Can I be Honest?

frustrated and ttc

Backround: It took 15 months to concieve and we ended up doing IVF.

I thought that after we finally concieved I was going to be the most happiest person in the world. I thought I would LOVE pregnancy. I mean, how could I not? We wanted these babies sooo much BUT now that I'm here....I'm not enjoying it at all. I guess I just didn't realize how hard being pregnant with twins would be. JUST FOR THE RECORD....I wouldn't take it back for anything and I would do it all over again, I just wished I could embrace this pregnancy more. I knew it wasn't going to be a breeze but I didn't think it would be this hard. The constint thirst(and not being able to drink anything), potty breaks, the pains and cramps(which are horrible!!), then I got a hematoma and put on bedrest for 3 weeks and that ended up with me being fired and all I want to eat is pasta so I'm REALLY constipated. Now I'm having this constint pain and pressure in the bottom of my stomach. I wish I could do some sort of time travel and skip ahead to my due date so I could hold these babies. I just want my babies here and now.

Anyone else have trouble with being pregnant? Anyone else have this glamerious vision of being pregnant and it turned out you hated being pregnant? I hope I'm not alone here.

Queet1

Well, I'm only a couple weeks ahead of you so I don't have much wisdom to offer! But I can say that the second tri does seem to be better -- so there's hope. Since you did IVF, do you have cysts on your ovaries? I did injectible/iui and I had cysts that caused pain and cramps only to about the 10th or 12th week, so that might end for you too. The thirst and peeing . . . I see no end in sight. But the desire to eat only noodles also ended for me around week 12! So hang in there!

leslie13510

Don't feel bad about it.  Hating your pregnancy does not mean that you are not thankful for your children.  Being pregnant with just one baby can be difficult, and you're carrying two.  I HATED most of my pregnancy.  It was horrible from 6 weeks until after delivery.  Between spotting/bleeding, weeks and weeks of bedrest, a cerclage, almost 7 weeks of preterm labor, and tons of other stuff I swore I would never get pregnant again.  However, I would do it all over again ten times if I had to for these kiddos.  I love them with all my heart and they are worth everything I went through and so much more.  I still hated being pregnant.

Mickschick

I was the same way. We tried for 19 months and I was so ecstatic when we found out we were pregnant. Then at 5 weeks I got m/s... that made me throw up 6-9 times a day until I was about 20 weeks pregnant. I started getting RLP at 16 weeks when I was measuring 20. I was MISERABLE for my entire pregnancy and some of my family even gave me flack for it. They couldn't believe that I was so miserable and felt that I didn't have the right to complain b/c I wanted it so badly.

My second pregnancy was the complete opposite from my first- I didnt' get sick once. Don't feel bad about it in the least. It's not easy being pregnant. But trust me- the end reward is totally worth it!

frustrated and ttc

Thank you for being honest. Like you guys said, it's not that i'm thankful. I AM VERY THANKFUL. I just hate being pregnant. Thanks again for understanding. Carrying twins is hard!

The-Anti-Bride

I can't believe you got fired for a medical condition (i.e. being put on bed rest!)  You could have a lawsuit on your hands!

I felt pretty crappy until about 15 weeks.. then it was sort of the honeymoon period until about 29 weeks.... 

The thirst is important, because you have to keep highly hydrated... so you're body is telling you what it needs.. the same goes for pasta.. your body needs carbs and those babies are growing exponentially every day...

Hang in there.. it will be worth it in the end!!!!

 

sara1014

Yep!  I have so not enjoyed being pregnant.  One of my girlfriends complained CONSTANTLY when PG (on their first try) with their singleton and I always told DH that there is no way I'd ever complain about it and I was going to go with the flow and just deal.  

That hasn't quite happened!!  I was sick and completely exhausted in the beginning - and then I had MAYBE 2 weeks of the "honeymoon" period where I felt pretty good - and then I went back to being tired, the heartburn, the swelling, etc.  Plus the bothersome BH that have me totally paranoid.  I also have way more of an issue than I ever thought I would with the weight gain (mainly in my face and cheeks - which are chubby to begin with so in pictures my face looks REALLY fat and I've avoided being in any).

Hang in there - it really will be over faster than you think.  When I look at my ticker, I can't believe it's been this long...but I'm still searching for that FF button!!!    

nbjenni

Yeah, my pregnancy sucked hard core. I was sick for the first 16 weeks, fine for a week, then put on bedrest for PTL. My water broke at 21 weeks, I spent weeks in the hospital, and 5 months total on bedrest. I hated almost every moment of being pregnant.

And now that they are here, I wouldn't take it back for a moment. Though I do have to say, whenever I see a singleton mom strolling along so easily at the mall I always think "gee it would be so much easier with one", and then I feel guilty.

frustrated and ttc

nbjenni:

Yeah, my pregnancy sucked hard core. I was sick for the first 16 weeks, fine for a week, then put on bedrest for PTL. My water broke at 21 weeks, I spent weeks in the hospital, and 5 months total on bedrest. I hated almost every moment of being pregnant.

And now that they are here, I wouldn't take it back for a moment. Though I do have to say, whenever I see a singleton mom strolling along so easily at the mall I always think "gee it would be so much easier with one", and then I feel guilty.

Don't feel guilty. I think all mothers with twins have probably felt like this one time or another! And PTL and 16 weeks AND 5 months of bedrest!! My god women! You did go through alot!! I don't know if I could handle that!

KMB7

We have all felt the same way or similar. It took us 18 months of medical treatment to get pregnant.

I was so excited to be pregnant, then I started feeling pregnant and was ready to be done. I was so sick that I lost 25lbs in 2 months, had preterm labor, bedrest, gestational diabetes and yes it was worth it all. Do I want to do it all over again, no not really, but I would to have my beautiful babies. 

(((hugs))) It will all be worth it in the end.  

macchiatto

Very understandable ... also normal to feel that way AFTER your sweet babies come and you are trying to take care of two crying newborns on almost no sleep. (Or deal with two whining, teething, clingy 6-month-olds, etc.) I say that not to discourage you but just so that when it happens you'll know you're not alone! I'm so glad I had my babies and the cliche is true, it does get easier. Hang in there and hopefully your m/s will ease and things will be easier at least for a few weeks.

I'm also shocked you got fired for being on bedrest; are you planning to sue?

ncsubride

I can def. can sympathize with you.  I had a m/c and then it took us 9 long months of trying to get pregnant again and we found out we were having twins we were elated. 

I was so sick during my pregnancy I threw up every single day (most days multiple times) from about week 6 until the day I had my c-section.  I had horrible heartburn (which I have never had before and it went away right after delivery).  I also had horrible swelling to the point of actual pain in my feet/ankles. 

I wanted to be pregnant so bad and show off my bump and instead my bump was hidden behind the toilet most days.  Def. not a glamorous pregnancy here and makes me think we might not do it again bc I was really very miserable.

Carmela752

I sympathize too.

I thought I was going to keep on working out, be able to eat healthy, take long walks, etc. Instead I feel sick and crappy 24/7, have my arse planted firmly on the couch most of the time, haven't done anything physically active, I don't even clean or do dishes right now, and I'm eating super crappy because I can only eat whatever random things don't make me gag that day.

Not exactly what I pictured.

 

franciscaz

I've been lying here in the hospital on bedrest w/tons of meds for almost 3 wks right now.  YES I REALLY BELIEVE PREGNANCY SUCKS!!!!!!!!   Does it mean I'm a bad mom... no!  It is just that this is hard   Also let me add having gone through IF and than pregnancy and than motherhood once I had big expectations... I think we all do.  Each step of this process is hard and those expectations always come down to earth.

Hang in there, it really is worth it... just tough

pea-kay

i didn't have the infertility issues, but i know what you mean about hating being pregnant. i always thought i'd love it, but being pg with multiples is so scary, it was so hard to just enjoy it. but in retrospect, i wish i had just tried to, because i'm so nostalgic for it now. it will get better, though. i had a great 2nd trimester, hope you do too!

Temp159135562506975

pregnancy is hard - no matter how much you tried and wanted to get pregnant- it's not easy BEING pregnant - so don't feel bad!

I had a HORRIBLE last 6 weeks to my first pregnancy - i was in horrible pain the whole time from kidney stones, stents, and also on bedrest b/c of Pre-E and PTL... then i had a 4th degree tear from childbirth and was in pain for over 8 weeks -miserable.  I wasn't sure i could ever do it again... but I did.... and FWIW - my 2nd pg was SOOOO easy - even though it was twins - i had no complications, felt great most of the time and delivered at 38w 2 healthy babies.... you just never know with pregnancy.

I hope you can get a break and enjoy your pg more - but even if you don't- do not feel bad!  I'm a SAIF mama, too, and know the guilt for feeling the way you do- but it's normal to be miserable!  Just know it will be over soon and you'll have those wonderful babies for all that work

jec2006

I know how you feel.  My pregnancy with DD went sooo smoothly, and I felt great almost the entire time.  Now, I am 35 weeks pregnant with twins, and I have been miserable for all of the pregnancy except for two weeks.  I had a rough first tri feeling awful, then scary ERA results and had to wait 6 weeks to get amnio and results, which was emotionally difficult and horrible, then I had to go on bedrest for 6 weeks.  So now, just being released from bedrest, I now feel awful again, can't move much, and have sciatica.  I love my babies and want them to cook as long as possible, but I just want them to come already.  This has been a miserable pregnancy, and I can't wait for it to be over.

Sweets2005

I don't have much advice to offer since my 1st tri was a breeze and I am only just now starting to feel like crap. But I wanted to mention about the pasta, do you have whole grain? That has extra protein in it which you need a lot of now and also (I don't know anything about constipation because I never had it), do you think you would be as constipated? Can you get your doc to prescribe you a prenatal that also has a stool softener in it?

gumiberg

I am confused as to why you cant drink when you are thirsty, and why you can only eat lots of pasta?

My pregnancy has been very enjoyable thus far, aside from a 5 week (and counting) stretch of modified bedrest.  I think being healthy is really key - if you are thirsty, drink water. If you are backed up, eat whole wheat pasta and veggies instead.  If there are medical conditions that prevent you from being healthy, then consult your dr.

You are only 12 weeks in and the best is yet to come...fetal movmenet, hiccups, growth scans, gender reveals, baby shopping...there is really a lot to embrace and look forward to.  Good luck.

bclspeer

You are not alone....let me just tell you no one know how hard it is until unless they have experienced it. I promise you....promise you it is ALL worth it!!!! I remember the hard and miserable times being preg with twins too. I also remember thinking I should never complain b/c I would have done anything to be preg and be having a baby but it is very, very hard to deal with all the symptoms/problems one can have. Just hang in there and dream of meeting your precious little angels. You are strong and can make it. Really, as hard and long as pregnancy seems when it is over you think well actually it went by so fast. Try to see the positive sides...enjoy feeling them move and watching your belly dance and grow. Enjoy having people take care of you. It is such a miracle. Embrace it!! This too shall pass. Best of luck!

rach*champp*3-1

Yes, carrying twins is very hard!! Nobody understands it unless they have gone through it.  That is one of the great reasons I love this board so much...... it's a place where I can go and people understand exactly what I mean.  Just b/c you don't love being preg doesn't mean you don't love your babies.  I know it seems like a long road but it will eventually be over and all worth it.  Good luck!! 

AlpacaBunny

Oh yes, I felt the exact same way!  I wished and wished to be pregnant for a long time.  I have wanted to have a baby since I got married, even before that really.  My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage so after that experience I don't think pregnancy will ever be a very joyful thing for me..ever.  I spent my entire pregnancy worrying about the babies and that something would go wrong.  Then I ended up on bedrest at 25 weeks for the remainder of my pregnancy (until 36 weeks..they took me off).  I was so uncomfortalbe.  I had horrible all day sickness until about 20 weeks, I was constipated, had so many aches and pains and could not sleep at ALL.  I was miserable.  I did enjoy feeling my babies move around and finally getting to wear maternity clothes and show off my belly.  I enjoyed parts of it, but the entire package was so not easy for me.  I said the exact same thing so many times, I wish I could just travel through time to get to my due date so I could know my babies were ok. 

 Hang in there, you will make it!  It unfortunately doesn't get easier as time goes on.  Just do whatever you have to do to be as comfortable as you can be.  Feel free to vent and complain here any time!