Baptism/Godparent issues WWYD (long)

blendedfammama

So...DS will be Baptised on Aug 23rd.  We chose a couple we are friends with (my best friend, who was MOH in our wedding and her DH).  We love them, she's not Catholic, he is, but she is VERY faithful in the First Church of Christ.  Here's my dilemma, they were so excited before DS was born to be chosen.  Were very supportive the first couple of weeks, came to the hosp., came over the house after.  Now, it's been a month since they've even visited.  She came over on Saturday for literally a minute to pick something up from her scrapbooking stash at my house (we used to do this once a week together b4 DS was born).  On top of that, her DH made a comment at the last friends outing that he didn't want children because he was too selfish.  When we chose them as Godparents we asked them if they wanted this because it includes us putting in our will that should anything happen to us, they would raise our son.  She can't/won't have kids because of family history of cancer at a young age (two sisters died before their 30th bday due to this cancer) and she just found out she has it and can pass it on.  She does want children, but DH doesn't.

SOOOOO with them not being involved hardly at all lately and this additional comment....WWYD

Squishycheeks

I would think that if they were really excited and honored to be chosen--and that they fully understand what their role as godparents would be--I would stick with them. It's possible that they've been really busy lately and just haven't had a chance to visit? Maybe they think that you'd like some private family time right now? Though the husband doesn't want children of his own, it doesn't necessarily mean that he would be incapable of being a good father figure if he had to.

katlizabeth

Have you talked with them about whether they are still willing to take your child if something were to happen?  If that's part of the deal, and they don't want to, I'd find someone else.  However, my ds's Godparents aren't his guardians, so they don't HAVE to be, if you wanted to use them as Godparents and find someone else as guardians, you could still do that.  How does your dh feel about all this? 

blendedfammama

DH is mad for other reasons at the gf right now.  Something about the cars.  We chose them as guardians because DH and I couldn't agree on guardians in our family.  I chose my parents, he wants his mom.  I wouldn't leave DS with her alone.ever.  It's summer time, I'm sure everyone's busy.  But they find time out of scheduled activities to hang out with other couples.  It just seems like because we have a child, we're being forgotten.  IDK  I love them to death and really they were happy to be chosen.  Once they do actually visit, they are in love with him.

Temp159135562506975

it's just like weddings... NOBODY cares as much about your wedding as you do... NOBODY cares as much about your child as you do - but that doesn't mean they are excited for you.

Just b/c they are Godparents, and that you have selected them as guardians doesn't mean they have to be super involved in her life all the time.  People are busy- they don't have tons of time to spend with YOUR baby.

to top it off- babies can be kind of boring - some people just are not into them... they like older kids, etc. 

I don't expect the Godparents of my children to gush over them and come visit all the time.  I also did not name them as guardians.  You should NOT name someone as a guardian that you do not feel 100% comfortable with.  That is a HUGE responsibility.  I would also try to find family to have that role if you can.... friends change over the year- family is always family.