10 days early is NOT a preemie!!

mrshenderson081807

We went to a couple's house for dinner that we met at church. They have a baby born a week before my DS.  The first thing she asked me was why my DS was so much smaller than her baby.  I told her well for one thing, babies come in all sizes just like adults and another thing he was a preemie and low birth weight.  She said "oh my son was premature too". When I asked her how early he was, she replied 10 days.  I thought she meant maybe 10 days before 37 weeks and she clarified that he was due on the 26th and born on the 16th.  I told her that 37 weeks is actually considered full term and that her baby was indeed not premature.  I seriously hope she doesn't go around telling everyone that her baby was a preemie.  

Mommy2Gav

Ugh I have a friend that does that too! She says her nephew was so small at birth bc he was a preemie... No- 6 lbs 8 oz is NOT small and he was born at 38 weeks! Drives me crazy!

TheShellSeeker

Good grief.  People have no clue, do they?!

jehprb

That's right up there with mama's who lament about their healthy fullterm baby needing to be in the NICU for one day for observation or whatever...and then likening it to a preemie mama's experience. Um, so not the same thing as living in there for weeks and months on end with a preemie - gah!

baby X 2!

So then Im not wierd for me not considering mine preemies right? It's always been something DH and I talked about, our babies spent no NICU time and had no issues with the eccpetion of DS's PDA. So we've decided to not title them preemies, that title is reserved for ladies who've been through it, my heart goes out to you all.

southphilly

that's what my dh's boss said-that he knew what it was like bc his full teem baby spent the night in the nicu under bilirubin lights.  then he asked dh if he was "back in the game" mentally, i.e. ready to return to 60 weeks and travel.

2BWEDN2007

I had one of these experiences the other day. I wanted to strangle one of the moms who posted about her "miracle" baby on 0-6. She was born at 34w5d and she keeps commenting how her "miracle baby born 6 weeks early" (who spent all of 10 days in the NICU).

I understand she still had a preemie and a baby with NICU time, but your 34 weeker is NOT a miracle. Your perfectly healthy bundle of joy had a 95%+ chance of survival. A 23 weeker surviving is a miracle......

Aidge

I chalk it up to one of those things where the individual knows only their own situation and thus cannot fathom anyone else's, kwim? It keeps me sane when people say frustrating things.

2BWEDN2007

baby X 2!:

So then Im not wierd for me not considering mine preemies right? It's always been something DH and I talked about, our babies spent no NICU time and had no issues with the eccpetion of DS's PDA. So we've decided to not title them preemies, that title is reserved for ladies who've been through it, my heart goes out to you all.

I'm with you. DD was 36w3d and right before my c-section the nurse kept talking about the fact that she *could* be in the nursery awhile and I *may* go home without her depending on how she does.

The first nurse that said it I ignored, but the 2nd, 3rd and 4th nurse that mentioned it I wanted to strangle. I had a 24 weeker and was in no way concerned about my 36 weeker. I consider DD full-term and personally don't care what anyone else thinks....she is NOT a preemie!

sweetpea18

2BWEDN2007:

I had one of these experiences the other day. I wanted to strangle one of the moms who posted about her "miracle" baby on 0-6. She was born at 34w5d and she keeps commenting how her "miracle baby born 6 weeks early" (who spent all of 10 days in the NICU).

I understand she still had a preemie and a baby with NICU time, but your 34 weeker is NOT a miracle. Your perfectly healthy bundle of joy had a 95%+ chance of survival. A 23 weeker surviving is a miracle......

Okay, this kind of upset me.  I had my baby at 34 weeks and she spent 10 days in the nicu.  That was the longest 10 days of my life and we still have struggles from her being early.  Am I not welcome on this board because I "only" had a 34 weeker and "only" had to deal with the nicu for 10 days?  Is my baby any less of a miracle than yours?!? 

RRHsMom

sweetpea18:

2BWEDN2007:

I had one of these experiences the other day. I wanted to strangle one of the moms who posted about her "miracle" baby on 0-6. She was born at 34w5d and she keeps commenting how her "miracle baby born 6 weeks early" (who spent all of 10 days in the NICU).

I understand she still had a preemie and a baby with NICU time, but your 34 weeker is NOT a miracle. Your perfectly healthy bundle of joy had a 95%+ chance of survival. A 23 weeker surviving is a miracle......

Okay, this kind of upset me.  I had my baby at 34 weeks and she spent 10 days in the nicu.  That was the longest 10 days of my life and we still have struggles from her being early.  Am I not welcome on this board because I "only" had a 34 weeker and "only" had to deal with the nicu for 10 days?  Is my baby any less of a miracle than yours?!? 

I have to admit I was a little taken aback by this post as well and I really do appreciate all of your posts 2BWED that inspire all of us to try again after having a baby in the NICU.  My NICU survivor was only there 17 days but the docs fully admit that they almost lost him several times his first few days.  He was bagged and revived more than once.  I truly feel it is a miracle he is alive and I always label him that way in my siggy.  I know he was a 36 weeker and I do not refer to him as a preemie but he is my amazing survivor and I have always felt welcome to post here and support others who are dealing with oscillators and vents in the NICU.  

 

I think we need to make sure we do not get into the game of trying to say 1 baby is more of a miracle than another on this board bc all of us are here for different reasons but have an amazing bond and support group.  I think what brings us all together is that we have all had a common experience either with dealing with the pain of leaving your  LO in the NICU or the problems many preemies face after they come home.  I fully admit that I am very lucky to not have very many long lasting issues to deal with besides some dev. delays but I have always felt like I belonged here and if we are quantifying how early a baby must be to post here than I am no longer sure I belong and I know of many others who would not be welcome.  

nicnjed

sweetpea18:

2BWEDN2007:

I had one of these experiences the other day. I wanted to strangle one of the moms who posted about her "miracle" baby on 0-6. She was born at 34w5d and she keeps commenting how her "miracle baby born 6 weeks early" (who spent all of 10 days in the NICU).

I understand she still had a preemie and a baby with NICU time, but your 34 weeker is NOT a miracle. Your perfectly healthy bundle of joy had a 95%+ chance of survival. A 23 weeker surviving is a miracle......

Okay, this kind of upset me.  I had my baby at 34 weeks and she spent 10 days in the nicu.  That was the longest 10 days of my life and we still have struggles from her being early.  Am I not welcome on this board because I "only" had a 34 weeker and "only" had to deal with the nicu for 10 days?  Is my baby any less of a miracle than yours?!? 

 

This!  We were in the NICU for 12 days- several of which DS needed CPAP and oxygen.  Breastfeeding wasn't an option for the first 3 weeks.  And, he still doesn't make his milestones at his actual age.  I know that many others had much longer and scarier rides, but in no way does that make any preemie and/or NICU experience trivial.  

baby X 2!

People use the term "miracle" way too loosely IMO. I think the term should only be used in circumstances that are medically or logically unexplainable. I hope it doesn't sound harsh but I honestly don't even think a 24 weeker is a miracle, a blessing yes, but all babies are.

It probably goes back to when I was in the hospital years ago when I broke my back. I was paralyzed for 6 months and everyone kept saying it was a miracle that I walked again. I guess I never really saw it that way because I knew exactly what my injury was and why I was able to recover. Granted in that specific circumstance not everyone does recover, but the  possibilty was always there.

jenerally

sweetpea18:

2BWEDN2007:

I had one of these experiences the other day. I wanted to strangle one of the moms who posted about her "miracle" baby on 0-6. She was born at 34w5d and she keeps commenting how her "miracle baby born 6 weeks early" (who spent all of 10 days in the NICU).

I understand she still had a preemie and a baby with NICU time, but your 34 weeker is NOT a miracle. Your perfectly healthy bundle of joy had a 95%+ chance of survival. A 23 weeker surviving is a miracle......

Okay, this kind of upset me.  I had my baby at 34 weeks and she spent 10 days in the nicu.  That was the longest 10 days of my life and we still have struggles from her being early.  Am I not welcome on this board because I "only" had a 34 weeker and "only" had to deal with the nicu for 10 days?  Is my baby any less of a miracle than yours?!? 

I also take exception to this, which I guess is why I don't post much on this board. My son was born 35w6d and was LGA. He "only" spent 12 days in the NICU due to a traumatic brain injury, hypoglycemia, RDS, apnea, and seizures due to his IVH.

Is my experience less traumatic than yours because he stayed in 10 weeks longer? Mine will still have lasting complications, just like yours. Mine *IS* my miracle baby, every day. Please do not take that away from me.

Our experiences are all different, but being on this board is not a competition. What happened to being accepting of everyone who had been through the NICU roller coaster??

Sept.07Bride

my dd was also a 34 weeker spent 10 days in the nicu and still think she is my little miracle. its a miracle whever a baby is born no matter their gastational age. you can have a 24 weeker be born and survive every hurdle it comes upon, or you can have a 40weeker born with so many complications that they do not survive, as in my friends situation. i know the nicu is an emotional place for everyone no matter their lo gastational age and any baby imo that can be brought into this world is a miracle in itself.

Austinsgirl07

i usually lurk here and havent in some time but i must say that every baby is a miracle!! the fact that a beautiful baby comes from 2 people and grows inside you is a miracle in my book! My dd was 35 weeks and because i had gd since 9 weeks she was bigger than most babies in the nicu but her lungs were not developed. Everyones experince is different! The trama of having her taken from me in an emerengy csection then never getting to hold her before they took her to boston was devastating to me! I dont go around callling her a premmie but i do tell people she was early and had some compications and i thank god all the time for her! She was only in the nicu for 5 days but for me it was still a very scary place. She had alot of complications at home after that, it being a tramatic for me isnt taking any thing away from any of you i cant even imagine what some of you go threw! and my heart goes out to all of you!!! It tramitizing for anything to go wrong when you have a baby, the whole pregnancy your planning the nursery and thinking happy thoughts and its hard to deal with when it doesnt happen the way youve been thinking! JMO

erinkate_86

sweetpea18:

2BWEDN2007:

I had one of these experiences the other day. I wanted to strangle one of the moms who posted about her "miracle" baby on 0-6. She was born at 34w5d and she keeps commenting how her "miracle baby born 6 weeks early" (who spent all of 10 days in the NICU).

I understand she still had a preemie and a baby with NICU time, but your 34 weeker is NOT a miracle. Your perfectly healthy bundle of joy had a 95%+ chance of survival. A 23 weeker surviving is a miracle......

Okay, this kind of upset me.  I had my baby at 34 weeks and she spent 10 days in the nicu.  That was the longest 10 days of my life and we still have struggles from her being early.  Am I not welcome on this board because I "only" had a 34 weeker and "only" had to deal with the nicu for 10 days?  Is my baby any less of a miracle than yours?!? 

I also take offense to this. My DS was "only" in the NICU for 12 days and was 34 weeks...I guess he doesn't count either. No, ten days early is not a preemie. This board is not a contest about the amount of time spent in a NICU. It is for mothers who had a premature baby. We were all equally as scared and worried for our baby's survival and health.

mmalone97

Birth itself is a miracle.  Born at 36 weeks or born at 40 weeks.  I don't care if you call him a preemie or not... I call him my child.  I'm happy to have him and he is in fact my little miracle.

lemen99

ditto mmalone97 - all babies are miracles

 

tmp-515711125009200

That is bothersome. I hesitate to call either of my 36-weekers  preemies because they were born healthy, with no NICU stay required, not even for observation. My DD had a rough start (1st APGAR was 3), but she rebounded beautifully. That's actually the reason why I read this board, but rarely participate (this may actually only be my 2nd post here).

mrs.amandamm

baby X 2!:

So then Im not wierd for me not considering mine preemies right? It's always been something DH and I talked about, our babies spent no NICU time and had no issues with the eccpetion of DS's PDA. So we've decided to not title them preemies, that title is reserved for ladies who've been through it, my heart goes out to you all.

They are preemies, whether they spend time in NICU doesn't matter, anything before 37 weeks is a preemie.

mrs.amandamm

erinkate_86:

I also take offense to this. My DS was "only" in the NICU for 12 days and was 34 weeks...I guess he doesn't count either. No, ten days early is not a preemie. This board is not a contest about the amount of time spent in a NICU. It is for mothers who had a premature baby. We were all equally as scared and worried for our baby's survival and health.

Ditto

SBMBride406

I hope everyone reads the post below re: "Getting Past This." Everyone is welcome and encouraged to post here!

mrsolsenk12

I am also hesitant to post much on this board. My DS was born at 36 weeks 1 day. I know that technically he is a preemie but he spent no time in the NICU and has no health problems. He is slightly behind in developmental milestones but nothing severe. I know that so many of you have been through a lot ( I have a friend with a 30 week preemie and a 34 week preemie so I have seen her NICU experiences.

mommamorris

i know that any time in the nicu must be hard on parents. but i think the difference comes in the preemie vs. micropreemie experiences... as a mommy to a 27 weeker i feel MAJOR jealousy to the 34-36 weekers who come in for a few days and then leave. i think coming from the perspective of months rather than days in the hospital, it is easy to have those feelings that my stay is harder than an otherwise healthy 35 weeker.

another factor would be sickness while in the hospital. the stress of having a sick baby (on breathing helps etc.) vs. say, one that had to be on bili lights overnight is huge!

the final thing to consider are long lasting issues. if your baby was born at 36 weeks and has developmental delays, or problems related to preemie-hood, then why not post? it makes perfect sense. if your baby is totally healthy, born at 36w 6d it seems like the regular term boards would have more to offer in way of commonality. right?

BabyG_

I agree.  Every baby is a miracle no matter what the circumstances - full term or not.

Our family is still going through the NICU roller coaster and each day I thank God for my little miracle.  She nearly didn't make it through the emergency c-section and I was nearly lost as well.  

I don't place any 'rules' on whether or not you call your baby a miracle.  My more than full term nephew is a miracle as well.  I just consider my little Evelyn to be a special kind of miracle.