Anyone get tired of all the judging?

MayDayGirl

Sometimes I can't handle being on these bump boards because I feel like there's SO MUCH judging!  Whatever happened to "what works for one family might not work for another".

 

I'm not saying people should never have strong opinions, but it seems so often when it comes to parenting people go overboard.

It exhausts me.

Temp206787500007404

Yes, but not enough to keep me away from my lovelies.

MayDayGirl

MrsB2007:

Yes, but not enough to keep me away from my lovelies.

sadly I agree.  lol I'm a gluten for punishment.

TTCgradstud

This is why I really only come to this board anymore.  In general I think our discussions tend to go better- i.e. be more mature, then those on other boards.  And I lost interest in 107 internet strangers screaming at someone for what is typically just a dumb question. 

So here I stay to talk to people I think I would like IRL. 

julandjo

MayDayGirl:

Whatever happened to "what works for one family might not work for another".

This is exactly right.  Some people just can't accept that there are other ways of doing things that are just as okay as another.  Plus it's human nature to want to make yourself look better or more enlightened than someone else.  It's humbling when you realize that you really don't know everyone's circumstances, reasons and methods, and thus you really don't know what's best for them.

come*on*baby

THIS is exactly why I stay away from our local baby board! they're CA-RAY-ZEEEEE

MayDayGirl

fredalina:

It's not personal for me unless someone makes it personal.

Someone stating they judge all parents who hit their kids (including in that swatting hands, spanking bottoms etc). I think that pretty  much touches everyone personally who's ever done those things.

I feel offended and I don't even qualify in that category.

katiejo11

yes! parenting is one of those topics that EVERYONE has an opion on and voices it!

This is the reason I stick to just this board! But I am very thin skinned when it comes to being a mommy, (esp. an adoptive mommy) and being judged about anything that deals with being a parent. I just try so hard to do it the best I can and get real sensitive towards it.

FinallyMrs.G

TTCgradstud:

This is why I really only come to this board anymore.  In general I think our discussions tend to go better- i.e. be more mature, then those on other boards.  And I lost interest in 107 internet strangers screaming at someone for what is typically just a dumb question. 

So here I stay to talk to people I think I would like IRL. 

FinallyMrs.G

Hey, it sent before I could reply to TTC quote. I agree with what you said exactly! I accidently clicked on another board the other day and the first two posts I thought, "what the hell happend to this board" and realized what I had done. LOL

Jennifer Webb

I find that this Board tends to be the most friendly out of the bunch - and far less BS going on!

foundmylazybum

MrsB2007:

Yes, but not enough to keep me away from my lovelies.

I never go to any other bump boards but I travel around the Nest and I love the judging. Judging, Jurying and executioning is my favorite!!! ;D ?

Temp206787500007404

foundmylazybum:

MrsB2007:

Yes, but not enough to keep me away from my lovelies.

I never go to any other bump boards but I travel around the Nest and I love the judging. Judging, Jurying and executioning is my favorite!!! ;D  

Bring your popcorn and wine coolers over to my house then.  :P

foundmylazybum

MrsB2007:

foundmylazybum:

MrsB2007:

Yes, but not enough to keep me away from my lovelies.

I never go to any other bump boards but I travel around the Nest and I love the judging. Judging, Jurying and executioning is my favorite!!! ;D ?

Bring your popcorn and wine coolers over to my house then.? :P

Lol, don't freak out but I was telling the hubs about the circumcision post and I said, "I just wish I knew MrsB IRL. She's awesome! ;D" ?

Temp206787500007404

foundmylazybum:

MrsB2007:

foundmylazybum:

MrsB2007:

Yes, but not enough to keep me away from my lovelies.

I never go to any other bump boards but I travel around the Nest and I love the judging. Judging, Jurying and executioning is my favorite!!! ;D  

Bring your popcorn and wine coolers over to my house then.  :P

Lol, don't freak out but I was telling the hubs about the circumcision post and I said, "I just wish I knew MrsB IRL. She's awesome! ;D"  

LMAO!  No worries.  I'll introduce you to my other stalker.  You'll like her too. 

Sally J

Since I am the one who said that I judge others for hitting and spanking, I feel I should speak up.  I think it is in human nature to judge, especially when we are unable to relate to, or understand someone else's viewpoint.  Our society is set up to judge other people on their actions (our judicial system does just this).  I think it's a way to challenge our own thoughts, beliefs and ideas as well as be exposed to someone else's point of view.

I do judge people who hit their children because I really can't understand how it could possibly be an effective type of discipline.  However, what I should really say is that I judge the choice to spank, not the person doing the spanking.  I don't think someone is a bad parent or a bad person for choosing spanking.  I think it is a poor parenting decision that I strongly do not agree with.  However, I still appreciate hearing why someone would choose those parenting decisions.  It's still valuable to hear how a family does things differently than mine even if I continue to disagree.

Also, the post was worded to open up the discussion to judging spanking.  The question was asked if spanking was bad.  Plus it is a hot topic and they definitely can get heated.  I personally think that's a good thing because we are all different and approach life differently.

MayDayGirl

fredalina:

MayDayGirl:

fredalina:

It's not personal for me unless someone makes it personal.

Someone stating they judge all parents who hit their kids (including in that swatting hands, spanking bottoms etc). I think that pretty  much touches everyone personally who's ever done those things.

I feel offended and I don't even qualify in that category.

And obviously that person has an extreme opinion that most of us don't share.  Most people said they consider spanking ineffectual but not abusive, or they consider it okay. 

But, and i'm really not trying to pick on you because i've gotten my feelings hurt over a HTT i've posted that got out of hand, but you worded your original post: "Do you think spanking is ok or bad?  Would you/will you/do you do it?"  That's bound to beg some judgment, no? 

FWIW i think there are many circles out there where a group of people will have practically the opposite viewpoint.  They feel that spanking is THE best method ("spare the rod and spoil the child" and all that), and that the problem with society is that not enough parents spank their children.  They're judging those of us who choose not to spank the same way.

Oh I know, I wasn't personally being judged, I hardly added anything to post, certainly not even my own opinion.

I'm just having a bad day and I get tired of such strong opinions. Lol I have a lot of "extreme" things that we do (according to our friends and family, maybe not here), but I certainly don't expect others to follow suit. I  just do them in my own home (not talking about discipline here).

I just get irritated at such blanket statements.

Like yesterday "not adopting a certain race is racist and idiotic".

 anyways.. moving on.  sorry for my bad mood.

 

pepomntpat

I personally get tired of feeling like it is necessary to walk on eggshells to avoid hurting someone's feelings.  I will certainly not go out of my way to hurt someone's feelings, but if my opinion is asked for, it will be given and if it hurts someone's feelings, oh well.

And geeze, "all the judging?" It's one post about a very controversial subject. What exactly were you looking for?

candm

MayDayGirl:

Sometimes I can't handle being on these bump boards because I feel like there's SO MUCH judging!  Whatever happened to "what works for one family might not work for another".

I generally agree with this statement, but I don't feel there is much leeway when it comes to hitting/spanking/swatting your kids. I know this form of discipline is in part a cultural thing, but I don't think it makes it any more acceptable. My parents spanked us as children. Did we turn out bad? No. Do I think it was appropriate? No. I judge my parents (if that's what you want to call it) for what I believe was inappropriate parenting, but that doesn't mean I love them any less.

Temp206787500007404

I may be putting words in her mouth, but I think the judging she was referring to was on all of the boards in general.  There's a lot of it going on -- not just here! 

so1966

julandjo:

MayDayGirl:

Whatever happened to "what works for one family might not work for another".

This is exactly right.  Some people just can't accept that there are other ways of doing things that are just as okay as another.  Plus it's human nature to want to make yourself look better or more enlightened than someone else.  It's humbling when you realize that you really don't know everyone's circumstances, reasons and methods, and thus you really don't know what's best for them.

 

i completely agree!....

*Erin&Mike*

MrsB2007:

I may be putting words in her mouth, but I think the judging she was referring to was on all of the boards in general.  There's a lot of it going on -- not just here! 

I agree...Mayday didn't mean to offend anyone.

MayDayGirl

pepomntpat:

I personally get tired of feeling like it is necessary to walk on eggshells to avoid hurting someone's feelings.  I will certainly not go out of my way to hurt someone's feelings, but if my opinion is asked for, it will be given and if it hurts someone's feelings, oh well.

And geeze, "all the judging?" It's one post about a very controversial subject. What exactly were you looking for?

'

Of course I'm not simply talking about one post, nor this board, just these boards in general. if you venture out much, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.

 

 

foundmylazybum

MayDayGirl:

pepomntpat:

I personally get tired of feeling like it is necessary to walk on eggshells to avoid hurting someone's feelings.? I will certainly not go out of my way to hurt someone's feelings, but if my opinion is asked for, it will be given and if it hurts someone's feelings, oh well.

And geeze, "all the judging?" It's one post about a very controversial subject. What exactly were you looking for?

'

Of course I'm not simply talking about one post, nor this board, just these boards in general. if you venture out much, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.

?

?

?I don't really like when people make comments like??this. THAT is really judgy and assumptive about people's activity on the boards. I know Peppy from the Pet's board on the Nest...I think she probably has a handle on how the Nest/Bump culture works...?

PSU-NCBride

I'm offended that everyone is offended.?

No, but seriously, I think we all are more sensitive to certain topics. I didn't weigh in on all the race stuff yesterday. I have a BR son and even I was offended that ?people thought not wanting to adopt outside of one's race was racist.?

pepomntpat

I venture out lots, thanks. I've been on the nest for about five years. I'm a regular on Pets and my local board and used to frequent TIP and FM.   I got bored with the same catty responses.  I didn't find it offensive. I found it tiresome.  ::yawn:: 

I think people that find it offensive should probably find something else to do with their day.