HTW: Circumcision
I'll be honest, I have a problem with circumcision because I don't really feel like it is necessary blah, blah, blah. I'm not judging those who choose it, but it just doesn't feel right for MY child. DH and I are NOT on the same page and I am forever grateful that our 1st was a girl and the point was moot.
However, we're doing IA, and I've been told by our agency that we will most likely get a boy. He'll be between 9-12 mos old probably.
Is there a difference between circumcising a newborn and an almost toddler? At that point we'll need to see a specialist and it will be a bigger procedure. I just don't understand it. I mentioned to DH that one of his cousins (3 yrs old) is not circumcised. His mother is Russian and didn't feel the social pressure to do it.
We almost got into a fight about a child that hasn't even been conceived yet! I just disagree that since he is the one with the penis he gets to make all decisions about future penises in this family.
Ok, who wants to weigh in on this one?
Re: HTW: Circumcision
I briefly dated a guy who was uncircumcised and it was icky, IMO. Let's just say if we have a boy, he will be circumcised.
But that's just my personal opinion and probably not from the perspective you were looking for! Hehe.
We circumcised our son 17 years ago. It takes extra steps to keep clean and is very painful from what I hear to have done as a adult.
Today my son does not brush his teeth enough for me so I don't think he would clean that area well enough. I don't think that he would tell me if there was a problem either until it was bad...
I would check with a doctor on having a older child done.
It has been a topic of discussion with us, because DH is hesitant and I'm all for it. I think if we were to adopt a toddler who was uncircumcized, we would not circumcize at that age, but an infant would be a different story.
I think you should both talk about your reasoning, look at the research, and maybe even talk to a pedi or 2 to get their take.
Good luck.
We did not circumcise for many reasons. We think it's a cosmetic procedure that does not have strong evidence of being medically necessary. We aren't religious either. We just couldn't see removing a part of our sons body in an extremely sensitive area and causing him unnecessary pain, especially for a non-medical reason. However, I really do think it's a personal decision for any parent to decide.
I thought my DH would make the decision and at first he wanted to do it. Then I asked him to read more info on it and to read about the procedure itself because I definitely didn't want to do it. After he did more research he said absolutely we wouldn't circumcise.
You may want to ask your pedi about circumcision in an older infant. Also maybe do some research about any issues your pedi may not bring up so you can ask. I wonder do they have to be put under to do the circumcision since I can't imagine them laying still for an incredibly painful experience? Do they get any pain medication afterward?
This made me laugh out loud.
You know, I'm not sure if I would circumcise a baby that old. Have ou asked the agency whether you should expect the baby to be circumcised already? Maybe this is a non-issue?
I did have my son circumcised when he was a newborn. However, I would ask your pedi about circumcising 9-12 month old before making a decision.
I clicked on this board by accident, but saw your post and just thought I would share. My DS was born with something called a hypospadias (it's a problem with his urethra) that has to be corrected with surgery, usually around 6 months. So they do not circumsize at birth because they may need to use the extra skin to repair the hypospadias. So DS had the surgery at 6 months and he did excellent!
They do need to be put to sleep for that (and I assume they would do the same if they are just circumsizing) but he healed really well, with no complications. They first day he was pretty sleepy and grumpy, but by day two he was fine. The only restriction was that he couldn't go in straddle toys like the exersaucer for 2 weeks.
I don't have any advice on whether to do it or not, but just wanted to let you know that if you do end up deciding to circumsize that it wasn't traumatic for him because he was older. Good luck!
Boys coming from Korea will not be circumcised. Neither of my sons are circumsized--there hasn't been a medial need (some kids do end up needing it). I've heard that some peds like to use a general anaesthetic, which increases the risk to the child.
Keep in mind that your agency will be the legal guardian for 6 months after you come home (at least) until finalization, and they may not permit an unnecessary medical proceedure. Not to mention that you wouldn't want to disrupt the attachement process by immediately having a child circed. That would make the child closer to 18 months, if that makes a difference.
This is something my husband and I discussed years ago, only briefly. I'm of the mindset that it's unnecessary. If our child was born to us, I might have considered it right then, for no other reason than to not have him "look different." But the truth is, even then, I would be hesitant. I know it's a silly reason, and more and more, people are moving away from it.
When we first discussed it, my husband was uncomfortable with the conversation and the idea of not doing it. Once I explained my reasons, though, he said I made good points, could we please end the conversation, and only ever discuss it again if we had to because we were in that situation. (He really hated the conversation.)
I have no intention of circumcising any child we adopt at this time if they haven't had it already done. They will be between the ages of 2 and 6, and at that point I think it would just be cruel and pointless.
Very good points. We also had this debate when I was pg with our son. I didn't want DS circ'd; DH did because that's all he knows. I won.
We've so far had no issues due to DS not being circ'd, and he's learning how to clean in there, etc. I would be really, really, really hesitant to do the procedure on an older baby unless it was deemed medically necessary.
Maybe we are the only two old skool ladies!
Apparently penis trends are changing! ?
Hey, count me in! I circumcised my son. I would just talk to my pedi before circing an older baby or child.
Oh, and just to clarify, I don't think I would with a toddler. The husband says he'd have to "research it," he wasn't sure of the "medical ramifications," whatever that means!?
We clearly have not thought this far ahead to the penises. ?
Even in the US, people are cutting back on circumcision (sorry, couldn't resist). I think the rate is close to 50/50 right now. So the peer pressure thing may not be as relavant as it was a generation or 2 ago.
There are some benefits to circumcision with regard to ease of HIV transmission. If I lived somewhere (Sub-Saharan Africa) where HIV was endemic, I might have a different opinion. But it's too hot for me to live there, so not an issue.
Be aware that there is some question about the study linking circumcision to reducing HIV transmission. Also it seems simpler to teach my DS how to use a condom than to cut anything off his penis to prevent HIV. (Can you tell where I stand on circumcision?
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DH is Jewish and even though we do not practice and I am not Jewish we would have circumcised for this reason. Also, DH does have the penis and I feel for this particular area - though I have my opinions - he has personal, first hand experience and therefore his opinion on this issue should be dominate IMO.
Our BM was still legally G's guardian at the time the decision was to be made in the hospital for circumcision - she made the decision and so G was already circumcised before we met him on day 3.
I would NOT circumcise a non-newborn. I just think that is cruel - I mean, just getting shots can be painful as a parent if your LO suffers let alone a circumcision - shot pain is over quickly, circumcision pain is not over quickly. I think it would be more likely to get infected as well as a toddler would be more curious and have the physical ability to touch/itch/etc. With a newborn, it is all over with and well healed within a week to two weeks at most.
i agree with you in that i don't think it's natural but i will most likely have my sons circumcised because they might be teased if they weren't. the guys in HS made fun of this one boy because he wasn't and i remember how embarrassed he was when he overheard them one day.
anyway, we plan to adopt a boy from russia 1-2 yo and i have read up on it. all accounts i've read are to go to a urologist and they will use a general anesthetic, you give him some tylenol or something the rest of the day, and he should be fine after that. i've even heard of boys who had no issues with it up to 5 yo.
I have no issue with newborn circumcision. I think it is the parents' choice and performed so frequently that the risk of complication is very, very low. Additionally, the current data show that, when performed under 1 week of age, the procedure is virtually pain-free (hard to believe, but true). We use local anesthetic and oral soothing methods to help the little guys - and they breeze right through it.
Over the age of 1 week, data show that it is painful in nearly every infant. I think I would lean against it in an older child for this reason if there were no medical necessity.
There is a fair amount of data showing the reduced risk of HIV seroconversion (and even transmission of a few other STDs) in circ'd vs. uncirc'd males - but most of this was conducted in areas where the HIV rates are quite significant. There is no data to support the widespread practice of neonatal circumcision for this purpose.
I would choose to circ my son because there is a good amount of data indicating a higher risk of HPV infection (and subsequent cancers) in non-circ'd men.
I don't usually post here, but I like to lurk on occasion, so I thought I would throw in my .02$.
When I was in HS my boyfriend was not circumcised. After I saw it, we broke up (I was scared of it.....NOT like the pictures or movies) I told everyone about "him."
For that reason, we do plan on circumcising. I think a few days of discomfort as an infant are easier to stomach that a few years of mocking in high school. With that being said, foregoing circumcision is becoming more popular....
I'm not a regular poster, but I lurk on occasion.
My little brother was adopted from Russia at 11 months old and was uncircumcised. I believe he was around 14 months when he had the procedure done. It was a quick procedure lasting less than 15 minutes....comparable to having ear tubes put in (for comparison). He did have sedation. Recovering was very quick and we just used Tylenol for pain. He was active and playful like usual within just a few hours after surgery.
I think it's mostly a personal decision. As a medical provider, I've seen too many kids with paraphimosis to not strongly consider circumcising my own children, even if at a later age.
This is actually a hot topic in my house. My husband is european and not circumcised. Most of the world is not and it is a very american thing to circumsize baby boys. The issue with us is that my family is Jewish and very much believes in it. I am not religious and don't care much about it, but my husband is very against it. I agree that it is how most of the world lives, is not medically necessary, and is a natural part of your body. If we ever have a boy, I don't think we will do it as I believe our son should look like his father, but my parents will likely flip out!
Just wanted to throw in my two cents here. There are definitely studies in both favor of both opinions. We will be circumcising our son, if we have one. Not so much for the "locker room syndrome," but for medical reasons.
We have a lot of medical professionals (nurses, doctors, etc) in our family and they all agree that circumcision is for the best. Normally, uncircumcised boys don't have problems until later in life, when they have health issues that prevent themselves from cleaning properly. Old age, strokes, or other impairments prevent them from cleaning properly (without assistance) and lead to infections. Our friends that work in nursing homes seeing it all the time...my mom used to work in home health and so did she. Pretty much across the board, they all agree that the problems don't arise until later...but when they do, because of the other health problems that are also present, they are compounded and just cause more problems. As you can imagine, after a certain age, cleaning "down there" like you should is just not going to be feasible without assistance....and there might not be any help. SO, we are going to.
Again, this is obviously not the answer for everyone, but this is our reasoning.
Erica
Don't know if this topic has run its course, but I am in the process of adopting a 2 year old boy from Russia. I have looked into getting him circumcised, for what it's worth I'm jewish and he will be raised jewish. Anyway, I've talked to others who have had their toddlers circumcized and it was an easy, minor surgery. Yes, they are put under. Even if I weren't jewish, I would probably still have it done as I think circumcision is still the norm.