Love my DH,but his ego is HUGE

pugowner210

(not the first time these types of "discussions" have happened here!)

I told my DH I needed to get a shower before the kids went to bed because I didn't get one all day and he said fine. I purposely didn't take it until it was almost time for my 9 mo's evening bottle because he gets fussy when left with my DH so that is the best time for me to disappear for a few. As I'm leaving my DD starts a tantrum and my DH says to her "Haley, you want your paci?" (we JUST got her willingly leaving her paci in her bed outside of nap and bedtime!!!) so I stopped and said "REALLY????!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and he knew he was in trouble! Somehow Haley fed off my reaction and did not ask for it again, but when we discussed the incident later he told me I micromanage him and he doesn't tell me what to do with the kids all day when he's at work so I should not tell him how to take care of them at night. I told him he's got a huge ego and needs to accept that raising these kids is my full time job and he can leave his ego at the door and please not break rules like this just to take the easy route, which I never get to do! And he said I treat him like a babysitter if he isn't able to make his own decisions, so I told him he is treating himself like a babysitter because a parent's job is to teach their children, a babysitter is the one who takes the easy way because it is NOT their child to teach.

emiliemadison

No offense, but it sounds like you've got an ego, too, when it comes to the kids and how to do things for them.

MarchMom06

Honestly, I wouldn't talk to my DH like that. I view parenting as a job we're sharing, & while we do sometimes disagree on method or approach, we discuss it & try to come up with solutions. I am not the boss or rule maker of our parenting - we're doing it as a team.

Yodajo

I understand what you're saying.  I also understand what your DH is saying.  I feel like I start to micromanage my DH sometimes and I have to stop myself.  Its ok if they don't do things the way we do them.  What would have been the worst thing that happened if she had gotten her pacifier?  That she would have asked for it again the next time she was out of bed?  Annoying, but not a big deal.  Undermining eachother in front of your kids is more damaging, IMO.  I think I would have let it go and then told him later  why that wasn't something you would have offered her and why.  Then let him make his own decision on it next time.  Chances are he would do it differently then.  I

My DH does all sorts of things differently from how I do them.  I keep my mouth shut unless its something that will harm them, like giving the baby something to eat like nuts that he isn't allowed to have yet.  They are their kids too and they shouldn't have to do things only like we do them. 

 

august06mom

Wow, I sure hope your DH isn't this hard on you the next time you don't do things perfectly.

The only giant ego I see in this post is yours.

niecy

emiliemadison:

No offense, but it sounds like you've got an ego, too, when it comes to the kids and how to do things for them.

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