Do you think this is normal 3.5 yr old behavior?

reynah

I am actually kinda nervous to post this question. My ds1 says things that are starting to concern me. He will say things like, "I'm gonna cut your head off," in a joking tone or, "I'm gonna step on you with my foot and get you," just little comments like that.  

It's obvious when he says these comments that he is just making them up as he thinks of them b/c a lot of the times they don't make any sense. Ex: "I'm gonna take your undies and put them on your face and put them on the house outside".... and just start making words up to say. I have started to write them down when he says them.

We don't talk like that around him, but I think he is just being curious and doesen't really know what he's actually saying? IDK though. I got laid off so he does not go to daycare anymore (about 6 weeks now) so he's not hearing these comments anywhere.

It's not all the time either, maybe just a couple of times a day. Do you think this is normal 3.5 year old talking?

xbrooklyngrl

Could he be watching something where he'd pick that up?

docmay25

Sounds like maybe he is picking it up from tv?  Or does he have any older friends/cousins that he is around?  My ds picks up a lot from my nephew and neices who are elementary age.  He has started to talk about dying and killing when playing with his action figures because he gets it from my older nephew.  I just tell him we don't talk like that or use those words, but I don't make a big deal out of it.

reynah

xbrooklyngrl:

Could he be watching something where he'd pick that up?

Hmm... that is actually a thought. We lay down with him on the couch and watch our shows around 8-8:30pm before he goes to bed. We watch whatever we want and don't 'guard' it b/c he is usually drowsy so I didn't really think he paid attention..... guess that will end tonight.

 

4Speedy

My DD is coming up on 3.5 yo and she does the same thing.  I am glad you posted this because I have been very reluctant to mention it because my DD makes statements that are even more violent.  She'll say things like "I'm going to punch you in the face."  I am concerned both about the degree of violence and the fact that she is so specific about her 'threats"  She says things like this both when she is mad/frustrated with me but also when it clearly doesn't make sense, so I am not sure what to make out of it.  I have no advice to offer, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

Maybe a mom of a 4 or 5 year old could tell us if their DC went through this, how they managed it (my DD gets a time out every ime she speaks to me disrespectfully) and how long the "phase" lasted?  And maybe  a mom of an older child (teen or older) could assure us their kid went through this phase and didn't grow up to be a serial killer?!

reynah

docmay25:

He has started to talk about dying and killing when playing with his action figures 

This actually makes me feel slightly better. I know boys can be rough and play differently than girls, but the only other children I am ever around is my neice who is 5 that is very girly and sweet. Kisses and hugs her dolls, things like that.

reynah

4Speedy:

My DD is coming up on 3.5 yo and she does the same thing.  I am glad you posted this because I have been very reluctant to mention it because my DD makes statements that are even more violent.  She'll say things like "I'm going to punch you in the face."  I am concerned both about the degree of violence and the fact that she is so specific about her 'threats"  She says things like this both when she is mad/frustrated with me but also when it clearly doesn't make sense, so I am not sure what to make out of it.  I have no advice to offer, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

Maybe a mom of a 4 or 5 year old could tell us if their DC went through this, how they managed it (my DD gets a time out every ime she speaks to me disrespectfully) and how long the "phase" lasted?  And maybe  a mom of an older child (teen or older) could assure us their kid went through this phase and didn't grow up to be a serial killer?!

YES, Caleb says things exactly like that! It ALWAYS starts with, "I'm gonna...."

I am so glad I posted this. Thank you all.

true_norskie

I know for a fact that DD is picking up on this "language" at daycare, but she always says stuff that she KNOWS will get a rise out of us. 

She got a little stuffed Grimace in a Happy Meal the other day and after playing with him lay him on his face and said, "Grimace is dead."  She has NO clue what that means. (DH and I had to stifle a laugh because they way she said it was hilarious)

She sees the boys in her class doing things like that, and I'm sure they get a rise (and attention) out of the teacher so she is testing to see what kind of reaction she gets at home for the same behavior.

She also turns a lot of things into "shooters" (aka guns) and tells me that she's going to shoot me.  Again, she has NO idea what it means.  I doubt she's seen a gun (aside from maybe a toy or two) to even know what a "shooter" really is.  They don't allow "playing guns" at daycare so I have a feeling it is just to get a reaction.

I personally think DD is just testing boundaries and reactions.  She tells me I'm mean, that she doesn't love me, that she's not my friend...I sort of group it together in a self-discovery, independent stage.

dpdw

DS is 3.5 & says similar things.  He "learned" about guns from a daycare boy who's parents let him watch Star Wars, but I might have made it worse by letting him watch Cat in the Hat where one character loses her job & the boss screams, "You're fired!"  So he runs around "firing" at everyone.  My 4 y.o. nephew has started calling his other cousin a "dirty hoe" & my 2.5 y.o. neice has been overheard telling her dolls, "I'll get you & it'll look like a bloody accident." -- all Cat in the Hat quotes.  So hard not to lmao. 

At this age they pick up everything they hear, but they don't know what it means.  I tell DS that in our house we don't talk that way, or play with guns, or talk fresh (whatever the offending behavior is).  And my sister & I have both banned Cat in the Hat at our houses.

mauceddie

My dd is 3.5 and hasn't ever said anythinglike that, but then again she's a girl. One of my  friend's kids constantly talk about potty humour. I'm going to poop on your head, etc. I wouldn't worry about it, just remind him that some things are not nice to say, and leave it at that.