i feel so guilty...

groovygrl

b/c I'm only 35w2d and every day am starting to wish for this to be over even though I know I need to go at least another week to feel more 'safe' with the babies' health... the thought that I might actually go all the way to 38 weeks makes me want to cry. I did so well for the first 33-34 weeks but the last week is putting me over the edge... I just want to be able to feel my hands again & not have them throbbing all night and most of hte day and even though the sleep deprivation will be sooo much worse, to be able to lay down on my back without a million pillows all around me and hopefully no braces on my wrists just seems like it'll never happen again. I'm starting my 10th week of being on house arrest too so that is probably complicating things- even though my OB is more lax about stuff now, I haven't been able to drive for several weeks now b/c I'm too short.. I'm so excited to have a hair appt this week but so frustrated that I have to find a ride and MH takes me to all my dr appts and cant take off more time from work

I want the babies to be as healthy as possible & am obviously going to deal with this as long as needed but I just feel bad thinking that it wouldn't be so bad if my water broke every time I get up to go to the bathroom or whatever. . sorry, just needed to vent...thx... 

ncsubride

I know it is hard and I know how much you just want it over but I promise you want them to stay in as long as possible to ensure you get the healthiest babies you can get.  NICU time is horrible on everyone and going home together after a short hospital stay is the best gift ever.

 

lutzcowgirlie

Listen, those of us who are lucky enough to carry our babies to term all hit that place. I myself spent my entire 36 week appointment in tears, because it just hurt to exist.You spend all day in pain and start to think that everyone would be better off if the babies just came. Wrong. Those babies are in there for a reason. They NEED you.

 

Instead of worrying about how you feel, try to focus on what they are getting - all the time to grow and get healthy. Think about their developing lungs, that get stronger each day. Think about their tiny bodies that keep getting stronger. Think about the fact that if you just suck it up and hang in there you might be lucky enough to spare them those early days of NICU time, and instead simply head home with beautiful, term, healthy children.

 

I know it is hard, but seeing your tiny new children suffer and driving home from the hospital alone will be far, far harder. I didn't think I could do it another day, but I made it to 37w 5d and seeing those babies made it all worth it. You can do this. Hang in there!

sara1014

I *did* cry when I got the call with my c-section date (August 20 which will be 38w2d).  It seems SO far away considering how I'm feeling, but it is best.  I think the tears were partly from the thought of going on like this and from feeling guilty like you're saying.

I'm off driving now too...DH's orders then OB had to go and agree with him! I just can't twist and stuff to see around things - and DH said I was lacking the temperament - that didn't go over too well!

I hope you can find some relief for your hands...I'm not sure what can be done.  Hopefully, it will go away after they're born or you can maybe take some Advil or something to help then.  I can't even imagine.  My joints are sore...but nothing like what you're saying!!

Hang in there.  You're only like a 1/2 week behind me...we can do this!!!  

sfitz0711

Ditto the PP.  You're a few weeks further than I am, but I am dreading the last few weeks already, considering how uncomfortable I am getting.  They are right, we can and will do it because it is for the babies health.  This is the beginning of the selflessness of motherhood.  Good luck, you are so close.