Those with 2 children...please come in

summerbridesara

So I think I want another baby....but I'm pretty sure my husband is going to be resistant to it.  I think his biggest fear is not treating them equally or favoring one over the other.  I have told him that I grew up with 2 siblings and never felt that one was favored over the other.  I'm certain that we would love both children the same, but also maybe there are times when you like one child more than the other or like certain things about one child more than the other?  That seems like it would be normal...I'm sure a parent isn't going to say....well you're more athletic so I love you more than your sister....um, no.

I guess what I'm looking for is reassurance so I can show this post to my husband when we have the "big talk" soon.

He gets on a chat board also (UFC, MMA stuff) and there was an off topic post about some of the guys liking one kid more than the other..so of course he think that reinforces his theory.

Thanks ladies!

rsweethart

Loving one more than the other really wasn't an issue for us.  The biggest thing that we struggled with was that it seemed like I was always taking care of DD2 and DH was taking care of DD1.  DH kind of felt like he wasn't connecting with DD2, but once we worked through that and got into a routine everything fell into place nicely.    Having two is a little crazy at the beginning, but our girls are starting to play together and laugh at each other...it's so cute!

jasonlovessara

I think that my DH would have only wanted one for similar reasons.  Having two is great (tiring, but wonderful!).   Dh and I do have to watch that I am not always feeding one and him the other like Sharon said but it is awesome to see them together.  I am sure that any sibling, not just twins, will have a special bond.  It is amazing how everything just works.... money is tight, laundry is piled up, the house is just clean enough... but you know what??  It is the best thing having these two... you just kinda make it work.  I have always wanted at least two... so I am glad that I got my way

fxz109

I just wanted to say good luck, Sara.  I hope you and your DH come to an agreement that makes you both happy.  Is he an only child?

 

summerbridesara

Thanks for your responses, ladies.   My husband is technically an only child.  He is his mom's only child and his mom remarried his step-dad when Andy was 6.  His step-dad had 3 children, all of which were quite older than Andy.  So essentially he was an only child.  The more I think about it, the more I really want Sophia to have a sibling.  Some of my best memories involve my brother or sister.

jasonlovessara

I have been thinking about this and wanted to add that there are times when you do favor one over the other.  For awhile there Bella would just SCREAM for hours at night, she had horrible colic.  Jack on the other hand was mainly calm and relaxed.  We still loved Bella but it was a hard time for us.  I think there are times when you will relate to one child more or one child is more easy going than the other but you always love them.  That is the great thing about having more than one.... if one is frustrating you you have the other one to balance you out (hopefully)

LClaire

jasonlovessara:

That is the great thing about having more than one.... if one is frustrating you you have the other one to balance you out (hopefully)

That's a fantastic way to say it! I definitely always love both of my kids, but there are times when one is more frustrating than the other. thankfully most of the time if one is hard, the other is easy. (i.e. if Amelia is being whiny, Nick is sleeping or being good and I can deal with her or if Nick is crying and having a rough day Amelia is great at playing and trying to help). So it does all wind up balancing out. Not always - the hardest times are when they're both screaming! But thankfully that's not often;)

I definitely had this fear about how to love another baby as much as I already loved the one I had! And no matter how many people told me that I would be amazed by how much my heart could just keep opening and growing and just love even more every minute of every day, it was still one of those things that was hard to believe. Kind of like knowing that you're going to love your first baby, but it's impossible to describe HOW MUCH you love that baby and it's nothing like anything you've ever felt in the world! The same happened all over again and it just grows and changes and I LOVE having these two little loveys to see every day. Watching their relationship grow already and how much they learn because of the other, etc is so fun to witness!