NBR: I dont know what to do

jl_nc

or how to approach this.  My bf from HS (we were very serious, and talked about marriage in college, but broke up)  whom i am still very good friends with has had cancer for over 2 years and nothing seems to be working. He is in the hospital with acidosis etc and the last round of chemo has not worked (the tumors have grown 50% and some have reappeared all together).

We are still friends and talk (via email) probably a few times a month (DH knows about this and is fine with it..i think). But I  feel like i need to see him before he gets any worse, but i dont know if that is appropriate...I'm torn. I cant really take DH and DD with me to see him (i think it would hurt him more and i am not willing to do that) but i dont think it's appropriate to go on my own. what do i do?

Fish4Fun

Did your mother know him?  Or any of your relatives?  Talk it over with DH and go with a family member.  If not, then try a close mutual friend from HS.  So sorry!

JimsBride08

I would either go alone or find a mutual good friend to go with.  I wouldn't think it's inappropriate to go alone-he's in the hospital, it's not like you're going to a bar or something.  GL.

mAnYaSha

Definitely discuss with DH first and tell him that seeing ex more often would make you feel better, if DH is not ok with it, then probably just call ex more often, but if DH is ok with- go for it

JDMC1112

If it were me, I would talk to DH about it and tell him how important it is that you see since there is a possibility things may get worse, see how he reacts and if he understands I would definitely go and see him on your own. I just think if it were me I would regret not going god forbid something happened. GL and prayers to him.

MrsRush

Talk to DH about it and definitely go with your mom or some mutual friends.  Good Luck

Mrslove78

Wow, I have no idea!  For me, DH would freak if I talked to an ex at all, any way shape or form he'd be upset.  And, I don't have the ability to lie to DH.

So, obviousley I think your only choices are to tell DH what you'd like to do and risk making him upset.  How would he react?  Or not seeing him and calling or something on that order...  do you have a mutual girl friend?  If so, I think the subject would be more approachable if you said "DH, my friend wants to see Ex in the hospital and I'm going to go too, would it bother you?"

TennisWife815

MrsRush:

Talk to DH about it and definitely go with your mom or some mutual friends.  Good Luck

 

This. 

jl_nc

the thing is that he and his family live about 1000 miles away (i moved with my family 10 yrs ago) DH does seem fine with it, (i have talked to him about it before now) but i dont. i feel weird about it. but i know if things go downhill fast, i will be so sad that i didnt get to say goodbye.