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crawtater
member
Who else has a "problem sleeper" (5 months+)?
crawtater
member
I guess I would just like to hear that I am not the only one in this boat. I have a couple of friends who have kids who were "problem sleepers," and it IS nice to hear that he'll learn to sleep eventually, but I really would like to hear from others who are in the trenches right now like I am.
I have been back at work for 2 months now, and DS is STILL not sleeping for more than 3 hours at a time...and that's on a GOOD night. On a bad night, he wakes up every hour. I am going completely nuts. I have tried absolutely everything*, and I guess I am at the point where, whenever someone suggests something to me (which I have inevitably tried, and it didn't work), it just wears me down even more and makes me feel like somehow this is my fault. I pray every single day for this kid to start sleeping, and nothing is making any difference. Other moms in the same boat? Please?
*OK, I haven't tried full-on Ferber. But it's because we tried the Baby Whisperer method (PU/PD), which is VERY similar to the first week of Ferber, and it didn't do jack *%&$.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Who else has a "problem sleeper" (5 months+)?
First of all, I feel your pain. DS did not STTN until 10 months. While some babies sleep better from early on, many do not and it is likely because they aren't ready to. Not that this does anything for your exhaustion nor your sanity. I am surprised I wasn't hauled off to the looney bin after going so long without it...I'm talking getting 1-2 hours per night since DS would wake every hour or two and it would take me 1 hour just to get him back down most nights and then I couldn't fall asleep right away. Then we graduated to 3 hours, then longer but that wasn't until after the 6 month mark!
He didn't start making progress until solid foods were well under way. Given this, I still nursed him at least once during the night down from twice earlier on until he was having 3 meals a day. I'd say about 7-8 months he would have better and longer stretches, but they were never predicatable. It was a one step forward two steps back situation. The book "The Wonder Weeks" also describes developmental milestones which will make them more wakeful simply becasue of what is going on, regardless of how much progress they've made. And then there's always teething which has always caused DS to be more wakeful or at least to fight sleep. Also try not going to him every time he makes noise. I found that DS got to a point where he would often settle himself back down. I am convicned this too helped.
Since the modified CIO didn't work and it certainly doesn't work for everyone, try "The NO Cry Sleep Solution". It will give you some tips on how to help them sleep better. Also, have your DH go to him at night for a while if you can. This combined with solids helped us make progress. In the end though, it was simply a matter of when he was ready. I thought we'd never get here.
Ferber worke for us. However, I had a good sleeper that went bad.
What about daytime sleep? I found that if he slept all day he didn't sleep at night. No naps after 4 is our rule. We also start "poer feeding at 5. Fill that tummy up!!
Hope you ind a solution...
Well, if it makes you feel better, DD was that way too. Short cat-naps only during the day, usually 3-4 half hour naps. And waking multiple times per night. On the other hand I don't know if it will make you feel better or worse to learn that she did not STTN (meaning a real night, not 5 hours) until 20mo.
If you are nursing, I highly recommend co-sleeping. It's what saved my sanity. It basically didn't matter how many time she woke because neither of us was fully waking up and she just nursed and went back to sleep while we were still in bed.
you might want to look at The Sleep Book by Dr Sears - it's got really good tips for helping baby to nap. Our problem has never been what books seem to address, which is getting baby down. Marion has always been insanely simple to get her to sleep. It's keeping her asleep and getting her to nap that were the big problems. The Dr Sears book is the only one that even touched on our problems.
From four to six months, she was up on a good night three or four times, on a bad night 10+ times. Without us doing any kind of sleep training, she outgrew it at six months.
She's ten months now and STTN without fail unless she's sick or teething. So check yourself into the loony bin just yet, there's a very good chance he'll just outgrow this wakeful period.
Is he in daycare or does he have a nanny at home?
j+k+m+e | running with needles
He's both difficult to get down (for naps only though - it's a breeze at night) and has a REALLY hard time staying asleep. The only thing that's made a measurable difference is swaddling...if he is not swaddled he can't even sleep half an hour, but if he's swaddled at night he can generally go 2-2.5 hours. Although last night he was up EVERY F'ING HOUR....
I BF, so I do co-sleep with some regularity, but as other co-sleepers I'm sure already know, I am not getting all that great of sleep. It's weird, it's like a very very light sleep that I never experienced before I was a mom. But it's not nearly as restful as "real" sleep, when baby is in his own bed.
My DH is a SAHD, so DS is with him all day. That actually makes it harder, because it means both DH and I each have a full-time job. Mine is working outside the home, and his is watching DS. Each of us needs to be awake and on our toes the entire "workday" (b/c DS doesn't nap, so it's not like H H can nap during the day to catch up on sleep), so each of us has an equal need for sleep. And neither of us is getting it. DS will be starting a mother's day out in September, and then at least DH will have a couple days a week where he can nap during the day, so I won't have to feel guilty about handing DS over to DH for the whole entire night so that I can get some sleep and hopefully get marginally farther away from the "getting fired" level of work performance
I guess I just need people's reassurance that (i) this is not my fault, like maybe I just didn't try hard enough, and (ii) it really, honestly will end eventually. Hopefully before I get fired for falling asleep at work.
You may have heard this before - but have you tried a noise machine? I got this from BBB and I think it helps giving a consistant noise for them to stay asleep. Also, drowns out other noises so he won't wake up to outside sounds as easily.
Sorry you have a bad sleeper. :-( You may just want to try to alternate nights with DH - that way you both get a good night's rest every other night. I felt like it really helped when I would at least get a good 6 hours in a row. Have DH and DC actually sleep outside of a room that you are, so you don't wake up to them. Otherwise, I would still wake up when DH/DC woke up, and it didn't help at all.
I understand what you mean with the "light" sleep. I was a very deep sleeper until DS came. I seemed to wake up at every sound. We got DS out of the PNP out of our room at 8 weeks, and I would still wake up with the monitor. Now that he sleeps for longer periods, I finally feel like I get to that "deep" sleep again.
I hope he starts giving you some more hours of zzzs soon!
I think I told you this the other day at lunch, but both of my boys were terrible sleepers. They both woke up every 1.5 - 2 hours all night. There were rare occasions when they would sleep maybe 3 hours at a time. They were like this up until 6 months and then I did some sleep training with them. It made a huge difference.
So I feel your pain, I am just now getting some sleep again, but up until a few weeks ago it was rough!
He sounds just like Marion at that age and I'm pleased to say that she slept 13 hours last night with one twenty minute wakeup (she was super hungry.) So there is hope!
One of the things your DH can do to help with the naptime is to start to have a super structured naptime routine, just like you do with bedtime. At this point, he should be on two naps a day I think, or maybe three. The two of you should come up with a naptime routine that's similar to bedtime (so he knows he's supposed to be getting sleepy) but that isn't exactly like bedtime so he doesn't get confused and you don't run the risk of bedtime not working.
For us, nighttime is bath, bottle, book, rocking, then laid down sleepy but awake. For nap, it's bottle, book, rocking and we walk through the nursery telling all her animals and stuff it's nap time.
We also coslept for naps until close to 8 months old. I would just bring my laptop, knitting, reading, whatever I wanted to bed with us and we'd sit in bed, read a book together. Then I'd feed her, while snuggling her close and when she got done eating, I'd just rock her back and forth (while still laying down) until she went to sleep. Some days were awesome, some days were horrible and we both cried for an hour before falling asleep. But we never got up out of bed until she had slept for at least fifteen minutes.
You might want to have you husband try putting him down every 1.5 hours at this point since he's not sleeping well at night and needs some good daytime sleep to help him at night. If it seems that 1.5 hours is just too much, then try putting him down for his morning nap 2 hours after he wakes up and then putting him down for his afternoon nap 3 hours after he wakes up for the morning nap. Then he should got to bed for the night about 4 hours after he gets up from the afternoon nap.
It was hard for the first two weeks being so consistent with a schedule, but it got a lot easier after that point because she knew when to expect her daytime sleep to come. When morning naps started being predictable, I was able to get out of the house in the morning and I know she'd fall asleep in the stroller so I'd go running or to the zoo and she'd nap, which was a big sanity saver for me. But no matter what, we're always home for the afternoon nap because if that last nap of the day isn't good, her night sleep isn't so good as well.
It's super frustrating because it seems sleep training books just talk about how to get them down for the night, not how to actually help them sleep at night or during naptime. I remember reading The No Cry and all it said about naps was "do whatever it takes to get them to nap during the day" and I called my mom crying because I said nothing worked to get her to nap. But when we started with a nap routine and a consistent nap time, things did get better. Sometime it would take an hour to get her down for a thirty minute nap, but at least she was napping.
And you might want to think about MDO a little earlier. For some kids, seeing their peers nap with no trouble helps them out a lot, as does being on a schedule like MDO will have them on.
j+k+m+e | running with needles
our oldest is a CRAP napper... and the little one seems to be following in his foot steps.. He has FINALLY started napping on a schedule, but I 100% give credit to MDO.. They have a very strict routine. He sees the other kids doing it and he does it. It didn't happen until the moved him to the "big kid" class (at about 15 months).
We have a very set bedtime routine. Bath, milk, brush teeth, pj's, books, bed. We started very early. Have you read Babywise? I know some people don't like it, but I feel like it gave me permission to "take control" of the situation. Sleep is a good thing. I found that at my attitude changed that his did too. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think that reading it helped me take control of the situation.
Does your little one use a binkey? I found that if I put in the binkey instead of feeding he would go back to sleep... much quicker than feeding him. At his age, he shouldn't need to eat multiple times a night. Our sitter has an 11 month old that still eats once. I think it may be more habbit than need..
Do you go to him immediatly when he wakes up? I found that if I wait a few minutes, they sometimes settle back down. My 3 month old is a noisy sleeper.. sometimes she even screams (one big scream then nothing)... If I wait 2 minutes she's back asleep on her own... we are now formula feeding and she sleeps 11-12 hours at night, but I can hear her wake up once or twice for a minute or two.
Hope you find a solution...
So glad to see your post tonight...all of my friends have good sleepers so I feel like I'm doing something wrong. One friend's baby slept all night from 7-7 at 2 months, you lay him in the crib and he takes 3 hr naps....no fussing, no crying. she has to go get him up. its ridiculous.
DS was never a good sleeper and it stressed me out. Now at 2 yrs he sleeps great from 7 to 7, and finally naps for 1.5 hrs. Its taken us this long to get here though but I'm pretty sure he slept all night around 6 months (7pm to 5am). It wasnt until 12 months though that he slept 7pm to 6 or 7am)
DD, 4 months, wakes up 2 times a night and I am also going to loose it b/c I'm back at work.... I have no adivce just wanted to commiserate. I keep telling myself its not my fault, but deep down I feel like I somehow messed it up. I've read tons of sleep books. WIth DS ferber really helped but I do not want to go through that with DD...its so hard to listen to them cry. BUT, letting DS cry was the only way he learned to sleep...so we'll see what we do with DD... anyway, good luck!