Moms of 2: anyone else feel this way?

MoRoseT

Anyone else feel that you are a better mom to each of your kids individually, but kind of not so much to the both of them together?  Does that make sense?

When I am with each child alone, I just have so much more patience and just feel like a better mother.  But when they are together and being a toddler and babe at their worst, my patience wears very thin.....VERY fast.  And I just feel like a completely shittastic mother.

You would think I would be doing better with this since DS is getting older....and I am, but I just don't feel like I will ever feel like a GOOD mom to both of them.

Anyone else feel this way?  Or am I the only wierd one?

 

bugmommy

I feel like when I'm with each one of them individually (or when DH or other help is here) I get to parent.  The rest of the time it just feels like attempting to survive.  My sons still don't play well together - they never want to do the same activity, the older one takes things from the younger one, etc.  I keep hoping it will get better as the little one gets older and then I think it will get easier to do things as a group.

LittleMamaB

Yes...sometimes it feels like they "gang up" on purpose, too.

MoRoseT

Yup, this is EXACTLY how I feel...I feel like I am always in survival mode. And I am tired of it! I want to feel like I have it all together at some point when I am with the both of them. : (

bugmommy:

I feel like when I'm with each one of them individually (or when DH or other help is here) I get to parent.  The rest of the time it just feels like attempting to survive.  My sons still don't play well together - they never want to do the same activity, the older one takes things from the younger one, etc.  I keep hoping it will get better as the little one gets older and then I think it will get easier to do things as a group.

squishywife

i like when i put them to bed individually and we read our books.  it's a time i make sure to do every night because it makes me feel like i am making up for any shittastic parenting from the day.  my 2 year old loves to pick her 5 bedtime books and my 16 mon is finally starting to like the reading thing (which is uber important to me).

when they are together - my patience is thin too!

Marce921

You girls are not helping my WANT for a #2.

KoriBrett

I just posted about this a week or 2 ago lol

I'm a great mom of one.  A horrid mom of 2.  We get through the day and survive, but that's about it.

It will get better as DS gets older and less needy, but right now he's so active and curious (as in, people call him a holy terror)....  I'm just a referee lately.

shellbug79

I'm sure that every mother feels this way, at least at some point.  It's also why I believe they say going from 1 to 2 is the hardest.  Once we finally figure things out then it all changes again!  Your first is also used to having Mommy/Daddy all to their selves & having to share is no fun.  Eventually we will get used to it & it will get easier, especially once they are both older.  My mom had 5 kids, I now understand why she had little patience at times!

Michelle

DaiLyght

I feel this way all the time. It seems to be getting worse recently b/c DS2 is into everything and has already destroyed three more things by the time I take away the first one. Then they start to tag-team me and I really lose my cool. It can make me feel like an awful person before 10am.

aprilmomtobe

bugmommy:

I feel like when I'm with each one of them individually (or when DH or other help is here) I get to parent.  The rest of the time it just feels like attempting to survive. 

This is exactly how I feel!

Marchmamma

You are not alone.  Right now DD#1 is pushing my buttons non stop and it is driving me batty!  I feel bad for DD#2 because I was more understanding when DD#1 was little.

lsufan

Want to feel like a good mom to 2? ?Have a 3rd. ?:) ?I felt exactly the same way with 2, and it's even worse with 3 of them. ?But these days when I just have 2 of them, it's like a vacation.

Seriously, though, it gets better. ?Once my older two were on the same schedule, I felt like I had things under control a little better. ?I feel bad for saying this, but I can't wait until my newborn gets older and we can all 4 do activities without me having to stop and nurse him, change a diaper every 5 seconds, etc.

2beJessieD

Survival mode is a great way to put it.  I'm so tired of being biitchy with them and not being able to enjoy them together.  My house is a mess, it never feels like I get anything done & by the time DH gets home from work I pretty much want to run screaming from the house.

At least it's not just me, I was really starting to beat myself up about this!

niecy

It really depends on what phase/mood DS is in. He's usually really well behaved and plays independently all the time, which helps me a ton because I'm tending to the baby all the time. BUT, if he's in rare form it's survival mode and I'm totally crabby to everyone. I hate that feeling but try not to beat myself up. I'm doing the best that I can and my kids don't want for anything, that's all I can ask for.

WBs_Bride

2beJessieD:

Survival mode is a great way to put it.  I'm so tired of being biitchy with them and not being able to enjoy them together.  My house is a mess, it never feels like I get anything done & by the time DH gets home from work I pretty much want to run screaming from the house.

At least it's not just me, I was really starting to beat myself up about this!

This is how I feel, word for word.