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North Carolina Babies
WWYD: cat vs toddler
So, I'm having a problem with one of my cats getting along with Liam. We have 3 cats and a dog, all but one are rescues. This is our most recent rescue, Sam, we've had him 2 years. He's always been a bit of an oddball, though super friendly (anyone who's been to my house, you've met him - he's the gray and white cat that surely came and sat in your lap LOL).
Well, Sam just has no tolerance at all for Liam. He will fillet him at a moment's notice. Sam is the one who sliced Liam up last night and somehow hooked a claw under and ripped off his pinky toenail (see my previous post). I don't know what to do. I'm not naive, I expect Liam to get some scratches living with 3 cats. But this is excessive. He is doing fine with the other 2 cats. Sam insists on laying around on the floor where Liam likes to play, then won't tolerate being petted by him. I've worked really hard with Liam too about no pulling on ears/tails/feet, but I do allow him to pet and hug them.
A few weeks ago, Liam hugged Sam, and he turned around and bit him on the face, leaving red tooth marks on his cheek. Pretty much any time Liam touches him, he hisses, slaps or bites at him. I am starting to think this cat just can't live with a toddler. We adopted him through a local rescue, and I'm considering writing an email to the woman who owns the rescue asking for help.
I am NOT one of these people who give up a pet when it's inconvenient, and I hate the thought of having to rehome Sam, especially right now during kitten season when all the rescues are full to overflowing, but I can't let Liam continue to be beat up by him either. What would you do? Would you contact the rescue? Or am I overreacting, and this will get better with time?
Rachel & Bill 9-10-05, Liam Andrew born 5-30-08 (formerly lakebride05)
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Re: WWYD: cat vs toddler
Ok, I LOVE cats
And this is a fear of mine as well, that my cat & child won't get along (or worse). I think ultimately if the cat is unpredictable with the child, something's got to change. And I'm assuming you don't want to get rid of your child...
As much as I know it must be hard, it seems like the arrangement is just not working out. If it were me (and I have no experience w/ shelters, etc) - I would try to find a friend to take him. I know this is kind of against shelter-law, but since you can vouch for the fact that he's sweet and a good cat, you could probably find a home for him. Again, if you're by the book on shelters you probably won't want to do this, but that's what I would probably do.
I'm sorry you're going through this - I would be totally torn up about it too.
could you just put the cat in another room when you've got liam out? that way you don't have to rehome your cat and liam won't get attacked by it either?
i know that will probably be a pain but at least it could be a solution.
This is always a tough one. We have two cats. One definitely is not fond of Natalie but she runs away pretty quickly when Natalie comes around (although she is starting to let her pet her more now, when I'm sitting there with them). Our other cat (Picus, the huge one you saw when here) for the most part does really well with Natalie. Although we're teaching her to pet nicely etc., sometimes Natalie gets carried away and ends up pulling or pushing, etc. 9 times out of 10 Picus will just move away or shield himself with his paws (claws drawn in) until we move Natalie away. He hasn't really swatted at her with claws outstretched (he has with his claws in) but she has gotten a scratch here and there from playing with him.
To me it sounds like Sam is just not tolerant of Liam. I'm hestitant to say it would get better. Given the number of times he's swatted with claws, I'd be pressed to find him a new home although I'm sure it would be difficult on you three.
I would probably give Feliway a try for a week or two and if I didn't see any change, then I would try to re-home.
I was always against re-homing until I found myself in a situation where we had to re-home a dog. It was a very difficult decision for us to make, but it ended up being the best decision for us AND for the dog. He had a great life at his new home and I don't doubt that he was much happier there than he ever was with us. If you have to re-home Sam, maybe it will be the same for him & he'll be a much happier cat without getting stressed out from living with a toddler.
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Ecugirl - did you ever use that Feliway stuff? Would you spray the child w/ it? I'm just curious, it seems really interesting & I've never heard of it...
ETA - nevermind, looks like a plugin. I am curious if it works though
I've never used Feliway because my cats are pretty chill. However, if I thought they were stressed out I'd give it a shot.
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Thanks for the suggestions ladies. ECU, we've actually used Feliway before, on Sam actually, when he was having trouble integrating when we first adopted him. So we already have the plug in thing, I just need to get a refill for it. That's a good idea.
It's possible my mom might take him, but not right away. She has a super elderly dog and couldn't take him until after the dog was gone. Plus, she lives in MA so we'd have to drive him up there. Pretty much all our friends in the area have small children, so that wouldn't be any better for him.
Bleh! I never expected to have this problem. I feel like this would be a big black mark against us forever in future pet adoptions if I contact the rescue, and I even want to foster for them sometime in the future.
I was so upset yesterday after it happened, I was in tears. When DH got home, I had to go sit outside in the yard by myself to cool off. Sam has the whole freakin' house to roam, and Liam is the one confined to a few rooms at the time, it's really not hard to avoid him!
I don't think you should feel that way at all! When we had to re-home our dog, the rescue organization was SO nice about it. They can tell the difference between someone who is lazy or who doesn't care about their animals versus someone who genuinely cares and who has tried everything they can to make a situation work. If it comes down to re-homing, you will know that you are doing the best thing for your family and the cat. If he is that stressed out around Liam, I am sure that he will be much happier in a toddler-free environment.
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I didn't read all the responses so forgive me if I'm repeating....
I don't think it will get better with time. Cats are so fickle and cannot be taught the way a dog can. We have a cat that is pretty mean, he likes to bite/scratch. He's calmed down a lot, but still gets us once in a while. I've always "told" him (Yes I talk to my cat) that if he bites DS he's going to live with my Mom on the farm. If it came down to it, I would probably send him away. Obviously you need to ensure Liam's safety and your own sanity. I would try to rehome him through the rescue and see what happens.