My MIL
Swede25
member
Let me begin by saying I love my MIL...sure she can be a bit naiive or dim-witted at times, but for the most part, I lucked out (compared to some horrendous MILs I read about!). Anyway, DH's family has no idea that we have been TTC since last June or that we've had 2 losses. It was his idea to keep it from them until we were certain we had a viable pregnancy b/c MIL has a big mouth. We never mentioned TTC because MIL would be the type to want daily updates. Too much stress! Since we got married 5 years ago she has also been dropping hints left and right about how much she wants to have grandkids, that it's not fair my parents already have 3 (from my much older sister), etc. I just normally ignore it.
Anyway, the morning of the day I got my most recent BFP, she sends me an email saying she dreamt I called them for Father's Day (which was the day before) saying I was pregnant. Apparently it was so realistic she woke up and thought it was really happening. We are going to visit them next weekend and she just sent me an IM saying, "When you guys are here, I want you to go shopping with me to pick out a baby present." (for a friend). Going baby present shopping is honestly the last thing I want to do right now and I have no idea how to get out of it! I have a feeling she thinks I'm pregnant too and is trying to get me to spill it somehow.
How would you guys deal with the shopping thing?
TTC #1 since 7/08 After 3 years, 2 losses, 3 rounds of IUI, and one round of IVF, we finally have our dream come true! DS born 7/30/11
TTC #2 off and on since 7/12
Re: My MIL
Are you guys sure you don't want to tell her? It may make her lay off the grand child bit if she knew what you were going through. If you do have to go with her, GL. I know when I ended up a total wreck when I went shopping for a baby shower gift after my m/c. I know that probably isn't what you want to hear but I did manage to get through it and I know if you end up having to go you will find the strength too!
I am leaving it up to DH as it is his family and he is 100% certain he does not want to tell them anything. My MIL has an uncanny habit of beating things into the ground, whether it's good news or bad news. DH is a really private person also, and is not particularly close with his family. Don't get me wrong, he comes from a very loving family but he and his brother are not best friends like I am with my brother and sister, and he doesn't tell his parents a lot of things like I do. I almost feel like telling them would make her talk about grandkids more, just because she would know we were trying. I'm pretty positive she never went through a miscarriage, and sometimes she doesn't think before opening her mouth, so it could just turn out to be a bad situation.
I think DH is going to try to intercept before she can get an answer from me!
TTC #1 since 7/08 After 3 years, 2 losses, 3 rounds of IUI, and one round of IVF, we finally have our dream come true! DS born 7/30/11
TTC #2 off and on since 7/12
I understand the whole MIL thing. Atleast she wants you to have one. My MIL told me to "keep my legs shut", b/c financially my Dh and her DS can't handle it right now.....and she knows we m/c 5 months ago....so naturally, we both are wanting another child....but when my dSIL pops up pregnant she's thrilled....okay, venting over....
So maybe you should tell her that you've had some female complications and you don't feel comfortable buying baby stuff, (if she admits it's for you and not "a friend"). It's not the full truth, but not a lie. Maybe it'll cool her off for awhile....otherwise, tell your DH to step in and bail you out of that bad situation.
I hear you. In that case, i agree with pp. tell dh you can't handle and let him take care of it however he wants. GL!