Anyone else not having a shower?

Rosieoutlook

I'm trying not to feel hurt but we haven't had anyone mention anything about having a shower for us and most likely won't. My friends are mostly out of town but it kind of makes me feel sad that my family and my husband's family haven't said anything about it. We have gone to big showers for my husband's cousins over the years and have been married for a long time (12 years). We can afford to get the baby the things that we will need but I feel a little sad that people don't want to celebrate my baby. =(

CapitolBaby

I'm so sorry you're going through this - have you brought it up with your family at all, or has your hubby brought it up with his fam?

jschreib

Is it possible they might surprise you?  I only had one person offer for me and I was really happy for that and it wasn't family or a very close friend.  Is it possible DH could mention something to both of your families to see if anyone has been considering it?  Someone should definitely offer to throw you one!

MrsPatterson

Have you brought this up with your DH?  I would just casually ask him if he's heard any mention of a shower.  Tell him that you would like to know because if you're going to be given a shower, you need to register; also, you could say that you don't want to go out and buy a bunch of stuff for baby if you're going to be getting a shower.  If your DH doesn't know, maybe suggest that he just as casually check with his mom (or whoever would be throwing it).  I would feel bad if I weren't getting a shower, sorry you're dealing with this. :-/

mrstyson03

I'm so sorry no one has offered to throw you a shower yet. I agree with pp. Maybe you could get DH to bring it up to your family or his. ((Hugs))

Rosieoutlook

I've mentioned it to my husband but he just says not to worry about it and can buy whatever we want for the baby. I don't think he "gets" that it's not the gifts, it's just more feeling left out of the registering and shower fun everyone else seems to do. I know that not everyone has one and it just seems like it to me. I know my family won't do it because my sister in law was not given a shower by my family but her family had one for her and we were invited. My mom had a lot of mental health and medical issues. Maybe I just need to not feel sorry for myself.

CapitolBaby

Rosieoutlook:

I've mentioned it to my husband but he just says not to worry about it and can buy whatever we want for the baby. I don't think he "gets" that it's not the gifts, it's just more feeling left out of the registering and shower fun everyone else seems to do. I know that not everyone has one and it just seems like it to me. I know my family won't do it because my sister in law was not given a shower by my family but her family had one for her and we were invited. My mom had a lot of mental health and medical issues. Maybe I just need to not feel sorry for myself.

I think you should definitely register ... do it at a place like Babies R Us, or Amazon, or somewhere that has easy shipping.  That way, all your friends and family who are in a different city/state can still purchase things for you off your registry.  Just because they are remote doesn't mean they wont want to shower you.  My cousin had a baby last year, and lives in a city where she hardly knows anybody.  She registered, and all of us ended u buying things for her off her registry.  Don't worry - definitely register, and have a BLAST doing it.  At the very least, most places will give you a discount or coupons on the registry items that are remaining after your baby is born.

CapitolBaby

Another idea I just thought of - start a simple webpage with updates on your pregnancy, ultrasound pictures, etc.  Email the site to all your friends and family, and on the website, add a link to your registry!  That is a subtle way of letting everyone know!

kmtfu

I'm in the same place as you Rosie.  It's hard not to get down sometimes, especially when you read all about everyone else's shower(s).  We kind of knew going into this that nobody would pull through for us.. it's a LOT to take on (I'm currently hosting a shower for a friend) so I wouldn't feel comfortable for a friend to do this (not that any have/would offer), and my family just kinda sucks, to be blunt.  His family, while very very sweet, are older (70s, 80s) and I would never even dream of them coming up with something.

It still stinks nonetheless.  This is our first (and probably only- I'm 37) baby and sometimes I wonder if he'll get the love and attention other babies have gotten in the family... but then I just have to remind myself that regardless of anyone else, DH and I are the ones who matter the most.

Oh and we do plan on registering regardless if there's a shower or not. I'm sure people will still want to give us something at some point.

mh2t

You know, I didn't think I was going to have one either because no one had said anything to me by about 20 weeks.  But then a few weeks later, both my sister (who is local) and some girlfriends at work offered to throw showers.  I had the first one a couple weeks ago and the second one on Saturday.  So you may still get an offer.

That said, I was a tiny bit disappointed when I thought no one was going to do one for me.  I reminded myself, though, that showers aren't strictly necessary (it's hard to remember that when you spend a lot of time on the Bump, though - it seems like everyone has fancy catered showers and ends up with $1000s in loot), and that it didn't mean that people weren't excited about our baby.  Some people aren't really accustomed to showers - neither my mother nor my sister had ever even attended a baby shower, let alone thrown one, before they did mine on Saturday.

So, I hope someone steps in, but in the meantime try not to be too sad.  Hugs!

mybobble

99.9% sure I won't be having one. I'll still register incase anyone wants to send us something.

SPC2007

My family does not believe in showers so no one has had one in my family and I am the baby in the family and this will be the 7 grandchild so I am thinking no shower for me.  Some of my friends have brought it up but not sure if they will all get their acts together to do anything.  I will have a registry if anyone wants to buy the baby something after or before she is born.  My DH family hasn't really said anything but my DH isn't really all about showers anyway so he probably will not push the subject with them.  Oh well.  I know my parents are buying the bedroom furniture and my DH parents just want us to tell them what we need and will get us stuff too.  I also have a lot of things from my sister so we are lucky not too need that much stuff but a shower would have still been nice.