Overbearing MILs- kinda long rant.

bklyn_trini

Ok, this baby will be grandchild #1 for both sides.  My mom, a retired RN, is excited but normally so.  DH's mom is waaaay excited.  We planned to not tell anyone until we were 3mos in, but DH couldn't keep it to himself and had to tell his mom.  I didn't mind just as long as MIL kept it to herself until we were comfortable with others knowing.  Well, she didn't!  She told him she would respect our wishes and then proceeded to call everyone in the family and let them know.  God forbid if something had gone wrong.  I'd be so hurt. 

 Anyway, we just got back from visitng MIL in Florida and she was super beyong excited.  I'll admit, I'm not the overly enthusiastic type and I'm not touchy feely either.  I worked hard to hold in my disgust thru the whole trip.  Not only did she keep rubbing my belly, which I find a bit much, she also ran around telling the world I was PG.  The cable guy came to fix the cable, she told him.  We went to Walmart, she told the cashier.  Every conversersation referenced the baby.  It was so much, I wanted to scream, this is not your baby.  But I didn't, I held my tongue.  

Now she wants to sell her home in Florida and move back to NY to be "closer to family."  She moved to FL 12 yrs ago after selling her home in NY.  She's making our first vacation plans with the baby so she can be there.  It's all too much.  I feel like a mother host for her. 

Am I overreacting or is she just being over the top?  

 

Kingston54

Sounds like she's just super excited.  Other than the part where she told others when you asked her not to, seems like she just can't wait for the baby, especially since it's her first.  Just let her go and remember you're in charge   Also, you can tell her you are thinking about moving to FL, haha.

nowmrsbinkc

NO...you are not overreacting - DH needs to reign her in pronto!!!!  Make it clear if she does move closer she should in NO WAY expect to see you all everyday and that your lives won't change to revolve around her.  And the vacation is just sad...you guys should get to decide what your first family vacation is and who (if anyone else) will be with you.  I'm so sorry she's freaking out!  GL!

bklyn_trini

Kingston- I like that- moving to Fl...hehehe

 

Nowmrsbinkc- Good advice-  I've voiced my concerns to DH and I've told him, I'm not the surrogate mother to your mom's 3rd child. lol.  Thanks for the advice!

nowmrsbinkc

And I didn't mean the vacation was sad...I meant I'd be sad if my MIL (or my mom for that matter) did that to me.  GL with her!  I'll cross my fingers she stays in FL! 

bklyn_trini

I didn't take it that way- no worries.  She is outta control!  She'll stay- it may take years before the market rebounds down there.  So I've got at least a few years. 

hriesen4

You may be overreacting a little, but I know EXACTLY how you feel.  My MIL is the same way.  We have it worse; she lives 5 mins away!  She drops by unannounced at all hours of the day.  I lock the doors now, too.  If I don't answer (God forbid I'm showering or napping), she'll let herself in!!!  She was over Tues, Wed, Th, Fri, and Sat last week.  On Sat, I broke down and had a major sobfest.  I told DH he had to handle her....which he told her that she couldn't keep coming over like that.

DH graduates in May.  I'm seriously thinking about moving states if he and I both can find jobs.  My only worry is that she'd follow us or come and stay for LONG periods of time.

getnmarried910

nowmrsbinkc:

NO...you are not overreacting - DH needs to reign her in pronto!!!!  Make it clear if she does move closer she should in NO WAY expect to see you all everyday and that your lives won't change to revolve around her.  And the vacation is just sad...you guys should get to decide what your first family vacation is and who (if anyone else) will be with you.  I'm so sorry she's freaking out!  GL!

THIS!!!

getnmarried910

hriesen4:

You may be overreacting a little, but I know EXACTLY how you feel.  My MIL is the same way.  We have it worse; she lives 5 mins away!  She drops by unannounced at all hours of the day.  I lock the doors now, too.  If I don't answer (God forbid I'm showering or napping), she'll let herself in!!!  She was over Tues, Wed, Th, Fri, and Sat last week.  On Sat, I broke down and had a major sobfest.  I told DH he had to handle her....which he told her that she couldn't keep coming over like that.

DH graduates in May.  I'm seriously thinking about moving states if he and I both can find jobs.  My only worry is that she'd follow us or come and stay for LONG periods of time.

Change your locks and don't give her a key!  We have never given MIL a key, not even to watch our dog when we're gone, for this very reason.  She'd be in and snooping through our bills, bank statements, and whatever else she could find.