Is sarcasm not ok with 3 yo?

xbrooklyngrl

I'm very sarcastic and DH has had to stop me a few times in the last week to remind me B is 3 (like I didn't know this).

Are you sarcastic with your kids? Does it maybe come off as sounding nasty?

For example, we were going to my neighbors bday party, she knows them by name, she knew we were going to them, she knows their house is attached to ours and asks if we're walking or driving...umm, yeah B, we're driving next door. DH yelled at me. Was that mean?

ETA: BTW, she responded with "nooooo, they live right here mommy"

femmegem

I'm not sure if it's mean, but developmentally kids that young don't understand sarcasm. One of my friends had to constantly remind me of that when I was around her youngest DD years ago because I'm pretty sarcastic, too.

EXL311

I think the problem with sarcasm is that a lot of times it comes across like you're saying "what are you stupid or something?".  I'm kind of with your DH on this one but I think it depends on the situation and what you say.  The fact that she's 3 may mean she didn't really get it but an older kid might get their feelings hurt.

xbrooklyngrl

you girls are right.

I'd never want to make her feel that way. ugh.

Ok, something else to work on.

femmegem

xbrooklyngrl:

you girls are right.

I'd never want to make her feel that way. ugh.

Ok, something else to work on.

I'm still bad with it, too. I should be more conscious of it.

KoriBrett

They just don't get it - they take what is said seriously and literally.  So it could be really confusing.  I have to remind FIL of this a lot.  He'll be all "my heart is breaking I can't take it anymore oh my little Sammy I won't see you for forever"  (we see him 1-2x a week, he's a bit dramatic).

The next day Sam asked if grandpa was ok because his heart is broken and he needs a doctor.  That happens a lot with him LOL 

So, not bad really, but they just don't really get it yet.

EMT

I do it too.  But DD never *gets* it. 

goodheartedmommy

E is the king of sarcasm already. He has no choice but to be that way with his mommy and daddy. He said something sarcastic the other day that went straight over MIL's head, though! I see the ability to appreciate sarcasm as having a good sense of humor    People don't always get that we're being sarcastic, but that's okay. We know!

goodheartedmommy

My 3 year old is the only one that gets sarcasm? I have a hard time believing that.

xbrooklyngrl

goodheartedmommy:

E is the king of sarcasm already. He has no choice but to be that way with his mommy and daddy. He said something sarcastic the other day that went straight over MIL's head, though! I see the ability to appreciate sarcasm as having a good sense of humor    People don't always get that we're being sarcastic, but that's okay. We know!

see that's how I am too and I want her to "get it" and she mostly does. But I guess sometimes it may come off more nasty then I'd like. I don't want to be like that, as if I'm talking down to her.

goodheartedmommy

Okay, for example, the other day MIL and FIL were watching the kids. FIL says he's going to run to lowes. E says "better not, papaw, the bags will be too heavy to carry on the way home!" And it was in a total joking manner. He knew FIL wouldn't run, and he was just being silly. If I say I'm going to jump in the shower, Ethan will tell me to be careful not to bump my head. But he's kidding, and knows I'm kidding, too.

KoriBrett

ghm - I'm sarcastic as hell but DD just doesn't get it.  She's very literal and serious.  I think DS will get it early though.

xbrooklyngrl

yeah, B isn't that literral and is more like E.

 

gracendantho26

It is SO HARD for me not to be sarcatic. But kids don't get it and I agree that it comes off sounding like someone is treating their kid like they are stupid. I've seen people do it and it comes off down right mean sounding. But it is actually a major challenge for me because I am such a sarcastic b!tch.

xbrooklyngrl

so am I, but I don't want to sound like those people. I'll have to stop for real. Not even sure how.

goodheartedmommy

What kind of sarcasm are we talking about that comes across as being mean? I need examples to see if we're on the same page.

gracendantho26

GHM to me that is not sarcasm..that is joking around. Kids do not tend to grasp true sarcasm until about 7 years old typically.

stacynikki

I'm guilty of it with DS.  But I'm careful to make sure it doesn't come across as making him feel dumb.  Sometimes it just slips out though and I have to correct myself.

goodheartedmommy

I'd still like examples. That's not the extent of our sarcasm...

gracendantho26

Just so that we are all on the same page..I agree with dictionary.com description

var adTarget; adTarget ='/site=dictionary.com/area=search/aamsz=728x90/keyword=sarcasm' +'/pageid=' + aamPageId +'/random=' + aamRndNum; document.writeln(''); var CasaleArgs = new Object(); CasaleArgs.version = 2; CasaleArgs.adUnits = "2"; CasaleArgs.casaleID = 104874;

?noun

1.	harsh or bitter derision or irony.

2.	a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms

gracendantho26

Natalie: Hey mom I just hopped around the family room on one foot

me: Wow that's great natalie

Natalie: Yes, I am the best hopper on one footer in the world

me: Yes Natalie you are the BIG WINNER..NOBODY in the entire world hops around on one foot better than you. Congratulations. **said not in a nice way but with a bitchy tone.**

Bellisimo

I can't help but be sarcastic at times...especially towards DH, all in fun of course.  However, I realized that I should tone down conversations whenever DS is present because he doesn't miss a thing...and will regurgitate his new found knowledge at a later date in front of just about anyone!  Nothing hits home like seeing your ways mirrored back at you from your child.  I will say this...I have a good friend who is mega sarcastic and has a bad attitude about a lot of things in general and filters nothing.  Her DD is now 7 and she acts just like her mother...the good, bad and ugly!  And a little girl that has a smart mouth, rolls her eyes and just generally has an attitude even towards adults is NOT cute.  So, I'll try to be mindful of that especially as DD is growing up.  Girls already have a tendency to be sassy as it is! 

BrainySmurfette

I don't think it is a big deal if you do it, but I don't think a 3 year old is capable of getting it all the time.  In fact, several of the professional development workshops I have attended have made a big deal about not using sarcasm with students b/c they are developmentally unable to understand it all the time.  I teach HS.

Stellasmom

GHC, what you are talking about with your son is an understanding of a pun and/or colloquialisms.

KellyGreen

I try not to be sarcastic with DS, if he asked something like that, I'd say something like, "We're walking, silly!  It's just next door!"

Angela814

I think a lot depends on tone.  In your case, I'd say B "got it" based on her response, so it doesn't sound like a problem to me.  I've had similar conversations with A, and she is actually pretty happy to correct me and tell me how things really are.

I don't know if that counts as true sarcasm though.  A lot of times sarcasm can come across as being mean instead of just being playful.

Now as far as understanding non-literal phrases, I'd say a 3yo is too young.  I've told A to go jump on Daddy to wake him up.  I found her standing on our bed all ready to jump right on top of him.

Temp159135562506975

EXL311:

I think the problem with sarcasm is that a lot of times it comes across like you're saying "what are you stupid or something?".  I'm kind of with your DH on this one but I think it depends on the situation and what you say.  The fact that she's 3 may mean she didn't really get it but an older kid might get their feelings hurt.

ditto.