for awhile, which didn't help at all, either. Finally I asked to be checked to see if I was progressing. My midwife checked, and I was still at a seven centimeters, and she confirmed that baby was posterior again. This was at about 3 a.m. I started to freak out a bit, because my posterior labor with my first child was 36 hours (a posterior baby cannot help your cervix change as quickly, because there isn't the correct pressure on your cervix). I knew I couldn't do this for hours and hours on end.
I tried to get on my hands and knees to give her the most room to move, but I could not be still. I was pacing like a madwoman around the house. By 3:30 or so, I was begging to go to the hospital for an epidural. I could not chill out at all, I was just crying. I had no time between contractions and the pain in my back was awful. Right at 4 a.m., I experienced the worst pain I can ever imagine happening. (Came to find out, it was baby turning). I screamed something that sounded like it came from a horror movie, and told the midwife she could just cut the baby out of me. Then I realized that I needed to push (seriously the most welcome thing in the world at that point!). I dropped to my knees by the bed where I was standing, and Jonathan knelt down behind me and put his arms around me, with my head resting on the bed (he did this so I would chill out, but I was already calm since I knew it was almost over). I pushed a couple of times, and she was born at 4:04 a.m.
I had planned on catching her myself, but I honestly didn't feel like it. The midwife caught her and laid her down below me. I literally dozed off with my head on the bed for a couple of minutes (turns out it wasn't that long, and just felt like it to me), so relieved it was over and to hear my baby cry. I then got with it, and leaned down and picked up my perfect baby and was able to nurse her right away. I delivered the placenta and climbed into bed and nursed her for an over an hour. She was already a pro!
It was the most amazing experience of my life. The pain was awful, but I wouldn't change a moment of it for anything. I'm so glad that I was able to do this, and I felt so empowered. I was amazed with myself and my body's ability to do what it needed to do. I was so grateful that I could do it however I wanted, no rules like you have in the hospital. All three of my births were beautiful, but this is what I always wanted... it was so much more than I ever could have imagined. I was allowed to let my body do what it needed to do, I wasn't strapped to a bed or denied foeod and water, or told I had to stay in a certain position. It was perfect.
And here, 6 months later and knowing I'm done having babies...I'm finding myself sad and wanting to do it over again, just for the experience of birthing at home again
Giving birth at home is a choice. I get that. However, there are huge risks that go along with that choice. As a healthcare professional I can tell you there is no midwife out there who is prepared to save you no matter what. Post-partum hemorrhage can cause you to bleed out in minutes. Childbirth is a risky process, and before modern medicine many women died as a result of giving birth. While it's true that childbirth is natural, and that many women experience little to no complications, there is always the possibility for something to go horribly wrong.
You can have a natural childbirth in a hospital setting with a midwife present. I don't understand why giving birth at home is worth the risk to you and your unborn child.
Rock on sister! I am SO proud of you for even considering this!
I have been present at both of my sister's two (SAFE, HEALTHY, HAPPY and BEAUTIFUL homebirths) and it was truly an absolute honor and joy to be a part of the experience.
Just last night, our childbirth educator said that in the United States, a hospital is actually the MOST DANGEROUS place to give birth, because they are in such a rush to intervene, to rush you and your baby, and to start the waterfall of complications (that NEVER needed to happen) which all too often end up with a baby in the NICU who never would have been if left alone, or a C-section that never needed to happen, or even something "minor" like a forceps delivery/episiotomy b/c hospital staff were unwilling to wait for the baby to come on his own timetable. ugh. it makes me so angry. Keep doing your research - GIVING BIRTH IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU WILL EVER DO. Make your decisions as informed as you can. Check out other websites, too, if you are looking for a more homebirth-friendly environment. www.mothering.com is one of my favorites.
Good luck and much happiness to you!
xoxo
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1a1ae8.aspx[/img][/url]
I had to click on this, so I am jumping in. There are a lot of misinformed posts on here from people who obviously have no experience or education about homebirth. Midwives are highly trained individuals with strong medical backgrounds. They are prepared for resuscitation, hemorraging, and nearly all work with an OB in case of transfer. My midwife will be prepared in the case of my needing a blood transfusion etc.
I'm saddened by how few women question the level of medical intervention currently practiced in hospital birth. Having a previous hospital birth which led to a c-section, I know that birth in the hospital is treated as an illness or crisis to be resolved not a natural process. There is nothing natural about lying in stirrups and pushing a baby out. Ask yourself why in the world would anyone think that is the most conducive way to birth a child?
Medical intervention and hospital birth is great for those who truly need it, but less than 10% of mothers need fetal monitoring and intervention. Yet nearly all mothers birthing in a hospital have some form of intervention or augmentation. It's disturbing.
A pp mentioned mothering.com, which is a great resource if you are interested in homebirth. You might also be interested in the documentary Orgasmic Birth or the book Pushed. Good luck!
WhooHoo this is my first post. Anyways, my daughter was born in '06 in a hospital. They did not realize that her cord was wrapped around her neck and while I was trying to push her out it was tightening. I started pushing at 10 am and finally pushed her out at 10:45. They had to revive her, so even in a hospital with all of their fancy gadgets they cannot prevent something like that from happening. She was revived and spent 4 days in the INCU. They said that she would have to stay a min. of 10 days, but being the strong, beautiful girl she is she got her color back and started raising her head within 3 but they wanted to keep her for an extra day. The day after I gave birth they accused me of taking drugs while I was pregnant, and said that they could call the social services to take my baby away from me. They said that there were barbituites ( sorry don?t know the spelling) in her urine. I always called and asked my doctor what over the counter things I could take, and I had a root canal so I took something that the dentist gave me after clearing with my doctor. I am not a drug person, at all. SO ANYWAYs the point to my way too long intro is that no matter where you decide to birth things can go wrong just as much as they can go right. I am going to a midwife for my next birth, my man has already decieded that one. I was completely natural for my first and I believe in myself enough to know that I can do it again. In my opinion to ensure that you have the safest birth, you just need to exercise and be healthy. Lots of good sex and stretching is the best way
Someone should have told the hospital staff that when I was trying to give birth to my son- I asked them to turn off the pitocin repeatedly and was promptly ignored. It was doing nothing but causing me to lose focus, but they kept it on because it was their normal procedure.
edit: I wish I'd had a home birth- the birth center I went was basically a hospital with curtains, and then they transferred me to the actual hospital when my labor exceeded the average.
This is what I want for my next birth.
We planned a homebirth but ended up having to get induced at 23 days past due bc of the results of our BPP tests. Our midwife did all our prenatal and post partum care and was with us in the hospital for the birth. She and the women she works with are great and when we had to go to the hospital for induction, she made arrangements with a great OB who used to teach Bradley classes, trained as a midwife, etc. She was very supportive of giving us the most natural and homelike birth in the hospital.
Research your midwives carefully though, talk to other moms that have used them. Our midwife had to "rescue" a woman whose midwife went on vacation without leaving her someone to contact if she went into labor...the woman looked up our midwife in the phonebook to come to her birth! Our midwife has 2 apprentices, 1 assistant, and another midwife that isn't fulltime with her staff but they help each other out a lot with birth bc they used to work together and their coverage areas overlap.
Morgan's Birth Story: http://www.fullcirclemidwifery.com/2009/06/morgans-birth/
Chloe's Birth Story: http://www.fullcirclemidwifery.com/2012/04/chloes-birth/
I just want to state for the record that born at home doesn't equal homebirth. The NICU nurse said she has seen many babies born at home that almost died...for one, just bc they are born at home, doesn't mean it was on purpose or planned with a midwife. If it just happens, yes a lot can go wrong. #2, why in the world would someone bring in their healthy baby that was born at home? Of course they are going to bring in the ones that need extra medical help.
One of the major factors in our decision to go with a midwife and specifically the one we choose was a family friend of ours. She has 6 kids. The first was home birth that needed transfered for C-section bc of distress. Second born in hospital (she was a little scared to do another homebirth) and was a c-section (no vbacs at that hospital). The last 4 were homebirth. All was well even though they were VBACs.
A good MW can deal with breech babies (or knows how turn them), has meds to stop bleeding, equip for resuciating, etc.
Morgan's Birth Story: http://www.fullcirclemidwifery.com/2009/06/morgans-birth/
Chloe's Birth Story: http://www.fullcirclemidwifery.com/2012/04/chloes-birth/
Yes I was, but its not legal yet in the state of Alabama...lame right?... I did talk to a home birthing midwife in Fl (30 min away) and i would have to use my inlaws house (which im so not comfortable with!)
So i looked into Birthing centers... again NOT in Al... super lame... So i have a midwife here in Al that births in a hospital. we will stick with the birthing plan as much as the hospital will alow (because as u know from the documentary and the book the legality of it all)
I know in AZ indipendent birthing centers legally have to be so many min from the hospital and it takes that same amount of time for the hospital to prepare for an emergancy C-Section anyways so ur never in any danger. Probably the same thing for homebirths. which if you live in a metro area probly not a big deal.
as a midwife will tell u ur plan for birthing may change and they r ok with that too cuz u have to be comfortable with how YOU r going to birth cuz its gonna be all u!
good luck!
Wow I am amazed at how quickly everyone is to judge homebirths & widwives! Long before hospitals were invented (beginning of the century), babies were born using midwives, not to mention the rest of the modern world primarily uses midwives and they have a lower mortality rate than the US! The majority of midwives in the US are Nurse-Midwives, meaning they went to nursing school & became licensed RN's before going on to midwifery school. These women have the same knowledge & experience as any nurse & doctor in the hospital do. The only difference is that your doctor is actually a surgeon, so he/she can perform that c-section.
The Business of Being Born was produced by Rikki Lake who had 1 hospital birth & then did homebirth the 2nd time around. Her perspective on this topic is very interesting & these women did their research. Even if you are against homebirth & midwives, I HIGHLY recommend watching this documentary. It is very informative & it's refreshing to hear another side to giving birth other than scheduled c-sections & doped up women in labor.
While I am still undecided which route I will go, I will do thorough research on what's available in my area before making the final decision.
Ladies - I urge you to know your facts before answering a thread like this one. It's ok if you're against homebirth...but don't go scaring a mother-to-be without knowing the facts first.
This is my homebirth story:
It's really long and very detailed because I wrote it for myself and because I want to remember everything! I don't think people get to hear truly positive birth stories very often, so I wanted to share our experience.
Roscoe?s official due date was May 31st. A little back-story includes the fact that our doula had an out of town trip scheduled for the 21st through the 25th, and that my Grandparent's were visiting from Hawaii, but headed back home on the 21st as well. If we gave birth while Lori was away we would have had to use her backup so our fingers were crossed that he would come before or after her trip. As for my grandparent's, Roscoe is their first great grandchild so of course they were hoping he'd arrive while they were in town.
On Monday evening (May 18th) I set out on my usual 3-mile walk. On the way back I was feeling really tired and sorry I hadn't taken a shorter route. Later that night I felt really stiff and sore and figured I might have overdone it. Despite our initial plan to clean the house, go grocery shopping (our cupboards were practically bare), and make our bed per the instructions of our midwife, I was feeling so out of it that we decided to go to bed instead.
The next morning I felt more pressure in my pelvis, and found it increasingly difficult to comfortably walk around the house. In particular, my lower back was getting tighter and tighter. I began telecommuting up in the loft a little before 9:00 am, sat in on a conference call at 12:00 pm, and took my lunch at 1:00. Around the same time I felt a couple painless period-like cramps, not unlike those I'd been experiencing for weeks. I set my alarm for 25 minutes in order to take a quick snooze and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the couch pillow. Not more than ten minutes later I woke to a flow of warm water and quickly realized it was my water breaking. I made it to the bathroom just in time for a big gush of amniotic fluid, and awesomely, my back pain was instantly relieved, my belly seemed smaller, and I felt great! Despite the early signs of progress noted in previous weeks, Andy and I had tried to maintain the realistic expectation that Roscoe might arrive after his due date, so I was actually pretty shocked to be in labor at 38 weeks, 2 days. A rush of adrenaline simultaneously brought on tears and the shakes.
I first called Andy at work. When he answered I blurted out that my water had just broken, and he asked if I was kidding. Tearfully, I said ?no?. He responded with a few sweet words and I could tell he was excited. We got off the phone exchanging ?I Love Yous? and a joyful ?Oh my god, we?re having a baby TODAY!? Andy left work and headed home knowing it would be at least an hour as he needed to stop by CVS to pick up an antibiotic for group beta strep. With rush hour fast approaching I next called Susan (our midwife), then Lori (our Doula). At that point, I had not yet had any contractions so I was told to go about my day, and to give Susan a call in a couple hours to let her know how we were doing. She said that if contractions didn't begin within the next 12 to 18 hours we would discuss how to proceed, but added that she hoped we'd have our baby by then.
So! After signing off at work, and considering my good luck in timing my leave (I had only worked from home for 2.5 days), I raced around to tidy the house (we had company coming!) and started some last minute loads of laundry while I waited for both Andy to get home from work, and for the contractions to begin.
When the first real contraction came I called Susan for a little pep talk (the first and last) and said something along the lines of, "I know we planned this natural birth and all....but....uh...these contractions kinda hurt. I'm worried!" She reminded me that they would continue to get stronger but that I would acclimate to the pain as my labor progressed. While on the phone I had another contraction more painful than the first, and said, "Oooh, that one was worse." In a calm and steady, matter of fact way, she said. "No. That one was BETTER, it was STRONGER!" Which reminded me to reframe the pain, and gave me a smile. Just one of the many reasons why Susan is awesome!
By the time Andy arrived around 3:00 pm I had experienced only three contractions. He had downloaded a contraction timing App a few days earlier (there's one for everything!), and by 3:30 pm Andy's iPhone showed my contractions coming every three to five minutes.
So there we were at the beginning of DC rush hour, with my midwife (in Maryland) and my doula (in Sterling) on the wrong side of traffic. Susan and Lori kept reminding me that first labors average 20 hours. They were very laid-back and in no rush to head out onto I95. My mom was in labor for 8 hours with me, 1.5 hours with my sister, and 1.1 hours with my brother. My labor was progressing as quickly and I was beginning to worry about the timing of the birth team's arrival to our house. I told them I'd call them if anything changed.
Initially, Andy helped me manage my pain with counter pressure moves we had learned in our Bradley class. Eventually, those were not at all helpful, and I did what felt best which at the time was to simply rock and breathe through each contraction. Lori suggested I drink a glass of wine and head upstairs to take a bath. I didn't drink the wine, but I did get in the tub; the heat felt nice, but lying down was uncomfortable. Andy and I then hopped in the shower but didn't stay long because I just didn?t find it very helpful which was disappointing because I had heard such great things about laboring in water. I redressed and we headed back downstairs.
In preparation for labor, Andy and I had created an exhaustive list of activities to keep us busy in the early stages. They ran the gamut from going to the grocery store to buy supplies for Roscoe?s birthday cake, to taking a hike at the local park, or watching video from our wedding. I entered the active stage of labor within an hour or so of my first contraction, to our dismay we never had a chance to implement the list! At one point, Andy suggested that we sit outside in the sun and maybe take a little stroll. That sounded nice. Just as we were headed for the door, the first of my transitional contractions began, and there was no going anywhere but upstairs for the final phase of labor. I called the birth team again and they were on their way!
I went back to our bedroom and labored for a little while, and around 4:30 I wanted Lori?s ETA?I was more than ready for some additional labor support. Andy called and she was only about 15 minutes away. I crawled into my bed just as she arrived.
Soon after, I started to bear down and Lori mouthed to Andy that we would have a baby SOON! When Susan arrived around 5:20 pm, I remember seeing her walk through our bedroom door, but I barely acknowledged her; laboring between the time that I went upstairs to take a bath, and Roscoe?s actual birth was quite a blur. I was definitely in my birthing zone, and completely giving in to the experience. My body led the way and I intuitively followed.
The transition from labor contractions to pushing contractions was for me the strangest part of Roscoe's birth. At this stage, the contractions began with rhythmic cramping pain but at the height of the contraction started a completely involuntary squeeze that, in the words of my doula, "is like throwing up backward!" It was kind of awkward and I found myself fighting the contractions. Up until that point I had been practically silent, but with direction from Lori I began vocalizing with each exhalation, which really helped me to focus and relax. After several contractions I had it figured out and headed to the bathroom for what would become my first true pushing contraction. I pushed only once with each of the next few contractions, and alternated between the bathroom and our bedroom for routine fetal monitoring.
When my labor had progressed to the point where I was pushing three times with each contraction, I instinctively retreated to our darkened bathroom after declaring ?I want to be alone". I pushed over the toilet for the next 40 minutes and every so often someone from the birth team would poke their head in to offer water, or support. They also checked the baby's heart rate periodically. Otherwise, I was left to labor as I pleased. Andy, Susan, and Lori kept each other company in our bedroom. Around this time, Mel, our photographer, showed up. She had driven from Richmond (about an hour and twenty minutes away) and had timed her arrival perfectly.
With each contraction I could feel Roscoe moving down, and I could see my belly changing shape. I felt like I was getting somewhere so I asked Susan to check me for the first (and last) time. She said that I was making good progress. With the very next contraction Lori said she could see Roscoe's head and asked me if I wanted to touch it. I did and it felt wet, and squishy!
I squatted there in the bathroom and was prepared to give birth, but in an effort to avoid tearing, my midwife suggested we move into the bedroom and try a different position. I had several contractions kneeling in a "proposal" position, and then it was time for Roscoe to make his debut!
I laid back with Andy behind me, and pushed several times. At one point, I felt some burning and Susan suggested I breathe through the contractions instead of pushing with them. She also noted that Roscoe?s head was asynclitic, which means that it was tilted to the side. Instead of the back-top of his head coming out first, the side-top was leading the way. Susan helped reposition his head at the end, which alleviated some of the burning. Lori offered a mirror so we could see Roscoe crowning. The next thing I remember, was reaching down to pull baby Roscoe up onto my belly. His umbilical cord was on the shorter side so I could only pull him up to a certain point, but he locked eyes with us and, like a little animatronic baby, his dark gray eyes opened and closed in unison. He was brand new, beautiful, foreign yet familiar at the same time. Andy and I were awestruck. Roscoe?s apgar scores were 8 and 9. We invited my sister and my mom to come upstairs, and everyone chatted while waiting for the placenta to be delivered before Andy cut the cord.
When I attempted to breastfeed he latched immediately.
Roscoe was wrapped in a blanket and handed to Andy while I took a shower and got dressed. We climbed into bed, a new family of three, and waited for our visitors to arrive. First came Roscoe?s Grandpa, then his other set of Grandparents, and two sets of Great Grandparents. When everyone else went downstairs to enjoy the meal my mom and my sister had specially prepared, Andy and I were given time to ourselves to eat and hang out with our son.
Roscoe was born in our bedroom at 7:54 pm after 5 hours and 23 minutes of labor. He weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces, and was 19 inches long. I didn't tear at all. Giving birth at home was calm, intimate, and empowering above all else. I loved everything about it, from beginning to end. Particularly the time Andy and I spent together before the birth team arrived, and the fact that I got to call the shots and labor how and where I wanted. Roscoe's birth was everything we had hoped for and more. I cannot wait to do it again!
A few surprises included the fact that I preferred to labor alone during the pushing phase. I didn?t want an audience, and I couldn?t have predicted that prior to the actual event.
Also, while we did not implement so much of what we learned during our Bradley course, I absolutely believe that it was instrumental in setting the tone for the kind of birth we wanted, preparing us emotionally and mentally for labor, and for working together as a team to bring Roscoe into the world. The confidence and excitement we had going into the experience really made it for us.
Lastly, many people thought we were crazy for hiring a photographer to document our birth experience. In reality it was one of the best decisions we made. Hands down. As the laboring woman, you miss so much because you have only one perspective. Mel captured things that were happening in other rooms of our home; sweet, sentimental moments that I could not have experienced if it weren?t through the photos she took. Furthermore, anyone who?s ever taken a Bradley course knows that you get to see many, many, MANY births on video. To tell you the truth, some of my absolute favorite pictures are of Roscoe literally being born. It is AMAZING to see your own body work in that way. As for my comfort level with being photographed at such an intense time, mothers will tell you that your modesty goes out the window during birth, but what I found was that I hardly noticed Mel was there. If you ask her, she?ll tell you that it was the most intrusive she?s ever felt behind her lense, but from our end we couldn?t have been more at ease, comfortable in our own space.
**My advice is to go with your gut. Everyone has an opinion but only you know what's best for you and your family. Do your research, and feel confident in your decision. Parenting your LO starts now!
Yikes! No kids yet, just TTC, but I'm surprised at the ferocity on this posting. A saying I heard in Economics comes to mind: "Anecdotes are not evidence."