Started bawling at the doctors today...

Lucky428

I've had this secret fear eating me up inside and I have not told anyone, not even DH.  I was reading one of my pregnancy books and it says not to try and swallow your fears but to talk to your doctor about them.

So that's what I did.  I am absolutely terrified my baby will die.  If he's not moving, I'm always worried.  I'm lucky he's really active.  I'm so panicked about giving birth and having it be hard on him, and having him die.  I'm also very terrified about the losses I hear about that happen at 38w or something like that. 

I sat there on the exam table bawling just saying how much I love him and nothing bad can happen to him.  She must think I'm a nutcase.  She explained how it's her job to make sure he gets here safely, and she also said that most still births are caused by lack of prenatal care where problems go undiagnosed.  She said there are some health problems in the mom that can cause it but I have none of them.  

I felt a little better about voicing my fear to her and then to DH. 

I just love him SO much... I can't wait until he's out and screaming. 

vera1127

Awwww...I am so sorry you had a rough appt, but so glad that you got it out of your system! I totally understand how you feel...I think we all have these fears. I am sure she does not think you are crazy. When I first got my BFP I started bawling on the exam table too, so afraid I was going to miscarry again. My dr stayed in the room with me the whole time. They see this kind of thing all of the time. But trust me when I say you're not alone--I think as moms we naturally think of every last thing that can go wrong and worry about it 24/7. We'll do it now until the day we die. I am with you though, I love this little guy so much already and can't wait until he's out here with me!

lplassman

Aww sweetie I know exactly what you mean.  I actually cannot even read those stories anymore they just terrify me! 

PeetiePie

I'm sorry you have been feeling that way, but I'm glad your OB was good about reassuring you.  Your healthy LO will be here and in your arms before you know it.

Lucky428

Thanks ladies.  I appreciate it.

I'm glad I have around 10 weeks left until I get to hold him and be so grateful...

perfectpeach

I could have written this post myself a few weeks ago.  I would cry myself to sleep thinking about all the bad things that could possibly happen to Owen before he was born......BUT, I promise, those fears are totally normal and just repeat in your mind what your OB said - baby will get here just fine and you'll be able to hold & snuggle your little one & make sure that they're doing okay.

However (insert annoying new mommy advice here, ha!), once baby is here, those fears & anxieties turn into totally new ones....so we'll be here for you on PAL once your LO gets here   *hugs*

Anna&Matt

If it makes you feel any better so far I've been crying at most appts to some extent lol. I am so much on edge after our losses that I freak out over every little thing, like at my last appt they couldn't find the hb on the doppler so I freaked out. The plus side was that my OB has done lots of u/s to calm my fears.