Holy cow, where do I start?

Borst-Plotz

I know I've posted this before but now it seems so real! We can't do an IUI this cycle because my estrogen is too low, so that means we are going ahead with foster care/adoption! Yeah! I have a couple questions:

A.) This is for a friend. My friend, C, wants to throw us a shower before we get a placement. I'm fine with this but has anyone else done this? I thought we could get a few essentials and I'd be nice to get everyone together and kind of explain what we're doing. I talked to her about doing one once we have gone through adoption but then I think we may have everything we already need (or close to) Anyone else done this?

B.) How did you prepare yourself and your home? I've checked out some books from the library and later we plan on looking at buying some essentials. I have no idea where to even start.

C.) Is it normal to be scared you won't get licensed? We have a clean record, would make great parents, etc. but I always have this fear in the back of my mind that we'll be denied. Do you guys feel this way? Is that normal? Do many people not get licensed?

D.) Any other advice?!

come*on*baby

A - my friends threw me a surprise shower the day after our final Saturday class. We got all basic stuff - car seat, stroller, high chair, blankets, bath stuff, etc. The hostesses knew our age range so that helped.

B - we bought Baby Bargains to choose the safest products. we also baby proofed our house - mainly the kitchen. 

C - Yes it is normal to be scared you won't get licensed. At first we were with a very picky agency - only worked with 50 families and we were scared we wouldn't get picked. Out of the couples in our class - we're the only ones left after 2 years.  

D - my biggest advice is - don't take the children out on the first night they arrive. if you have family near, have someone lined up to go purchase what you need from your list (always provide the list). the children normally show up with nothing - absolutely nothing. 

lilmufish

Borst-Plotz:

A.) This is for a friend. My friend, C, wants to throw us a shower before we get a placement. I'm fine with this but has anyone else done this? I thought we could get a few essentials and I'd be nice to get everyone together and kind of explain what we're doing. I talked to her about doing one once we have gone through adoption but then I think we may have everything we already need (or close to) Anyone else done this?

We will hopefully be licensed this fall...  We have not had a shower, I don't expect one either.  We really having shared with many people...we're waiting until we become licensed. Instead, we have been slowly picking stuff each week and going to garage sales, second hand stores and baby mania sales all the time. We try to pick up 3-5 things each week.  We will be fostering infant to six years old, so we are trying to buy games, books, toys for all ages. This weekend, we purchased a water proof mattress cover, and two waterproof covers to go on the two twin beds in our kids' room. Last week I purchased two bedspreads for the twin beds. So, slowly but surely. We are also picking up clothes (I have an inventory list) when we see them on clearance or on a deeply discounted sale.  We hope, that we won't have to go out the first few days we receive a placement, that we can adjust, then go out and get stuff.  

Borst-Plotz:

  B.) How did you prepare yourself and your home? I've checked out some books from the library and later we plan on looking at buying some essentials. I have no idea where to even start.

1. I asked as many questions as I could on this board.

2. Started following blogs, to see real life stories and experiences.

3. We made lists...lol. Seriously though, that's the only way we could keep track of what we needed to do/buy/etc.  We have our

• "to do list" which we try to cross off one or two items a week off of. This is our required list from our agency (finger prints, changing door knobs, replacing batteries in smoke detectors, creating a disaster kit/plan, etc)
  
• "we'd like to do to to the house before children" list which includes painting, etc. 
  
• "toy" list - which includes toys/games for each age
• Clothing inventory -  shows what we have, and what we still need to buy!

Borst-Plotz:

 

C.) Is it normal to be scared you won't get licensed? We have a clean record, would make great parents, etc. but I always have this fear in the back of my mind that we'll be denied. Do you guys feel this way? Is that normal? Do many people not get licensed?

yes, it's normal. No worries!  

Our agency has a three way process.

Agency denies you - there's counseling out.
You deny agency - you discuss what could be different.
Both decide it's not a good fit.

They are constantly asking those questions...It's important, to discuss things along the way, ask questions research what is told to you. I had alot of things that were told to me by my first agency, and when I changed over I found out that they just said things to scare people away.   Talk to your family development specalist/social worker, about your fears and concerns, after all you want to make sure you're making the best decision for you and your family.

 We have had a 1/3 of the participants drop out of our PRIDE classes...because it was their choice, that this wasn't a good path for them. Our caseworker told us that they counsel people out, but their main reasons are it's because they lie about expenses, refuse to sign the no spanking, etc form or they come back with having a background. 

Borst-Plotz:

D.) Any other advice?!

Communicate with your significant other. Make sure you two are on the same page...always!  Don't push each other one way or another, allow each other to be where they're comfortable with...other wise there will be resentment down the road.

Good luck!
Welcome aboard!

GLynn2009

Good luck on your journey. Everyone is scared I think, so talk it out and things will go good.