Am I being a B!tch? Kinda long

luckyangel

When we got pregnant the 1st time around, DH and I both fell in love with the name Jackson (nickname Jax).  At the time, I convinced DH that I really really wanted to do an ocean theme room.  I am a documentary photographer and specialize in natural disasters and was a huge Hurricane Katrina relief worker and have always been a beach bum at heart.  DH was all about the Ocean room-I even did complete drawings of how the room would look when done.

Now that we're pregnant again (post loss) DH doesnt want to use the name Jackson.  He just is uncomfortable with it since we picked it out for a baby we lost (even though we never will know if that baby was a boy or girl and we picked a different name.  I gave up after months of trying to convince him that Jax was still ok.  He didn't like the other boys names I liked and I conceeded to Sean which I like but its not my favorite.

NOW DH doesnt want to do an ocean theme room.  He is a truck driver and wants to do a cars and trucks room.  I just feel like everything I had planned for my first and only child, has been crapped on by DH.  (Reminder:  DH has 3 kids from his 1st marriage all of whom he named, who we have custody of).

My friend, God love her, threw out the idea of doing the ocean room but including a port with a trucking and shipping area in the mural I had planned out.  Its an idea but I just had my heart set on this room and now DH well...peed in my cheerios as he would say.  Am I just being hormonal and controlling or do I have some justification in feeling this way?  I know DH made all the decisions about his 3 girls because his ex wife was either absentee or drunk most of their lives, but I'm not his ex.

PLUS I've bought like $200 worth of stuff to decorate the room in the ocean theme AND its already painted blue...so what a waste if we change it now ya know... 

MrsPatterson

I do not think you're being a b!tch at all.  It sounds like he's asking you to make all the compromises and that's not fair.  If you gave up the name you really wanted, I think you should be able to at least do the room the way you had your heart set on.  This is your baby too!

luckyangel

I figured by the time the baby is 2 or 3 we will want to redo the room anyway and toddler age is a great time for a cars & trucks room-when he's big enough to PLAY with cars and trucks ya know.  I don't know.  

CapitolBaby

You're not being a *** at all.  Frankly - I'd use the name Jackson AND give him an ocean themed room (I like the idea of incorporating trucks to please your hubby.) 

Fight this fight, girl!  You can do it!  He'll give in eventually!!

Rachel2315

DH and I had a similar fight - he wanted Chicago Cubs/baseball theme and I wanted puppies. ?I was dead set on puppies, no compromising, and my mom knew it so she bought us a bunch of puppy themed stuff. ?I compromised with DH and told him that when our little guy is older, he can re-decorate this room/decorate a room in a (hopefully) new house with his theme - as long as the baby is a Cubs fan that is!

Lucky428

MrsPatterson:

I do not think you're being a b!tch at all.  It sounds like he's asking you to make all the compromises and that's not fair.  If you gave up the name you really wanted, I think you should be able to at least do the room the way you had your heart set on.  This is your baby too!

I agree with this 100%.  

luckyangel

Well I give on the Jackson thing...DH's CRAZY and I mean CRAZY ex wife is due next month and got wind of the name we picked and decided she's naming her baby that...so the name is tainted for us now.  I still love it but hey-it is what it is.  Sean works for me.

Thanks guys, I think I'm going to stick to my guns on the ocean room...UNLESS DH would like for me to redo OUR room into an ocean theme-most of the stuff I bought isn't kid stuff its more mature so it would work in an adult room!  HAH! 

Rossi17

I would have a serious conversation with him, letting him know that you already conceded on the name because you know how important it is for him. Now he has to concede on something that is just as important to you. You can't let him have his way both times, he has to meet you in the middle. Tell him that he can have his car and truck room if he lets you name the baby Jackson, otherwise it has to be the other way around. Acknowledge that this is a hard situation for him, as it is for you too (losing a baby is never easy), and he might have thought he shouldered all the emotional burden during his first marriage (because i am sure his first wife didn't give a sh!t about anything except herself), but you are not her, and he has to be your partner, he can't be making all the decisions himself.

luckyangel

So I guess now is a bad time to mention I just found the cutest car and truck bedding set in the world...