Feeling very empty!

abby&raul

We had a miscarriage on July 23, 2009. It was my first so I had no idea what was going on. I started to cramp and bleed. At first it was light bleeding and cramping but then it increased. My DH and I went to the ER at 3:30, I had to wait 45 min to be seen. I had to give urine and blood samples, then I had to have a ultrasound a pelvic and vaginal. After 5 hours of waiting they confirmed what i already knew. They told me I had an incomplete miscarriage and sent me home. Then a week later on Friday, I went back the the ER because I had a fever of 103. I was no longer cramping but still bleeding. On the 31st I had to go through all of the tests I did on the 23rd, but this time they sent me home with antibotics and motrin. They also referred me to an obgyn. So Monday I called the doctor and got an appointment for the 4th to come in.

At that point I thought I had emotional moved past the point of being sad about the loss, but I was wrong because on Tuesday while I was waiting for the doctor in the waiting room I burst into tears in front of everyone, because the room full of really really pregnant women had gotten to me. The doctor told me I still had tissue left inside my uterus and so i was booked for a d&c the next morning on the 5th of August at 8 am. So I couldn't eat or drink after 9pm that night, which was fine. The surgery only took 20 mintues, they knocked me out. We were home by 11 am. I was drowsy and dizzy, but i wasn't in pain in my abdominal area.

 An hour later I started to have a temperature of 99 but I was shaking uncontrollably and climbed to 103. I called the nurse who helped with the surgery and she said take a vicadin, i have no idea why, but I did. It of course, didn't work so I took a motrin an hour or two later. My temperature went away but in the evening when i tried to take my antibotic and another motrin I started vomitting alot. Anyway it too stopped, but I had the worst expirence and I hope I don't have to do that again. I just wish the ER doctor gave me the option of a d&c on the first visit because now I am not only stuck with a pile of bills, but also I am emotionally and physically drained. I had to go through all that pain and we didn't even walk away with our baby.

Now that it is over I feel very empty, confused, and hurt. Although it was only 6 weeks that I carried the baby, I still loved it with all of my heart. The site of a newborn still makes me want to cry. I just want to know how long will it take to feel happy again. My heart breaks more everyday.

Mrs.EmmaLouise

Im so sorry you had to go through all of that.  Dragging out the physically healing part can definatly make it difficult for anyone.  I hope now that it is all done with you will start feeling better soon.  ((BIG HUGS))  We are all here for you if you need to talk/vent/or have questions.

p.s.- vicodin has acetamethpin in it just like tylenol, so that can bring down a fever.

Mrs.Mugsie

I am so sorry you had to go through all of that.  What an awful experience.  I can't answer your question on when it stops hurting because I am not there yet either.  I did want to say that this board is a great place for support and to talk about things.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

nan320

Your experience sounds really awful. I don't blame you for feeling hurt still. I am only a week from my D&C and am still sorting out my feelings. The things that set me off seem a little crazy (eating! I am sad that I'm only eating for myself and not to nourish my baby) but I find them getting better gradually. I have set my goal on TTC again, which is only a couple months away. Once I'm there, I will be as healed as I can expect and I will move on to the next challenge.

Best wishes