I woke up this morning angry

butterball123

Angry that this is happening to me, angry that now I have become part of this statistic, angry that I am still in pain and bleeding, angry that our plans for children have been screwed up, angry that people who have children who don't want them have no problems, angry that I've had so much loss in my life already and now I have to add this to the list.  I am mad at God and I just want to understand WHY.  I have always believed that there is a plan for me out there somewhere and things will work out they way they should in the end.  I'm really having a hard time seeing the bigger picture here and I'm really mad that now we have to wait 3 more months before trying again....if we decide we are ready.

I wish I could just find peace.  I guess I'm entering the 2nd stage of loss...I wonder how long it's going to take me to get the the Acceptance part? 

someflower6

i hear you. i wish i could tell you how long this stage will last but of course i can not. what i can tell you is that for me, there was no clear "stage 1, stage 2, stage 3, stage 4..." it was back and forth, up and down, all over the place, for a long time. one day (one minute!) i'd be fine, then the next angry, then the next sad, then the next fine, then sad, then fine... eventually, there were more fine days then not. and acceptance, hm. does that ever really happen? i mean, sure, i think there comes a point when you can say "alright, this happened and i need to move on and not let it hold me back," but does that mean you don't feel angry about it anymore? that you don't wonder why it happened? that you don't mourn that loss? that you don't still have doubts that it was all because of something you said or did or some kind of punishment, or even that something was wrong with you?

i've been on this board over two months. i've seen people post here months, even years, after their losses. yes, it will eventually get better, it will eventually be easier to move on and deal with life and every day things and not have this constant feeling of pain/anger/fear, etc. but a pregnancy loss is a life-long diagnosis. i think it's something that we will all think about every day.

i pray that you will find some peace and comfort soon, and that those good days come quicker, and stay longer.

KAG30

I feel like I go back and forth betwen being sad, being ok, and being pissed off.  Yesterday was the first day in a month that I didn't cry, but then I woke up today so sad that I didn't have my baby girls next to me and wondered why me???  I wish we could just try again now too - I hate that I have to wait until I have 2 cycles, I mean I haven't even stopped bleeding from giving birth a month ago - it is very very minimum now, but still I want it to stop because that means my body is moving on a little. 

Kel&Jay

I'm so sorry.  This is not an easy journey.  Know that we will be here with you for each step of the journey.

(((((HUGS)))))

grr_aargh

I'm sorry.  I was just getting over my anger at my loss in March when we saw the big empty black spot at 8 w this time around.  3 weeks later, my shock has worn off, but I am absolutely and utterly raw with anger and bitterness.